Here with Me
by ElleLaw
Summary: Casey Novak had the perfect life until a car accident changes everything. Now she is left in the wake of loss trying to piece back a life for her and her daughter. Moving to NYC to be near family she meets the notorious Alex Cabot. Life changes in a whole new way, but is it the change she needs to be happy again?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: First and foremost I want to thank Blitz for this awesome story idea! I hope you all enjoy it, because I am super excited to write it. Alex won't be a leading character for a few chapters, but she will join us soon hopefully. Anyway let me know what you think, your reviews keep me motivated to write!**

Casey Novak smiles as she fixes her three year old daughter Caroline's angel wings. Fixing the wings just right so they won't come loose during the Christmas Pageant, Casey turns her little girl to face her so she can look her over before heading out front to wait. With bright sparkling blue eyes the little redheaded girl looks up at her mother and asks for the fifth time, "Where's Daddy?"

Casey forces the smile to remain on her face as she answers again, "Daddy will be here any minute don't you worry! He won't miss a thing. As a matter of a fact, I should head out now so I can find him and get us a good seat so we can watch you. Okay?"

"Okay Mommy," the sweet little one replies. Taking her daughter's little hand in hers Casey walks Caroline over to where the little girl's preschool teacher is waiting with the other children for the program to start. Passing her off, Casey quickly heads up the hallway and back out to the front of the preschool.

Stepping outside into freezing December night air Casey pulls her cell phone from her pocket and calls her husband John for the third time this evening. This time he answers, "Yes, Casey."

"John, where are you? The pageant starts in ten minutes." Casey sighs into the phone.

"I am just leaving the hospital Case. I am going to be about fifteen minutes if traffic is good." John replies.

"John," Casey grumbles, "You were supposed to be here thirty minutes ago. Caroline has been asking for you the whole evening. If you get caught in traffic you will miss the whole thing." Despite her freezing, the redhead paces the sidewalk in front of the preschool while talking to her husband. It's a desperate effort to release tension before seeing him.

"Listen Casey, I am sorry. We had an emergency surgery come in I left as soon as I was finished." Pausing for a moment to collect his thoughts he continued, "Video the performance on your phone and when I get there catch me up before we see Caroline. We will tell her I saw the whole thing and I will watch it after we get her to bed tonight ok?"

"Okay, drive carefully." Casey says into the phone.

"I will see you soon sweetie." John replies.

Hanging up the phone, Casey lets out a deep breath. Looking up into the night sky she sees snowflakes begin to fall. Turning to head back into the building she smiles, she always loves it when it snows.

Walking back into the school and into the auditorium, Casey takes a seat near the back so she can save a seat for John. Waiting for the program to begin, Casey checks her emails. As much as she would like to stay frustrated at John for again being late to one of their daughters school events she can't because in all honesty being an ADA occasionally has her called away at odd hours as well.

The lights begin to dim and the surrounding talking families hush, as the school director walks to the center of the stage to greet the families. Listening to the director, Casey finishes reading her last email and switches her phone to video. John may be late but they were a good team and they can at least keep up 'awesome parent' appearances for their daughter's sake.

As the Christmas music starts to play and the two year old class appears on stage Casey feels a warm body sit next to her. "You made it in perfect time," she whispers to her husband giving him a chaste kiss. Taking his wife's warm hand in his cold one, he kisses her fingers and whispers, "I am really sorry I am late sweetie. I promise I will make it up to you."

Smiling Casey leans into his ear and says, "Don't worry about it. You are here that's all that matters." John wraps his arm around his beautiful wife's shoulders as they watch the performance. When their daughter's three year old class comes onto the stage he makes sure that Caroline sees him happily waving at her. The little girls beaming smile melted her parent's hearts.

Leaving the school after the program, all the happy families exit the building to find the snow falling fast. In the hour and a half the Christmas program ran at least two to three inches had fallen. John picks up Caroline and looks to Casey, "I think you two should ride with me. We can always come back for your car tomorrow after the roads are clear, but it's safer to take the Rover home." Casey nods despite driving a Lexus, her car hated taking the winding mountain roads in the snow. John had bought a Range Rover when they moved here being prepared for the obstacles of weather, but Casey hated driving SUV's and would always opt for a sedan, always arguing that at best it only snowed four months a year.

Climbing into the SUV and ensuring Caroline was safely strapped in they made their way home. Casey looked over at her handsome husband. Caroline might have gotten Casey's red hair and facial features, but she definitely got her striking bright blue eyes from her father. It always shocked Casey that Caroline hadn't wound up with her father's dark hair, but if Casey was honest with herself she was happy to have another redhead in the family.

Looking into the backseat and seeing that their little girl had already fallen asleep Casey whispers, "So, I finished up the Christmas shopping today on my lunch break."

John grins as he turns down the winding road that will lead them home. Softly speaking he asks, "Did you find the d-o-l-l?"

"I did!" Casey super quietly exclaims. "I hid it in my office at work."

"Great." John says turning the windshield wipers up to combat the steadily falling snow. Quietly he adds, "I was able to arrange with Grant today to be able to take the 23rd through the 26th off. So unless there is some major catastrophe I will be all yours."

"Oh really? Well I am off from Friday through the New Year so we will have to live it up. By the way, I talked to Kim today she said she and Owen would be driving up from the city on the 22nd and will head back on the 26th." Casey says.

Taking Casey's hand John quickly sneaks a look at his wife while saying, "Sounds good sweetie. I can't wait to get to hang out with Owen it's been forever."

"Yeah, well you and Owen can have your guy time, but I do get to have one movie night with my brother while they are here." Casey states.

"The Godfather marathon at Thanksgiving wasn't enough?" John replies with a chuckle. Casey shakes her head, "Aw, honey you know that Christmas is for Star Wars."

John laughs, "Don't worry sweetie I could never forget. Even when we were serving overseas he always had us watch it. Oddly enough it was a big hit in the desert."

Casey laughed and leaned over to kiss Johns cheek. "I love you so much!" she whispers. "I love you too," John replies. Suddenly the car was spinning across the road and off the embankment on the other side. As the SUV goes looming down the mountain Casey blacks out.

* * *

Coming to, Casey can't figure out what happened. The whole room seems to spin and she can't focus on anything, she can't hear anything, all she can do is feel. She feels pain all over, but mainly in her head and right arm. Groaning she tries to remember where she is and what has happened. 'Think Casey, think' is all she keeps running through her mind.

Touching her pounding head Casey feels something sticky pulling her hand away she sees a dark substance, blood. Finally it occurs to her, she was in the car. Riding in John's car, John was driving. She turns her head towards the driver's seat and sees John.

He isn't moving his head is hung forwards, and he has something sticking out of his chest. "Oh my God, John" Casey breathes as she tries to unfasten her seatbelt. Not being able to free the belt she opens the center console and grabs John's knife and cuts herself free. Climbing over to her husband she checks his pulse and there isn't one. Casey feels like she can't breathe, she just holds John's face in her hands while she begs, "No John…no…please John…please…wake up…please don't leave me."

She is crying profusely now and her hearing is starting to return that's when she hears Caroline crying for her and John. "Oh my God. Caroline sweetie!" Casey cries out to her scared child. Immediately she climbs into the back seat. Casey tries to look the small child over. "Caroline are you hurt," Casey asks but doesn't expect an answer, "Shh, sweetie Mommy is here. I am going to get you out baby."

Opening the SUV's back door Casey falls out into the snow and examines her surroundings. They seem to have driven off the road and ended in the ravine. Casey tries to remember exactly what happened but can't piece it together with her pounding head. Reaching into her pocket with her left hand she pulls out her phone and calls 911.

After a few rings she hears, "911 please state your emergency."

Casey begins, "T-there's been an accident…my family…we have been in an accident." Casey continues to explain what she can piece together to the operator. As she finishes the operator says, "Okay, Mrs. Novak I need you to find a clearing somewhere where the search helicopters will be able to see you, okay?"

"Okay," Casey shakily answers.

The operator continues, "Okay, I have dispatched emergency vehicles and search and rescue, find that clearing and keep your phone on you, I will call you back in ten minutes."

"Okay," Casey whimpers as she hangs up. Caroline still crying looks up to Casey and cries out, "I want Daddy."

"It's okay sweetie. Daddy is sleeping so we are going to go for a walk and look for special lights." Casey unclips her little girl and helps her into her little jacket and then wraps a blanket around her. Picking up the small child she suddenly realizes just how cold she is feeling the small warm body pressed into hers.

Holding the child on her left hip she tries to not use her right arm at all. Praying for strength, the redhead tries to make her way up the embankment to some sort of clearing. She keeps wondering 'where are the lights,' and 'where is help,' as she fears that she and her child might die out here.

Finally making her way to a clearing, Casey allows herself to sit in the center of the opening holding her small child against her body as the snow fell all around them. "I am cold Mommy, I want to go home." Caroline whispers as she shakes in Casey's arms.

Allowing her tears to fall silently she kisses her small child's head and whispers, "I know sweetie, we will soon. How about I tell you a story any story you want." Feeling Caroline nod her head she hears the little girl whisper, "Ariel Mommy."

"Okay sweetie, once upon a time there was this mermaid whose name was Ariel…" telling her little girl the story of the beloved Disney princess Casey still looks towards the sky as the snow pours down from the heavens above. Feeling her child's breathing even out she knows she has again fallen asleep. Taking a deep breath, Casey again prays that help will find them soon.

All of a sudden, she hears the helicopter and sees the search lights cut through the dark night sky. She frantically waves her hands in the air praying that she and Caroline will be seen. As the light falls over her body she knows they have been spotted. Hearing a man's voice echo through the quiet over a loud speaker she is told not to worry they would get them out in the next few minutes.

It is then that she fully allows reality to hit her. Feeling the first uncontrollable wracking sob course through her body she lets out a loud cry. Waiting she cries for everything that she knows she has lost forever to the quiet snowy night.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Glad you all are enjoying the story so far! I have chosen to write today, since tomorrow will be spent working on projects. So good for all of us…right? Btw, yes, I did it again…Owen might be Dr. Owen Hunt from Grey's Anatomy. **

* * *

**Five Days Later…**

Casey sat motionless on the side of her bed in her underwear as her sister-in-law Kim moved about the room. Kim was getting all of Casey's stuff ready for the day. She'd already fixed Casey's hair and applied her makeup. All Casey had strength to do was take a shower and put her underwear on she still felt like this was a bad nightmare and she was going to wake up any moment with John smiling at her.

Her pink casted wrist was a constant reminder that everything was real. Caroline's constant questions about when her daddy was going to come home were a constant reminder. Her brother Owen's presence was a reminder as was Kim's presence. Waking up with Kim in bed with her every morning instead of John was a reminder. Honestly, if it weren't for the sedative the doctors had prescribed her in the hospital she didn't know if she would even be able to get out of bed in the morning.

"Okay, Casey honey you are going to have to stand up long enough for me to get you in your dress. Okay?" Kim said softly. Kim seemed so different right now, so soft and sweet and full of compassion. Not to say her sister-in-law and best friend wasn't compassionate, just normally she was sarcastic and firm in everything. This was a new side Casey had never seen before, a side only tragedy could bring out.

"I…I need to get Caroline ready." Casey says quietly.

Kim helps Casey stand and says, "Don't worry Case. Owen has already gotten her dressed and I did her hair while you were in the shower. We just need to get you dressed then we will head to the church."

"Thank you." Casey replies letting Kim pull the black lace covered dress up on her shoulders. Kim zips the dress up and helps Casey into her heels. Afterwards she quickly puts Casey's jewelry on her and helps her out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Reaching the bottom, Casey sees her older brother Owen holding her little girl. Owen was three years older than Casey and shared similar features like red hair and fair skin. He had always looked out for her. She always felt safe with him around so now having him here was like a miracle; it helped her feel like she could absorb some of his strength to make it through the funeral.

"You ready to go?" he asked. Casey shrugged and answered, "No, but I don't really have a choice do I?"

* * *

A few hours later, Casey sat graveside in between Kim and Owen. Kim now held Caroline in her lap while Owen held Casey's hand tightly. The priest stood over John's coffin speaking but Casey couldn't process a single word. Nothing seemed to absorb.

All Casey could think about was meeting John for the first time when she and Kim had driven to the army base to visit Owen before he was sent to Iraq. Kim and Owen had been dating since for a couple of years, and in order to steal a little bit of alone time with Kim, Owen introduced Casey to John. Casey was immediately taken by John. They started dating while he was overseas and married soon after he returned home. He had survived so much in Iraq, but was still taken from her so early in their lives.

As the honor guards prepared the gun salute in honor of her husband, Caroline climbed into Casey's arms. Casey pulled the little girl close to her and kissed her head. She had to protect Caroline from this world.

Hearing the first volley of shots ring out in the quiet air Casey felt the reality of her life hit her, she was a widow. The second volley made her realize that she needed to draw every ounce of strength in her forward to care for her daughter. When the third volley of shots rang out Casey knew that she had to figure out how to put their lives back together again. As taps played, Casey allowed silent tears to fall down her cheeks.

* * *

**Christmas Eve…**

Owen sat on the living room floor in front of the Christmas tree assembling the toy baby crib. Casey was upstairs putting Caroline to bed and he and Kim were busy setting up the scene for Christmas morning. Looking up at his wife he quietly asked, "How do you think she is doing?"

"Well, she can feed and dress herself now and today she has completely cared for Caroline so I would say better." Kim answered hesitantly before adding, "I still think she should move back to the city with us Owen."

"I agree. She needs family." Owen says. Hearing footsteps on the stairs, Owen quickly adds, "Great here she comes you tell her."

Kim's face quickly changes to one of shock, "Me why me you are her brother," she whispers.

"She listens to you more. You are her best friend," he argues.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Casey frowns at the two people in front of her. They are trying to act casual. Rolling her eyes, she walks over to them. "Okay so who is going to tell me what you two are cooking up?"

"Owen." Kim states flatly with a smirk at her husband.

Glaring at his sneaky wife, Owen begins, "Casey, Kim and I think you should move back to New York City."

"Okay, why?" Casey asks.

Kim begins, "Casey, Owen and I can help you in the city. You need family right now and so does Caroline. We are family."

Quietly Casey replies, "But my job is here and I would have to sell the house. Where would we live there? What would I do?"

Owen laughs as he finishes the toy crib, "Casey, you are an ADA and Kim is an ADA in Manhattan, I am sure you can find a job. Plus you can live with us until you find a place."

"He's right Casey, you can live with us until you find a new place, and I can help you with a job. As a matter of a fact, one of the other ADA's needs a world of help in her unit. You would be perfect to help her." Kim responds happily.

Thinking over what Kim and Owen are offering Casey looks around. This move might be good for her and Caroline. She only moved here to make John happy anyway. She was raised in the city and had always wanted to move back.

Taking a breath she answers, "I would have to sell the house first and find a replacement for me. My office isn't big enough to lose me and be able to function. Anyway, tell me about this job."

Kim smiles at Owen then looks back at Casey. Quickly she begins to describe the job, "Well it would be working Sex Crimes, but you would be working with one of our best ADA's. It's not glamorous work, but Alex is very talented and has an extremely high conviction rate. She is easy to work with considering her need for help in her caseload. I have had to help her a few times when she was juggling too much and had a trial going on and she is really nice. She is actually Abbie's best friend."

"Well if you and Abbie like her she can't be too bad then." Casey states thinking the potential job over when a thought clicks in her head, "Wait a minute this is the same Alex that Serena was saying has slept with half of Manhattan, right?"

Owen bursts out laughing. Kim slaps her husband's shoulder, "She might get around a little, but it isn't as bad as Serena made it out to be. Plus, her sex life doesn't make her a bad person. Serena likes her too. She actually has been hanging out with us lately. You'd like her Casey if you got to know her."

"Alright, see what you can do." Casey concedes.

Kim smiles brightly, "Great, I will talk to Branch."

* * *

**Five Months Later…**

Casey's realtor told her time and time again houses sell faster when the school year nears its end. She didn't believe it, but here it was one month out and their house sold. Standing in the kitchen packing the last of the dishes she watched as Owen played with Caroline in the backyard. A year ago it would have been John playing with their daughter not Owen.

"So, I packed the last of the china, so once we are done in here all we have to do is wait for the movers to come tomorrow Case." Kim states walking back into the kitchen.

Casey sighs, "Caroline will not have a back yard anymore. Will she ever even learn to ride a bike Kim? Am I making the right decision?"

"Casey, she is going to have a billion parks to play in and a huge amazing city to explore as she grows. Plus, do you and I know how to ride a bike? Yes. So what kind of question is that? You, Owen and I grew up in the city and did we turn out weird? No." Kim says pulling Casey into hug, "Everything will be fine Casey."

"I know, I know. So Branch called yesterday. He wants me to start work on Tuesday." Casey states while walking outside onto the back porch and siting down.

"Good, getting into a routine will help the transition. Serena and Abbie's neighbor is a realtor and she said she would take us to see some places on Saturday if you feel up to it." Kim offers sitting next to Casey.

"That would be nice, thanks for all the help Kim."

Kim smiles, "You are family Casey, and you get special treatment from me."

"Mommy!" Caroline screams once she notices Casey has come outside. Soon the little redheaded girl is running towards her. Catching Caroline in her arms, Casey turns towards her brother who is now kissing his wife. Smiling Casey asks, "So when are you two going to have kids?"

"Never." Kim laughs as Owen scowls and replies, "Soon. Kimmy here is being mean."

"Call me Kimmy again and the answer really will be never if you get my gist sweetheart." Kim retorts with a glare.

"Okay, so eventually." Casey laughs.

"You three ladies ready for dinner?" Owen asks.

"Yes," Caroline shouts. Casey smiles before saying, "Alright then, let's go to dinner."

* * *

**Tuesday Morning…**

Standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, Casey questioned her suit choice. She had just changed her outfit for the fifth time and had run out of time to try again. Sighing as she resigned to wearing what she had on she headed towards the apartment door.

Today was her first day at work and she was beyond nervous. Owen had been nice enough to take Caroline to school today since he didn't go into the hospital until 12 today, while, Kim stayed long enough to give Casey a tough love speech before heading into court. Honestly, Casey was relieved that Kim liked to be super early for court. Her tough love speech was only making Casey twice as nervous.

Pulling her Lexus into the parking garage she parked in her assigned space and headed up to the elevators. Pressing the button to head to the floor Branches office was located she waited for the doors to close. While she waited she looked out into the garage long enough to see a strikingly beautiful blonde walk towards her from the far end.

She had gorgeous long blonde hair, and was dressed beautifully. Her legs were oh so long and she was sure enough of herself to wear heels despite her height. Casey continued to watch her as the blonde dug through her bag and pulled out a pair of black framed glasses. As the stunning blonde neared the elevator and locked eyes with Casey the doors started to close.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I love your reviews! They seriously get me writing so much faster. :)**

Alex Cabot looked up to see a beautiful redhead staring at her. She started to smile when she noticed the elevator doors begin to close. Quickly she calls out, "Wait hold the elevator." Suddenly, as if the redhead was lost in a train of thought she jumps into action and tries to stop the elevator.

Trying to run in her heels to catch the lift was proving futile, but finally the redhead thought fast enough to stick her hand in between the doors to cause the doors to reopen. Slowing down Alex enters the space with the redhead. Leaning against one wall Alex catches her breath before saying, "Thank you, I am running so late this morning and I can't take the stairs fast in these heels."

Casey watches the blonde. She is feeling quite inadequate standing next to her, and is mentally swearing that she is going to make Kim go shopping with her this weekend. Realizing that the other woman is staring intently at her obviously waiting for her to speak she says, "I am sorry. My mind is a jumbled mess this morning. My name is Casey Novak. I am the new ADA for Sex Crimes." Finishing she holds out her hand to shake the blondes.

The blonde smiles and takes her hand shaking it. Casey feels breathless suddenly touching this beautiful woman which instantly makes her feel sick at the same time. "Nice to finally meet you Casey, I have heard an awful lot about you," the blonde replies as the elevator reaches their floor.

Casey realizes the blonde is exiting the elevator and she still doesn't know who she is, how perplexing. "Casey, are you coming?" Alex replies with a smirk. She finds it fascinating how easily distracted the redhead is by the littlest of things.

Shaking her head clear Casey realizes that she is at Branch's floor. Frowning Casey wonders what has gotten into her and what keeps causing her to have these little mishaps in the presence of this blonde. Needing to redeem herself quickly, Casey follows the blonde since she is headed in the same direction as Casey. "Are you going to introduce yourself?" Casey asks.

The blonde stops and turns towards Casey thinking that 'maybe the Casey isn't the only one distracted.' Grinning she looks directly into Casey's eyes and says, "Do you want to know just yet or would you prefer to be shocked?"

"Excuse me?" Casey asks glancing at her watch and realizing she doesn't have time to waste.

Smiling again Alex holds out her hand again to Casey who perplexedly takes it and shakes it again, "Casey, I was trying to be funny. I am Alexandra Cabot."

Casey's eyes go wide and she nods her head understanding now. "So you are going to Branch's office as well, hence the shock part." Casey starts as she continues with the blonde down the hallway.

"Yes, sorry my mind seems to be a bit jumbled too." Alex admits.

Casey laughs, "I just need some coffee and I think I will be much better. I spent so much time this morning hating my clothes that I never got a chance to enjoy a cup."

Arriving at the DA's office, Alex quickly speaks to the receptionist and turns back to Casey, "Well maybe after our meeting we can go get some and get properly acquainted?"

"Sounds nice. Thank you." Casey replies taking a seat to wait on the district attorney.

* * *

The meeting with Branch went smoothly. He explained that Casey would help Alex on a few cases while she got her feet wet in Sex Crimes and once Alex felt confident that she could go it alone she would split the case load with Alex. Casey acknowledged that she understood and was free to leave with Alex.

Walking out of the office, Alex leads Casey back to the elevator and down a floor to show her where their offices are located. Casey enters her office and is immediately surprised. "This whole office is mine?" Casey asks. Alex nods yes as she leans against the doorframe and watches the redhead's amazement.

"It's so big, it makes my old office look like a broom closet," Casey says in amazement.

Alex laughs, "Yeah, well it is all luck of the draw around here. Usually once you settle in an office you don't want to leave it. Mine is a little smaller, but I wouldn't move even if I became DA."

"It's just wow, that is literally all I can say, wow." Casey chuckles.

Alex finds that she is surprised by how remarkable she finds Casey. Things that Alex would normally find silly about a person she finds intriguing in Casey. "So are you still up for the coffee before going to meet the squad?" Alex asks.

"Yeah, some coffee would be nice."

"Great, let's go. We can stop by my office on the way so I can drop off my bag and then I would be happy to drive…" Alex begins to offer but is cut off as Casey blurts out, "I'll drive." Alex nods remembering Casey's husband's accident feels the need to remedy the situation when she notices Casey begin to blush.

"Thank you Casey that would be really nice. That way I can write down some notes I have for the detectives before we reach the precinct." Alex replies. She inwardly smiles knowing that her notes are already complete, but at least the redhead feels comfortable again.

The two women quickly stop off at Alex's office and head to Casey's car. While driving they talk about work and open cases. Casey takes mental note of the fact that Alex isn't writing anything down for the detectives but she doesn't let it get to her. Instead, she remembers Kim's words that Alex is a really nice person and it makes her feel more at ease. Arriving at a little diner down from the precinct, Alex leads Casey inside and to a table while waving at the waitress who seems to know her. Casey smiles seeing how confident and at ease the blonde seems with everything.

"So I know you have a little girl, how is she handling the move to the city?" Alex questions. Casey instantly frowns at the question and Alex feels bad having asked it. Before Alex can say anything else the waitress arrives at the table and takes their coffee orders.

As she walks away Casey answers, "I guess she is handling the best she can. She's only three and will turn four in September but still everything seems to have affected her more than I would have imagined. She used to be very happy and outgoing, but after my husband died she seemed to withdraw into herself a little, and now with the move she seems even more shy and quiet. Although, it only seems to be that way around strangers, she does act normal around my family and me."

Alex quirks and eyebrow, "Do you have a lot of family in the city?"

Casey shakes her head no, before correcting, "No, my dad is in a home just outside the city, he has severe dementia, and my mom died a few years back, so it's just Owen, Kim, Caroline and me."

Nodding Alex says, "That's a lot to me. My dad died five years ago and my mom passed a little over a year ago. So it's just me and my Uncle Bill."

"I am sorry Alex," Casey says squeezing the blonde attorney's hand.

"I am sorry to Casey," Alex says returning the squeeze.

* * *

Casey arrives home that evening around 6pm with a very unhappy little redhead in tow. "Mommy, you worked to long!" Caroline bellowed at her mother as they entered her brother's apartment.

Seeing Kim, Caroline squeals in delight and runs and jumps in her aunt's lap. "Hey Care-bear, did you have a good day at school?" Kim asks the little girl.

Crossing her arms, Caroline stares angrily at Casey and replies, "No, I am angry."

Kim purses her lips as Casey sighs and falls into a nearby chair. Casey is spent and after the car ride home with the little angry one she feels the bottle of wine in the kitchen calling to her. Kicking off her heels next to the chair Casey props her feet up on the table.

Kim senses Casey's frustration. Brushing her hand through the little girl's messy hair Kim asks, "And why is that Caroline?"

"Mommy worked to long." Caroline repeats her earlier statement.

"Oh, I see Caroline." Kim said nodding as Casey sat up knowing where Kim was going with this. Kim replies, "Well Caroline, did you think that maybe Mommy was just as upset about working so late because she wanted to come home to play with you?"

Caroline quietly says, "No."

"I think maybe you should go give your Mommy kisses and hugs she needs them right now." Kim whispers to the little girl. Quickly Caroline hops off Kim's lap and jumps into Casey's arms. Feeling the little child bury her head into her shoulder, Casey mouths thank you to her sister-in-law. Kim nods and stands, "I am going to get dinner started."

"Alright," Casey replies looking into Caroline's eyes she says, "Why don't we go get a bath and get our pajamas on before dinner?"

"Okay Mommy." Caroline says brightly. Walking the little girl down the hall to their room Casey smiles at least Caroline doesn't hold grudges too long.

* * *

After getting Caroline to bed, Casey sits out on the couch with Kim enjoying a glass of wine. "Serena mentioned today that she and Abbie want to get together this weekend at least for dinner." Kim states. Casey nods taking the information in before responding.

Finally Casey says, "Yeah that's fine. We should invite Alex too."

"Ah, day one with Cabot went well I take it." Kim says laughing.

"Yeah, she was nice. We kind of had an awkward introduction, but I had a good time getting to know her today." Casey replies with a grin that Kim doesn't miss.

"Casey, do you like Alex." Kim states firmly.

"Didn't I just say I did?" Casey asks confused as she pours another glass of wine.

Kim shakes her head taking the bottle and pouring more for herself, "That's not what I mean Casey. I mean do you have feelings for her?"

Casey's jaw drops. "What no! Oh my God Kimberly, John hasn't been gone a full 6 months and you think I have feelings for my new superior? No!" Casey exclaims.

"Whoa, Case calm down. You just had this really big smile come across your face as you were talking about her. It's no big deal." Kim says trying to fix the problem.

"Well, it's a huge problem for me Kim. Forget I mentioned inviting her. I am going to bed." Casey replies walking into the kitchen, dumping her wine down the sink and putting her glass in the dishwasher.

Kim attempts to follow the angry redhead, "Casey, come on I am sorry. Please don't be mad at me."

Casey turns to face her friend, "Its fine Kim, I am just tired and need to get up early tomorrow to get Caroline to school before work. I will see you in the morning."

"Ok, night." Kim says not getting a response. As she sits back down on the couch she picks up her phone. She doesn't really know why she is doing what she is, she just feels like she should. Almost as if she is possessed or something she sends Serena a message.

_Please invite Cabot, if asked it was your idea. :)_

* * *

Lying in bed that night, Casey begins to wonder if Kim is right. Does she have feelings for Alex? The thought again makes her nauseous which she doesn't really understand. It's not like she doesn't like women, she was openly bisexual before meeting John. Then it sinks in its John. Thinking of him makes her tear up as she rolls over and faces their little girl. She wished she saw more of him in Caroline, but at least Caroline has his strikingly blue eyes.

Casey thinks Alex has striking blue eyes as well which only makes her cry harder.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I love your reviews, thank you so much! Oh, and I love this chapter…**

* * *

The next morning Alex found her mind wandering to the beautiful redhead repeatedly while she got ready for work. She thought about her so much that she stopped off at a Starbucks on the way to work to pick up two venti coffees, one for herself and one for Casey. Remembering how Casey fixed her coffee the day before at the diner she fixed one the coffees the same way and then headed to the office. Pulling into the garage she smiled when she saw the redhead's car.

A few minutes, later Alex found herself knocking on the redhead's door frame announcing her presence. Casey looked up from her desk and smiled, although Alex noticed the smile quickly faded when Casey realized it was her. That realization quickly had Alex feeling uncomfortable, a feeling she wasn't use to having around women.

"I picked up coffee this morning and grabbed you some too." Alex said offering the coffee to Casey.

Casey wanted to take the coffee, and was really moved by the blonde's generosity, but Kim's words from the night before rang through her head. "Thanks for the offer, but I am good," Casey answers looking back down to her work.

"Oh," Alex said a little dejectedly. "Well, what if I leave it with you for later," Alex says trying again.

"Alex, what is your deal, I don't want the coffee." Casey snaps and immediately regrets taking her frustration out on the innocent blonde.

"I don't know Casey, I am sorry. I didn't mean to bother you." Alex turns and walks out the door. Casey watches the blonde through the windows of her office and sees as Alex drops the coffee she offered her into the trash can. Closing her eyes Casey rests her head in her hands. She realizes Alex must have fixed the coffee for her, and Alex likes her coffee black. She sat there for a minute wondering, why was Alexandra Cabot so nice to her?

Feeling like an enormous ass, Casey stands and heads towards Alex's office. Passing the trashcan, she confirms her assessment on the state of the coffee as she hurries past. Reaching Alex's office she suddenly doesn't know what she is doing there, nonetheless what she is going to say.

Before she can find her words, Alex opens the door and comes face to face with Casey. "I'm sorry for being a bitch." Casey quickly says without thinking her words through. Alex laughs at the obviously distraught woman.

"Okay, but I murdered the coffee with the trashcan. So, sorry, you are out of luck if you changed your mind." Alex replies.

Casey smiles, "No, I didn't deserve it after my performance just a bit ago anyway. I just wanted to apologize. I was frustrated about something else and took it out on you."

"No worries Casey, I was coming to get you though, we are needed at the precinct."

"Okay, let me grab my briefcase and I will meet you at the elevators." Casey responds leaving the blonde in her office.

Alex watches Casey turn the corner. She was starting to realize she really liked the redhead, and in a much more intimate way than her usual one night stand manner. Casey seemed special and unique, like someone really worth knowing, and Alex really wanted to get to know her.

Meeting Casey at the elevators, Alex smiled noticing that she seemed a little nervous. "Would you like to drive again?" Alex asks Casey as they stand awkwardly at the elevators.

"Yes thank you," Casey replies. A minute ago everything seemed easy again with the blonde, but now it seemed difficult again.

The two rode the elevator in silence but as they climbed into the car Alex found her nerves making her unusually chatty. "So what were you frustrated about?" Alex asked immediately wanting to kick herself for such an intrusive question.

"My sister-in-law said something that upset me last night and then kept trying to fix the problem this morning by trying to re-ask the question." Casey answers hoping Alex won't pry any further.

Alex chuckles a little, "I always forget Kim's your sister-in-law, probably because you took the name Novak."

Casey is thankful for Alex's train of thought. "So why does that make you forget? Kim didn't take the name Hunt."

"I guess because I know Owen and changing your name just because you marry someone seems a little archaic to me," Alex mumbles feeling a little odd, "I hope that didn't come out offensive since you took your husband's last name." She really doesn't like how she is becoming a less than eloquent speaker around Casey. Alex has always prided herself in always knowing the right thing to say but right now she feels like she is making a constant idiot of herself.

"No, it's fine. Honestly, I took John's name to appease my nagging mother-in-law. I second your opinion of it being an archaic notion. However, now I am happy I did because of Caroline." Casey answers hoping to end that conversation as well before she begins crying.

The rest of the drive is spent in relative quiet. However, the precinct is anything but quiet. They are in need of two deals so Alex looks over one set of information while Casey looks over another. After about ten minutes they switch and ten minutes later agree of their terms before rejoining the squad. An hour and a half later they are headed out of the squad room when Alex hears Olivia calling her name.

Alex turns to see what the detective needs. "Hey Liv! What's wrong?" Alex asks while Casey waits near the elevator.

"I just wanted to say nice job in there. The new ADA seems to really know her stuff." Olivia says with a smile.

Alex looks towards Casey and grins, "Yeah, she really does, doesn't she. She has a way of surprising me at every corner."

"You like her!" Olivia whisper exclaims.

"No I don't hush, she might hear you!" Alex whispers back.

Olivia grins and shakes her head, "Yes you do. You can't lie to me Alex I am a cop remember!"

"Fine detective, maybe I do. Now drop it. She is newly widowed and I don't want to make her uncomfortable." Alex concedes.

"Wow, you really have serious feelings. Good for you Alex. I hope it eventually works out for you." Olivia says patting Alex on the shoulder and walking away. Watching Olivia return to her desk Alex doesn't really know what to think of the brunette's parting words. Shaking her head Alex thinks she might need to talk to Abbie later about all of these strange feelings.

As Alex joins Casey at the elevators the redhead asks, "What was that about?"

"You," Alex says nonchalantly with a smile.

"What? What about me?" Casey inquires.

The elevator arrives and they climb in and head down to the parking garage. "Olivia wanted to say that she thought you did really well in there and I agreed. That's all." Alex states.

"Oh okay. Hey, do you want to get an early lunch Alex?" Casey asks smiling brightly.

Alex loves how excited Casey seems and can't imagine enjoying lunch with anyone else. "Sure Case, I know a deli near the office we can eat at if you like salads, soup and sandwiches." Alex offers. Casey nods and replies, "Yeah, that sounds great," as they head to her Lexus.

* * *

**Saturday Evening…**

Casey stood in front of Kim's floor length mirror admiring herself in her sister-in-laws dress. The two had spent the whole morning and afternoon looking at apartments and not had time to go shopping. So first, she had nothing she wanted to wear tonight, and second she was falling into a rapid bad mood about not being able to find a single place she wanted to live. She was quickly beginning to regret her choice to move back to the city which was a huge change of heart for a mere six hour time frame.

"So how do you like it Casey? I think you look great." Kim says referring to the sleeveless black dress that she was wearing. In all honesty it was a pretty dress, rather flowy and had a nice v-cut neck line and ended at the knee, but Casey was really not feeling like going out.

"It's pretty Kim, but I really think I would rather stay in tonight." Casey admits.

Before Kim could answer, Owen entered the room shaking his head while saying, "Not a chance, you are going out."

"Excuse me? Who made you my keeper?" Casey questioned defensively.

Owen grinned, "Our parents providing me with a little sister made me your keeper. I am just looking out for you and right now you need to go out and have a fun night." Casey frowned at her brother and sat on the end of his bed to listen. "Casey come on you have spent the last five months grieving and doing everything to make sure Caroline is happy and well provided for, you of all people right now deserve to go out and have fun. So go and have some fun."

Casey took a deep breath, letting it out she said, "Fine, okay Kim I am ready, let's go."

Saying goodbye to Caroline after hearing all about the fun the little girl and Uncle Owen were going to have for the night made Casey feel much better. Owen was right Casey did deserve to have a little fun. It was just a hard pill for her to swallow sometimes. She loved her little girl and only wanted her to have the best life after surviving such tragedy so early on. It was one reason why she was so unhappy with all the apartments earlier in the day. She knew she would eventually find the right one though, and she would eventually learn to enjoy life again.

* * *

Arriving at the restaurant, they were immediately shown to a table for five. Abbie and Serena were already at the table in a heated discussion about a case they were working. Sitting at the table Kim immediately interjected, "Stop you two. I brought Casey out for a night of relaxing fun, not a night of hearing you two argue about a case, so kiss and make up already so we can have fun!"

Without further instruction Serena pulled Abbie in for a lip locking kiss. Smiling into the kiss after a few seconds Abbie says, "I think we need to talk about work more often around Greylek."

"Enough!" Kim states, throwing a balled up napkin at Abbie. The two women break apart still smiling. The whole scene made Casey feel like life could be normal again.

"Well, it's good to see old Red here out with us tonight, so here's to Casey for finally getting out!" Serena says holding up her mixed drink and taking a swig.

"Serena, we all need a drink to cheers someone." Abbie says in her Texan accent with a laugh.

Serena smiles and replies, "I know, but I was trying to break the ice a little Abb's."

Abbie makes and 'o' with her mouth and nods picking up her beer, "Then here's to Casey for joining our group for a night out."

"Thank you two. So there are five seats. Who else is joining us?" Casey asks.

Abbie answers, "Oh we invited," she pauses seeing the person of interest approach, "well here she is," Abbie finishes holding out her hand to reference the quickly oncoming Alex Cabot.

Seeing Alex, Casey's eyes go wide as she bites her bottom lip. Alex is dressed in a beautifully tailored orange dress that ends at the knee and is wearing her black glasses. Casey can't help but stare at the blonde's beauty which doesn't go unnoticed by the other occupants at the table. Kim sends Serena a knowing nod, while Abbie sends Alex a dirty look.

As Alex pulls out the chair to sit she notices how Casey is biting her lip and smiles at the redhead. Casey always has a way of going from so demanding and firm to equally vulnerable and Alex finds it as attractive as the redhead herself. "Casey," Alex begins, "I didn't know you were joining us."

Casey shakes her head clear and replies, "I didn't know you were joining us either Alex." As Casey finishes she shoots Kim a look that says she doesn't appreciate the surprise. Catching the look, Kim just smirks and starts talking with Serena.

Turning back to Alex and Abbie, Casey asks, "So what do you all usually do when you go out on Saturday nights?"

Abbie smiles and answers, "We eat dinner and drink."

Alex laughs, "And on really fun nights we end up at the karaoke bar down the road. Carmichael here likes to sing Garth Brooks songs to her blonde lady."

Casey laughs imagining a drunken Abbie serenading Serena. "Sounds lovely. What do you end up singing Alex?" Casey questions.

Abbie answers for the blonde in question, "She likes to serenade whatever poor unsuspecting women she is after for the night."

"Ouch Carmichael." Alex mutters as the waitress arrives and takes their drink and food orders.

The rest of dinner goes smoothly with everyone enjoying their drinks and food. After having their fill of the restaurant they decide to make the trip to the karaoke bar to show Casey what their fun was all about. Before making the trip, Casey, Kim and Serena stop by the bathroom leaving Abbie and Alex at the table.

"What the hell was your earlier statement about Abbie?" Alex questions clearly frustrated.

"I am a little tipsy. You'll have to clarify Cabot." Abbie replies.

"The one about how I only serenade my sex partner for the night." Alex states flatly.

"Yeah, well I have been watching how you have been eyeing Casey all night and you need to back off." Abbie snaps. Taking a breath to calm herself she continues, "Casey just lost her husband, she doesn't need to become another notch on your headboard. Plus she isn't a one night stand kind of girl Alex, she's the kind of girl you romance and take home to your parents."

"Okay, first off I know that. Second, I want to get to know her and I find her special and I respect the fact that she just lost her husband and is still grieving so you don't have to be so protective. Got it?" Alex declares with a frown at her best friend.

"Got it, but you better not hurt her." Abbie finishes.

"Good God Carmichael let me dumb it down for you alright. I don't have to be a whore, I choose to be a whore, there is a difference which is if I find someone I like I can be in a completely healthy relationship. I just haven't found anyone." Alex exclaims. Seeing Casey head towards the table, Alex adds in a whisper, "Until now."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Reviews = Awesome, and they let me know if you might have missed something or I might have not explained something well. So in case I dropped the ball, Abbie and Serena are dating and they were friends with Kim and Casey. Alex and Abbie have been best friends for a while and Alex hangs out with Kim, Serena and Abbie. Casey however, living somewhere in Upstate New York hadn't met Alex until moving back to the city she'd just heard stories. Ok, enjoy!**

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"Drinking, tipsy, and drunk take on a whole new meaning when mixed with karaoke." Casey says observing the crowd as she takes a seat at the table with her friends.

Wrapping her arm around Casey's shoulders the already slightly drunk Serena attempts to whisper, "Just wait till Abbie sings to me, it's so hot!"

"Okay, I a place the motion to cut Southerlyn off for the rest of the evening." Kim states while watching the sloppy blonde.

Alex knocks her fingers on the table and says, "Motion passed."

Abbie pointing a finger at Alex exclaims, "Who made you judge! I object you, should recuse yourself for personal conflict of interest with me."

"Your wallet made me the judge Carmichael, and when you don't wake up with a 300 dollar bar bill in the morning you will thank me." Alex states.

Abbie mumbles, "Fine," as she picks up the song list and attempts to read. Alex looks at Casey and smiles.

"So Alex, what are you going to sing?" Casey asks while trying to pass Serena off to Kim.

"I have a song in mind, but mine are always a surprise. Are you going to sing?" Alex asks as she stirs her dirty martini with the skewered olive in her drink.

"No idea. Honestly, I don't know if I will sing anything." Casey admits. Alex laughs and hands Casey her martini before saying, "Drink up then, Abbie and Kim won't let you leave until you do." Taking the martini she watches as Alex pulls the olive from the little sword with her teeth. Casey quickly takes a large sip of the martini trying to cool herself down from the sight and ease her guilt from finding Alex so attractive in the first place.

"So who is it tonight Alex?" Kim questions with a laugh.

"Yes, Al-ex dooo tell…"Serena stammers as she tries to take a sip of Kim's drink.

Finally Abbie picks her song and writes it down on a card, passing the card and book to Kim, she looks at Alex and begins, "Yeah Alex, who is the unsuspecting victim to your web?" She adds a wink to her friend letting her know that she is only playing the part, but their comments still embarrass her in front of Casey.

In a way Alex feels like she shouldn't let it bother her, but it does any way. She doesn't want Casey to see her as a womanizer, but it looks like there is no changing it now. Receiving the card from Casey she writes her song down and goes and hands it to the guy running the karaoke.

Casey can see that Alex is hurt by all her friends joking and she feels bad for her. While Alex is away, everyone starts wondering what Alex will sing tonight saying that it always has to do with another girl in the bar. Serena adds seriously, "Al-ex has a great vo-ice she could sing to meee any d-ay."

"Hey, and I don't?" Abbie exclaims as Kim and Casey laugh.

After a few songs Abbie's turn arrived marking the four capable women's turn to sing. Casey watched as Abbie ended up serenading Serena with If Tomorrow Never Comes by Garth Brooks, which was cute when Serena started to cry. Kim followed with You're so Vain by Carly Simon and rocked it. Then it was Casey's turn.

Casey nervously walked up to the stage. All her friends cheered her on excitedly and she very cautiously started to sing Taylor Swifts song We are Never Ever Getting Back Together. A few lines in Alex yelled, "Sing it Case! You got this!"

With Alex's encouragement Casey began to sing along full heartedly feeling as if she were Taylor Swift. She didn't know if it was Alex's martinis that helped her loosen up or the blonde's giant smile as she sang, but she was having a great time. As the song ended she headed off stage as Alex headed up. Passing Alex, Alex said, "You did great Casey."

Sitting back down at the table Casey was congratulated by her friends. Watching Alex start up on the stage their friends began to guess who Alex was after tonight. Watching the blonde approach the microphone Casey notice she had her clutch in her hand which made Casey think she was going to leave after singing.

"Alex really has the most beautiful voice I can't wait to hear her sing." Kim said with a smile to Casey.

Suddenly the background of Sarah McLachlan's Fallen began and Alex started to sing,

Heaven bent to take my hand  
And lead me through the fire  
Be the long awaited answer  
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best  
But somewhere along the way  
I got caught up in all there was to offer  
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent  
Love was raw and young  
We believed that we could change ourselves  
The past could be undone  
But we carry on our backs the burden  
Time always reveals  
In the lonely light of morning  
In the wound that would not heal  
It's the bitter taste of losing everything  
That I've held so dear.

I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bent to take my hand  
Nowhere left to turn  
I'm lost to those I thought were friends  
To everyone I know  
Oh they turn their heads embarrassed  
Pretend that they don't see  
But it's one missed step  
One slip before you know it  
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so...

Casey listened intently to the words as Alex sang them beautifully and flawlessly. Their friends all seemed shocked evidently the song was so un-Alex like. However, Casey thought that was the point to tell their friends to back off. The emotion filled in Alex as she sang the words was unmistakable like she felt a deep connection to every word. Even though it was a sad song when she finished the bar erupted in applause. When everyone settled back down Alex was gone.

Casey stood and started walking around looking for the blonde. Finally, she located her at the bar paying her tab. Casey takes a breath and asks, "Are you trying to sneak out?"

Alex turns and softly smiles, "Yeah it's been a long night."

"You sang beautifully." Casey says wishing Alex wouldn't leave.

"Thank you." Alex says as she signs her bill.

"You shouldn't let their teasing get to you Alex. They are drunk and don't know what they are saying." Casey blurts biting her lip right after not knowing if she should have said anything.

Alex nods, "I know, but it gets old sometimes. Thanks Casey." Alex pauses and touches Casey's arm before adding, "I will see you Monday." With that Alex leaves.

Casey returns to her table to find Serena and Abbie in the middle of a make out session and a very un-amused Kim waiting for her. "Oh my God there you are! I was beginning to wonder if you went home with Alex. Can we please go?" Kim begs.

Casey bangs her hand on the table quickly gaining the remaining three women's attention. "What the hell is wrong with you three? Drunk or not you all did nothing but tease Alex about her sex life the whole time we were here. Did you ever stop and think that you might be hurting her feelings?" Casey finished with a glare.

"Wow, if she uses that face in the courtroom she will make the defense piss themselves." Serena tries to whisper to Abbie.

"I think she is serious," Abbie nervously replies.

Kim starts, "Casey, we always tease her and normally she jokes about it herself. We just weren't realizing she wasn't in it tonight. We will apologize Monday." Abbie and Serena agreed and Casey nods.

Taking a cab home, Kim can tell Casey is super nervous. "Casey, everything will be okay we are almost home," Kim soothes. Casey nods while holding onto the door handle for dear life.

Trying to take her mind off of the drive Kim asks, "So why did you go on the defense for Alex tonight?"

Casey glares at Kim. She knows where the brunette is going with this statement. "She is a nice person Kimberly and you all were hurting her feelings. Did you not see the emotion behind her song?"

The cabbie pulled up to Kim's apartment building and Kim paid and motioned for Casey to get out. Walking into the building Kim replies, "Yet again I am sorry we hurt her feelings. Normally she makes the first joke and we go along with the banter. We all just missed that she didn't make the joke tonight. Like I said I will apologize. However, I did notice how close you and her seem to be…"

"Stop Kim, we are not having this discussion again." Casey groans as they start up the elevator.

Kim smirks, "We aren't discussing anything Casey, I was just observing is all."

* * *

**Monday Morning….**

Alex walked down the hall towards Casey's office. She had a funny feeling the redhead was directly responsible for her three friends coming into her office this morning to apologize separately. Honestly, she enjoyed having them apologiz even though she wasn't bothered by it anymore, it at least let her know they cared about her feelings. However, she also felt like she needed to let Casey know that she wasn't bothered so not to be upset with their friends.

Walking into Casey's office she laughs. Casey is sitting at her desk with her hands in her hair tugging lightly. She looks really stressed, but the expression on her face is so cute Alex couldn't help but laugh. "I am so sorry I am laughing at you. You are clearly stressed, but you look so cute right now," Alex laughs.

"Cute?" Casey questions with a raised eyebrow. Alex bites her lip realizing her choice of words. Now Casey laughs seeing the usually composed blonde look nervous.

"Anyway Cabot," Casey continues, "What do you need?"

"I came to say thank you for clearly sticking up for me Saturday, but you don't have to do that, I don't want you to put yourself out on my behalf." Alex says.

"Alex you were upset by their words and they needed to be more considerate of your feelings. If the situation was reversed I know you would do the same for me." Casey says.

Alex nods and says, "You are absolutely right I would do anything to help you."

Casey feels like Alex's statement means so much more but let's it go. "Can I help you with anything else?" She asks.

"Yes, you can tell me what is stressing you out." Alex replies sitting on Casey's couch.

Sighing and pinching between her eyes, Casey says, "I am just frustrated trying to find a place to live is all."

Alex laughs a little before saying, "Getting tired of your brother and ol'Kimmy?"

"You have no idea," Casey laughs, "They are so great and super helpful with Caroline, but I am so ready to have my old routine back. I just want a place to call home."

"What is it you are looking for exactly?" Alex asks.

Casey stands from her desk and walks over and sits on the opposite side of the couch. Sighing she says, "A two bedroom place, close to work and Caroline's school, close to a park since I can't have a yard anymore, not super sketchy, at a reasonable rate. You know the completely unobtainable in Manhattan at this time. I mean I can find stuff just not close to work, and I don't want to spend my entire evening after picking Caroline up battling traffic to get home just to put her to bed. It just sucks. I just need to settle I guess and hope something comes up next year." Casey lays her head on the back of the couch and rolls it to look at Alex. She chuckles a little and says, "You think I am completely crazy now don't you?"

Alex smiles brightly, "No, I think I have your perfect place."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I love this chapter too. Let me know what you all think! :)**

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"Pull up right here." Alex instructs Casey as she drives. Casey pulls up and parks the car looking up at an easily three story brownstone townhouse. Looking over at Alex she asks, "Are we going in there?"

"Yes, now come on we don't have all day." Alex says exiting Casey's car. Casey gets out and frowns again at the blonde. She isn't quite sure why Alex has brought her here when she so clearly cannot afford this place.

Reaching the top of the landing, Alex unlocks the main entrance and walks inside quickly turning off the alarm just inside the door. "Casey, you can come inside." Alex says laughing at the redhead who is still standing on the front landing.

Slowly entering the townhome, Casey walks through the foyer and down the hall passing the dining room with dining table and chairs to the eat in kitchen. Once inside the kitchen she sees French doors that lead outside to a stoned in garden area with a patio. Casey smiles thinking the back would be perfect for Caroline to play in and even have a tricycle to ride.

"Want to go upstairs first or down?" Alex asks. Casey's eyes go wide at the fact that there is a downstairs and an upstairs. They go down first and Alex shows Casey the living room then the family room which opens to the back courtyard as well. Going back upstairs past the main entry floor, they reach the second floor which is the master suite and one bedroom, the following floor is another two bedrooms. Casey is so overwhelmed by the amount of space, but also by how beautiful this home is in general. The paint is all fresh and very spa colored. Everything has been updated, it's just amazing, but Casey still doesn't understand why Alex would bring her here until she notices the doorframe on the bedroom across from the master bedroom. It is marking a child's growth and the name listed next to the heights and ages is Alex. Casey turns to Alex and asks "This is your home?"

"It was my home growing up. My mother lived here until she died. I didn't have the heart to sell it, so I've just been sitting on it for the last year." Alex says looking at her shoes.

Casey stands looking at the blonde in disbelief. Finally shaking her head to clear it, Casey says, "Alex, I couldn't even begin to afford to buy this place. It is gorgeous and amazing, but way out of my price range, I mean we are talking Neiman Marcus price range to Dollar Store kind of jump here."

Alex laughs at Casey's ridiculous comparison, before saying, "Casey I didn't intend for you to buy it, I just meant you and Caroline could live here if you'd like."

"Alex, I couldn't just live in your house. In no way shape or form would that be appropriate." Casey says firmly.

Moving to sit on the steps leading down to the foyer, Alex says, "Casey this house is just sitting here. I don't want to live here by myself, plus I already own my apartment. Furthermore, you said you want a place close to work and Caroline's school and this place is close to both. Then you said you wanted a park nearby and there is one down the block along with back courtyard. Plus, you wanted two bedrooms, well just don't use the 3rd floor and you will feel like there are only two. Not to mention, the rent doesn't get any better than free!"

"Not happening, Cabot. I refuse to take advantage of you." Casey says seriously sitting next to Alex.

"Fine, what if I charge you rent will you live here then?" Alex asks.

"Why are you so nice to me Alex?" Casey answers the question with a question.

Alex looks at her feet again. She keeps asking herself the same question and all she comes up with is she really likes Casey. It's an odd feeling. It's this enormous urge to help and take care of her and she wants to talk to her all the time. In a way she feels crazy, but she can't control this feeling it seems to control her.

Looking up into Casey's green eyes Alex says, "I don't know Casey. I just feel like you had a really shitty year so far and that you and Caroline deserve to have something really nice after all of that so here I am just trying to help. You name the number on rent and it's yours until you don't want it to be okay?"

Casey looks into Alex's amazing crystal blue eyes and says, "Okay Alex."

* * *

Arriving back in her office Casey begins to pace the floor. She doesn't understand why she agreed to live in Alex's childhood home. It was a ridiculously big place. Caroline and she in no way shape or form needed a place that big. Furthermore, Alex was being way too generous and that unnerved Casey.

Plus, what was it with Alex's crystal blue eyes that Casey found so amazingly captivating. Casey collapsed on the couch and propped her feet up one end. Looking into Alex's eyes on the stairs Casey wanted to lean in and kiss her. She didn't because that would be wrong in so many ways. She just couldn't it would be wrong to John.

"Hey," Kim suddenly said from the doorway startling Casey from her thoughts, "I came by earlier to see you but you assistant said you went to look at a house, did you find anything?"

Casey nodded and said, "Yeah, I guess I did."

Kim laughs a little, "Well, you don't sound too excited are you sure you did?"

"Did you ever go to Alex's mom's house?" Casey questioned.

Kim quirked an eyebrow at this statement before answering, "Umm, yeah I did once for the reception after her funeral why?"

Casey smiled faintly, "Alex offered for Caroline and me to live there, she wants us to rent it."

"Are you kidding me?"

"No," Casey says sitting up and allowing Kim to sit down. Taking a breath she continues, "It's very generous of her and I tried to say no, but she kept insisting and then it was like I couldn't say no. I looked into her eyes and I couldn't say no, no matter how much I wanted to I just couldn't."

"Good, you and Caroline deserve something good right now, and Alex is extremely generous, but also very level headed. If she didn't want you there she wouldn't have offered it to you Casey. Just enjoy it." Kim says.

Kim smiles, seeing how torn up Casey is about her feelings for Alex. She would like to ask her sister-in-law what else persuaded her to say yes, but she knows it would just upset her so she doesn't. She might just need to recruit extra help in getting Casey to go for Alex.

Despite the fact Alex use to sleep around, Kim knows that Alex had changed a lot since her mother's death. She also knows just how nice of a person Alex is and that is exactly what kind of person Casey needs in her life. Smiling Kim thinks her little plan from Saturday night might have worked perfectly to push these two together.

Standing Kim says, "Well you need to get back to work, we can talk more tonight Owen is on call so I am sure he will be sleeping at the hospital so we will have plenty of time to talk. That is if the little redheaded beauty goes to sleep on time."

Casey rolls her eyes at Kim and stands, "Ha-ha, okay see you tonight."

Walking out of Casey's office Kim head's right to Serena's and catches Abbie there as well. Closing the door after her, Kim turns to the two women and says, "Okay, Saturday night might have worked better than we planned."

"What do you mean?" Abbie says sitting in one of Serena's chairs.

Kim sits in the other chair and begins, "So Alex today offered for Casey to live in her mom's house."

"What?" Serena says shocked by this information.

"Doesn't that seem a little forward? We were just supposed to rile Alex up and cause Casey to come to her defense and realize she actually has feelings not have them move in together." Abbie replies.

Kim shakes her head, "No, they aren't going to live together. Alex offered for Casey to rent the house. I am telling you two that they are starting to realize that they have feelings for one another. Casey kept saying she wanted to say no to Alex, but just couldn't and didn't know why."

"Well, I know Alex has feelings for her, I can see it in her eyes every time she looks at Casey." Abbie says.

"We all can see it." Serena adds.

Smiling wide Kim says, "I am telling you guys it worked. Now we just need to help them along a little."

* * *

Walking into Kim and Owen's apartment that night Casey hears laughter coming from the kitchen. Caroline runs past Casey to go greet her aunt and uncle but quickly returns to Casey upset about something. Kneeling down to her distraught child Casey asks, "What's wrong sweetie?"

Caroline whispers, "There is someone with Aunt Kim." Casey nods and smiles as she runs her fingers through Caroline's hair. "I am sure it's okay sweetheart, let's go see which one of Aunt Kim's friends have joined us for dinner." Casey says cheerfully trying to calm Caroline's fears.

Entering the kitchen, Casey freezes upon seeing Alex and Kim cooking spaghetti. "Mommy?" Caroline questions sensing Casey's apprehension. Before Casey can say anything Kim and Alex turn around and notice the two new additions.

"Care-bear, when did you get home?" Kim asks walking over to pick the little girl up. Casey meanwhile is still speechless as she tries to wrap her head around why the blonde is standing in the kitchen. Kim walks towards Alex, "Caroline this is Mommy and Aunt Kim's friend Miss Alex, can you say hello?" Caroline instantly turns towards Casey and begs to go to her.

Casey walks over and takes Caroline in her arms, "It's okay sweetie, Mommy knows Miss Alex, she is really nice. She helped Mommy find us a new home today."

Alex just stands in the kitchen a little dumbfounded. She has never encountered a child that hasn't liked her so she doesn't exactly know what to do at this moment. Finally she decides to try talking to the little girl, "Hi Caroline. Your Aunt Kim tells me you love spaghetti and it's your favorite food. It's my favorite too."

Caroline looks at Alex but refuses to talk to her. In the end, Casey goes and sets the little girl up with some toys and a movie in the living room and returns to the kitchen. "Kim, I wish you'd given me a heads up about Alex joining us. I could have prepped her on the way here." Casey groans as she steals one of Owen's beers.

"If it's a problem Casey, I can leave." Alex offers.

Touching Alex's arm Casey apologizes, "Oh Alex I am sorry I didn't mean it like that. You are welcome to stay. It's just remember how I told you that Caroline isn't good around strangers since her dads death, that's just what this is."

Kim smiles seeing the exchange between the two women, "I am going to go check on her. Casey you relax for a minute and watch the sauce, will you?"

"Yeah, I got it."

Kim exits the kitchen leaving Casey and Alex to talk. "So you told the little one about the house, I am guessing that means you really are going to take me up on it then." Alex says with a grin leaning against the counter.

Casey frowns and shakes her head thinking she walked right into that one. "I guess I am," she replies taking a large sip of the cold beer.

Alex claps her hands, "Great! What is Caroline's favorite color?"

"Why?" Casey questions.

"Well, I thought I could have her room painted for you. That is if you would like it painted a different color. I am sorry is that wrong of me to offer, I just thought it would be nice and I don't know…" Alex is suddenly cut off by Casey's lips pressed to hers in a chaste kiss which Casey quickly pulls back from.

"Oh my God, Alex I am so sorry." Casey says as she is quickly turning bright red. She shuts her eyes and prays that what just happened was in her head and not for real but when she opens them again Alex is still looking at her with a shocked expression on her face with her finger over her lips.

Moving her hand away from her mouth Alex says, "You kissed me."

"I am really sorry."

"Why? Why are you sorry?" Alex asks.

Casey shakes her head and tries to explain, "You were rambling and I use to stop John from rambling with a kiss. It was basically an autopilot response I guess. I am sorry. It will never happen again."

Alex just stares at the redhead she really isn't sure what to say now. Finally she settles and asks again, "What's Caroline's favorite color?"

"Purple," Casey answers quietly.

"Do you want to move in this weekend?" Alex asks picking up her bag.

Casey frowns realizing Alex is going to leave. Sighing Casey replies, "Sure," as she lays her head in her hands.

"Great," Alex says, "I am going to go Casey, but not because you kissed me. I am going to go, because I want to kiss you again." Looking up Casey watches in shock as the blonde leaves.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you for your continued awesome reviews! Enjoy! Working hard to get the next chapter out tonight as well!**

Alex stepped into the elevator. The second the doors shut she leaned against the back wall of the lift and touched her lips. Casey Novak kissed her.

Her lips were so soft and for the few seconds the kiss lasted Alex felt this weird butterfly in the stomach sensation. When Casey started to pull away Alex instantly wanted to pull her back flush against her and kiss her again, but she didn't. She didn't because she knew Casey didn't mean to kiss her and she didn't want to upset her any further.

Alex couldn't exactly understand why she acted the way she did after the kiss. Why did she leave Casey standing alone in the kitchen? And why on earth did she tell her she was leaving because she wanted to kiss her again?

It was true. Casey was fast becoming all Alex could think about, but telling Casey that didn't seem fair to the redhead. She was clearly grieving still and Alex respected that and wanted Casey to know she did.

Stepping out of the elevator and into the garage she walked to her car. As she exited the garage she called one of the few people that understood her best. It only took a few rings for the brunette to answer.

"Howdy" Abbie answered.

"She kissed me!" Alex instantly exclaims as she drives towards home.

Abbie hesitates while thinking for a second, "Who Kim?"

"No Abbie, Casey. Casey kissed me." Alex sighed wondering how Abbie missed that one.

Abbie quickly throws a pillow at Serena to get her attention before replying, "Casey...Kissed...You...Alex?"

"Yes, why are you talking like that?" Alex questions as she nears her apartment.

"No reason, so what did you do?" Abbie asks as Serena immediately texts Kim - _Casey kissed Alex?_

"I left." Alex sighs.

"Why...did...you...leave?" Abbie asks.

"Seriously, why the hell are you talking like that? Are you having sex or something?" Alex questions.

"No, answer the question." Abbie replies reading Serena's incoming message from Kim - _What when? Is that why she left? Casey seems upset, get the dirt!_

"She kissed me and regretted it. I didn't and wanted to kiss her again so I left, but I told her that I was leaving because I wanted to kiss her. Oh my God I so screwed up Abbie!" Alex finishes as she parks her car.

Abbie watched as Serena quickly typed to Kim what happened before answering, "Alex you didn't screw up. Just give her time and keep doing thoughtful things for her she will come around. I am sure she is upset right now, but she will get over it."

"Thanks Abbie. I really needed an Abbie pep talk right now. By the way, Serena, please do not tell Kim she will ask Casey about it." Alex said as she climbed out of her car.

"Hey! How did you know I was here?" Serena asks.

Alex laughs, "Abbie only talks like a weirdo when she is trying to tell you what I am saying covertly. When she stopped I knew she put the phone on speaker. You two are way too predictable. I am about to get on the elevator I will talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay we love you bye!" Serena yells in the phone before hanging up.

* * *

Kim walks back up the hallway from putting her niece to bed. Her sister-in-law has been a mess since Alex abruptly left. Kim, now thanks to Abbie and Serena, knew what happened in the kitchen after she left to check on Caroline. Although, in no way shape or form could Kim tell Casey she knew.

Walking into the living room she sees Casey sitting on one end of the couch with another one of Owen's beers in hand. Sitting next to Casey Kim asks, "So do you want to tell me now what happened after I left?"

Casey swallows hard and looks over at Kim. She knows she has to say something, she just doesn't know how exactly to say it. Finally she takes a deep breath and dives in, "I kissed her."

Kim's eyes go wide as she thinks that happened a lot quicker than she expected it too. "Oh my God Casey that's it? Then why are you acting so upset?" Kim asks.

"What?" Casey asks confused before realizing Kim doesn't see a problem with her moving on. Casey hangs her head and continues, "Kim my husband just died. Do you understand how disrespectful that would be to his memory to jump right back into a relationship with another person? He deserves better than that, his memory deserves better than that."

"Casey, John wouldn't want you to pass up someone special, especially if you really like that person. Alex is a really nice person and she really, really likes you Casey. Plus, as much as you might deny it, you really, really like her. All I am saying is don't run from something just because you think John wouldn't like it. John would want you to be happy, and I know that is the truth, because that is all he ever wanted for you."

Laying her against Kim's shoulder, Casey replies, "You are probably right Kim, but as much as I try I can't stop feeling this way. I do like Alex a lot, but I can't do it. I feel like I am cheating or something."

"I understand Casey. Just promise me you will give yourself a little time, and that you won't push Alex away immediately. I seriously think she would make you really happy." Kim says softly.

"Thanks Kim."

Kim smiles at her sister-in-law and says, "No problem Case."

* * *

A few hours later, Alex lay in bed thinking about Casey. Finally she decided to bite the bullet. Grabbing her cellphone she typed Casey a text _\- I am sorry for leaving earlier. If I bring you a coffee tomorrow will you drink it?_

A few seconds later Alex receives Casey reply - _If I don't will you murder it too?_

Smiling Alex responds – _Yes :)_

Immediately Casey answers - _Then yes I will drink it. I can't have innocent coffees dying for me. ;)_

Alex laughs and texts back- _Ok, see you in the a.m._

Casey smiles reading Alex's text and ends the messaging with - _k, and I am sorry too._

Casey felt horrible for her actions. At least it didn't seem to hurt her and Alex in the end. Alex was an amazing person. Sadly though, the thought of being with another person romantically caused Casey to hurt in a way she never knew possible.

Kissing Alex earlier was amazing, but the horrible pain in her chest that followed was unbearable. It didn't make sense logically. John would want her to move on, but she just couldn't. It wasn't right at least it didn't feel right.

* * *

The next morning as Casey sat at her desk she saw Alex walk down the hallway towards her office with two coffees in hand. Seeing Alex come her way she smiled brightly. Standing in the doorway Alex smiled and said, "Would you like a coffee Mrs. Novak?"

"Every second of every day." Casey replied with the same bright smile.

Handing Casey the cup she says, "Well then as promised one venti Starbucks coffee fixed just the way you like it."

"Thank you," Casey says taking the coffee from Alex.

"No problem, it was the least I could do," Alex says taking a seat across from Casey. As she crosses her long legs Casey feels her heart rate speed up. Casey can't help but follow the length of Alex's legs with her eyes. Suddenly realizing that she is clearly staring Casey looks up to see Alex smiling at her.

Feeling that familiar pang of guilt stab in her chest Casey frowns at Alex. "Can I help you with anything else right now Alex," Casey snaps. She feels bad about being rude to Alex, but she needs to put some distance between them.

Alex looks a little hurt and taken off guard with Casey's comment. Trying to find her words or at least words that won't make her seem like a love sick fool Alex stands. "Uh no Casey, I thought we could just talk for a minute, but I can leave." Alex says walking to the door. Stopping at the doorframe she adds, "Enjoy the coffee Casey."

Throughout the rest of the day Alex only spoke with Casey when it was work related. She hated it, but clearly the redhead wanted her space even if she did occasionally send mixed signals. At 5pm Alex got a call from the precinct they needed a deal. Not wanting to bother Casey when she would be leaving to pick up Caroline, Alex went alone.

Standing in the precinct waiting for the defendant's attorney to arrive Alex starts flipping through purple paint samples she picked up on her lunch break. She wanted to ask Casey tomorrow which one she thought Caroline would like the best, but she also wanted to respect the space Casey wanted right now. Knowing Casey's schedule Alex realizes who she should call. Walking down the hallway with a smile on her face Alex calls Owen.

"Dr. Hunt," Owen says answering his cell.

"Owen, its Alex," the blonde replied.

"Oh hey Alex, what can I help you with?" Owen asks.

Alex takes a breath and says, "I know you take Caroline to school Wednesday mornings currently and I wanted to see if I could meet up with you on the way. I wanted to have her bedroom painted for her and Casey said her favorite color was purple but there are thousands of samples. I thought I could narrow the choices down and let her pick. I would be willing to buy you both breakfast."

"Wow Alex that is very kind of you. I would be happy to meet up with you. Can I call you when I leave the apartment in the morning?" Owen asks.

Alex smiles, "Yes that would be great. Thank you Owen."

Ending the call Alex felt good about helping Casey and doing something nice and special for Caroline in the meantime. Now all she had to do was finish arranging her surprises for Casey and Caroline. She wanted to get them something small but thoughtful for their big moving day. Alex just hoped Casey would be comfortable with getting a little gift from her.

* * *

Casey sat in her office Friday morning staring at her desk. For the last two mornings she had arrived to work to find a cup of coffee waiting on her desk however there was no coffee this morning. She knew she had been a little rough Tuesday morning and it was quite well apparent that Alex was giving her some space the last two days, which she greatly appreciated, but right now she really wanted Alex to walk in her office with coffee in hand just so she knew everything was okay.

She wanted to be friends with Alex, and if she was really honest with herself she wanted to be more than friends. Laying her head on the desk Casey was fully starting to believe that the confusion and guilt was really beginning to eat away at her. What if she had run Alex off, what would that mean for her?

"Taking a nap?"

Casey looks up to see Alex. Alex smiles and continues, "I can see that you clearly need your coffee earlier than 9am." Walking over to pass Casey the coffee Alex says, "Sorry I got hung up with a few things this morning."

Casey smiles and takes the coffee, "Thank you."

"No problem," Alex says walking back towards the door she turns back and says, "Case, I have some things to attend to this afternoon so I am going to head out at 2pm, but if you get a call for anything starting at 4:30 call me and I will take it so you can get home to Caroline."

"Alex, you don't have to do that if I need to stay later I will." Casey replies a little bothered.

"Casey, we are a team. I help you, you help me. You are helping me from 2pm – 5pm." Alex replies smiling and walking away.

Casey sighed, leaning back in her seat as she watched Alex walk away through her windows. Alex had a way of being sexy and not even trying. As fast as the thought entered her head so did the pang of guilt.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Ok, another chapter I am happy with. Hope you like it too! Let me know what you think :)**

* * *

**Saturday Morning…**

Casey drove towards the townhouse, her new home. She was moving into today and really excited about the fact that she and Caroline would have a home of their own now. However, despite how excited she was she was nervous about seeing Alex today.

Ever since the morning before when Alex showed up late with the coffee the blonde had been on Casey's mind. She would go back and forth about wanting to try with Alex and then feeling way to guilty. However, Kim's words kept running through her mind that John would want her to be happy. Casey just wished she knew that was how John really felt. It might make it easier for her.

Turning down her new street Casey became increasingly anxious. She couldn't wait to move in and she couldn't wait to see Alex. It was as if the adrenaline surge she was suddenly having was erasing any pangs of guilt. Pulling into her parking spot outside the townhouse Casey sees Alex step out of the house.

"Hey!" Alex says seeing the redhead step out of her car. She had barely spoken to Casey since that night at Kim and Owen's, the only times had been work or coffee related and she really hoped today would change that for them.

"Hi," Casey said hesitantly. Looking at Alex, Casey was amazed the blonde could even make jeans and a tee shirt look sexy. Kim was right; she did really like the blonde. Maybe she should give her a chance.

Walking up the steps to where Alex is waiting Casey looks into Alex's eyes. She is wearing her contacts today in a way it makes her eyes look darker. Alex smiles at the redhead and asks, "So where is Caroline?"

"Oh, Kim is staying with her this morning while Owen gets the movers and sets-up all the furniture, then he will switch off with Kim this afternoon so she can help me unpack." Casey answers while looking around the street from the stoop. She doesn't want to look Alex in the eyes for too long because she is afraid of what she might do.

"Alright, well I guess I will have to show you my surprise for her instead." Alex says with a sigh.

Casey instantly looks at the blonde with a raised eyebrow, "Surprise?"

Alex opens the door for Casey and leads her through, "Don't worry I got you a surprise too."

Walking into the foyer and down the main hall Alex says, "I hope you don't mind, I left the dining table and service pieces. I honestly do not have room for them in my place and I would hate to stick them in storage. If you really have something you would like to use here instead let me know and I will try to arrange something today."

Casey faintly smiles, "No it's fine. My table was more relaxed anyway. I thought maybe I would use it in the family room off the French doors that open to the courtyard. So if we cookout we can eat down there kind of thing."

Alex laughs, "We had a table down there for that same reason. So let's go into the kitchen first and you can see your surprise."

Casey reluctantly follows the blonde to the kitchen. Alex proudly stops near the sink and holds out a hand motioning to a new state of the art coffee maker. Smiling the blonde says, "Every new home needs a new coffee maker and I knew you would need coffee this morning, sugar is here in this cabinet and the cream is in the fridge. Oh, and I got you this as well." She proudly holds up a cup that says 'Super-Mom' on it.

Casey can't help but smile and say, "Thank you Alex. That was really sweet of you."

Alex smiles brightly pleased that Casey liked her surprise. "Okay, so come over here and you can see one surprise I got for Caroline." Alex says taking Casey's hand and leading her to the window. Outside sitting in the courtyard is a little playhouse and a new tricycle. Before Casey can say anything Alex says, "I asked Kim if she had tricycle and Kim said no, there is a helmet downstairs for her as well. Owen said she like the Little Mermaid so the helmet has Ariel on it. The guy at the toy store helped me with the correct sizes and stuff. I wanted to make sure she was safe. If she doesn't like something just let me know, I will happily take it back."

Casey smiles at Alex. "Thank you Alex, you really did not have to do all of this." Casey replies softly.

Alex takes Casey's hand and gives it a small squeeze, "Casey you and Caroline, I-I want you two to enjoy living here. I am sorry if it seems like I am trying to buy Caroline's approval. I might be just a little."

Casey laughs at Alex's brutal honesty and says, "I like your honesty counselor."

"As an officer of the court I am required to be honest. Come upstairs, there is one more surprise for Caroline." Alex replies taking Casey's hand and leading her upstairs. As they near the top of the stairs Alex says, "I hope this wasn't over stepping. You don't even have to tell Caroline I did this, say you did or Kim and Owen. By the way, I cleared this with Owen."

"Alex," Casey starts stopping Alex before the door, "what did you do?"

Without answering Alex opens the bedroom door and Casey sees why Alex was rambling again. The room is beautifully decorated. The walls were a lavender and the ceiling had clouds painted on it now. There was a white four poster twin bed with a beautiful purple medallion quilt and a matching white dresser with a mirror over it. From the ceiling hung a sweet little chandelier, and there was also a matching rug and a cream colored upholstered chair in the corner of the room with a little cream play table and chairs.

"Casey if I over stepped here I am sorry, and I can have men here to remove all of this stuff immediately. I asked Owen and Kim if Caroline needed anything and they said you were going to buy some new furniture and well I had all of this sitting in storage, well minus the bedding that I bought. The chair is a rocker. I am sorry, you hate it don't you. I will call someone right now." Alex rambles as she turns to leave.

Casey grabs Alex's wrist and turns her to look in her eyes. They stand there in the doorway for a minute just staring into each other's eyes. Finally, Casey speaks, "It's beautiful Alex, but why did you do all of this?"

"It felt nice to do something really special for such a sweet little girl. She may not talk to me and I might scare her to death by just being in the same room as her, but seeing her with you, Kim and Owen she is so sweet." Alex sighs then added, "The furniture was mine as a child, I don't have kids so some child should get use of it and I would be more than happy for that child to be Caroline."

Casey continues to stare into Alex's crystal blue eyes. There is something so magical about them, so unlike John's. Taking a breath she asks, "When have you seen Owen with Caroline?"

Alex sheepishly smiles, "Wednesday morning when he was taking her to school he met me for breakfast and coffee. I wanted to make sure she loved the color." Alex waves her hand towards the wall and then adds, "you weren't talking to me it was the best I could do at the time."

"I would have talked to you." Casey says stepping closer to the blonde.

Alex softly smiles and replies "I didn't want to push you Casey."

Starring deep into the blonde eyes Casey whispers, "You have the most unbelievable blue eyes I have ever seen."

"I still want to kiss you Casey." Alex whispers realizing how intoxicatingly close the redheads lips are to hers.

"Then do." Casey whispers back. Alex places one hand on the small of Casey's back and runs the other up to cup the side of her face. As she leans into capture Casey's lips in hers she hears Owen yell, "Hello! Casey?" as he makes his way up the stairs.

Casey steps out of Alex's embrace. Blushing Casey yells to Owen, "Hey, we are in here!" Looking back at Alex, Casey says, "I love the room Alex, thank you." Taking a breath while she considers her words she adds, "You should stay, then this afternoon we can show Caroline everything together if you like."

"Thank you Casey, but I think it might be better for Caroline to see her new home without me here. She really doesn't seem fond of me and I don't want to scare her the first time she sees her home." Alex admits with a frown.

Casey nods and quickly says as she notices Owen approaching, "Yeah, we really need to work on that Alex."

"Hey," Owen says as he walks into the little girl's room, "Wow Alex, you really out did yourself this is amazing."

Alex blushes and thanks him. Owen turns back to Casey, "We are ready to bring in the furniture."

"Okay, let's go!" Casey says as Alex and she follow Owen downstairs.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Owen and Casey sat in the back courtyard as Caroline rode circles around them. Kim had been called into work to try and cut a deal and left Owen and Casey in charge of unpacking, which quickly turned into drinking a beer and relaxing while they enjoyed time playing outside with Caroline. Filming another video on her phone of the little girl zooming past Casey sent it to Alex. She was making a point to send these little clips of video to the blonde to show her how much Caroline loved all the surprises especially her new 'princess' room as she called it.

"I can tell you really like her." Owen states as he takes a sip of his drink.

Casey raises an eyebrow and asks, "Oh really, how's that?"

"You smile every time you talk about her, and when you send her messages on your phone you get a goofy grin. Ask her out on a date Casey, or just stop pushing her away. I am sure she would ask you out in a heartbeat." Owen says with a smile.

"It's not that easy Owen."

"Yeah it is Casey. John would not want you to sit and miss out on someone as great as Alex. I know this for a fact Casey. We wrote our letters home together. I wish we hadn't burned them when we came back from the sandbox because then I could give you yours and you would see for a fact. At least I am here and can tell you he didn't want you to waste your life in grief." Shaking his head he adds, "Alex is amazing Casey. Look at all she did for Caroline, just because she wanted her to be happy. She even bought her a helmet for a tricycle because she was concerned about Caroline's safety. It doesn't get much better than that Case."

Casey smiles seeing Alex's return text – _Oh my, she's a speed demon! What did I create!_

"See!" Owen exclaims pointing at Casey, "You got a message from her didn't you."

Casey smirks, "Maybe…"

"You can't lie to me Casey, I know you did. Why don't you call her and have her come over and help you unpack while I take little one over there to go get dinner for all of us." Owen suggests.

Casey frowns, "I tried to get her to stay earlier, but she didn't want to upset Caroline on her first day here."

"Well, then why don't you call her why I go get dinner with Care-bear."

"Okay, I will." Casey says following Owen inside as he scoops Caroline up in his arms.

Waving goodbye to them, Casey shuts the door and calls Alex. A few rings later Alex answers, "You have been texting me for the last thirty minutes and now you are calling me. Is everything okay? This is a huge change for you."

Sitting in a chair in the kitchen Casey looks out to the courtyard. Smiling she says, "I think I am okay, tired but okay. I just missed talking to you. I wish you had stayed."

"Me too." Alex admits.

"Want to come eat dinner with us? I will share my Chinese with you." Casey asks biting her lip.

Alex laughs, "Sounds tempting, but what about Caroline?"

Casey sighs, "She is never going to get use to you Alex if you don't come around her so come over please."

Alex chuckles, "Sure, on one condition."

"What's that?"

"You let me help you unpack." Alex answers.

"Deal, see you in thirty?" Casey asks.

"See you then Casey." Alex says hanging up. Hopefully her hard work pays off. After this morning Alex thinks she is falling in love with Casey Novak.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Seriously reading your reviews make me want to stay up all night and write! Thank you! Only one chapter tonight, I need sleep. :) Enjoy!**

Ringing the doorbell of her childhood home Alex was suddenly nervous. She'd stopped at the florist down the road and picked up a little child's size arrangement for Caroline. It was made up of five colorful daisies. She really hoped the little girl liked it.

Alex wasn't use to children not liking her. It was one thing she'd never had a problem with before and it was one element that she found very useful working in Special Victims, so Caroline being adamantly against her was throwing her off kilter. For the sake of whatever she and Casey were trying to develop she hoped she could overcome the barrier with Caroline soon.

Answering the door, Casey finds Alex standing there with a small tea sized vase of daisies. A smile falls across Alex's face as she sees the redhead. "I brought these for Caroline," Alex says with a smile.

"Aw, that is sweet Alex. She an Owen should be back in a little bit with dinner." Casey says inviting Alex into the house. Walking through the front hall Casey smirks at Alex and states, "You know if I didn't know better I might think you are trying to win her heart."

Following Casey into the kitchen, Alex softly says, "Well, what can I say? I always wanted a little girl to spoil and you just so happen to have one. Plus she is an almost identical copy to the redhead who seems to have stolen my heart..."

Alex sets the flowers down on the island and turns to face Casey. Casey smiles and replies, "So who is this redhead that stole your heart?"

"Oh, she is wonderful. I think you might like her, although, she has this awful problem with kissing." Alex laughs.

Casey frowns, "And what would that problem be?"

"I can't kiss her when I want to..." Alex whispers as Casey approaches her. Casey smiles as she takes the hemline of Alex's shirt in her fingers and slowly pulls Alex to her. As she closes the distance between her and Alex, Casey whispers, "Let me fix that."

Slowly Casey presses her lips to Alex's again. At first the kiss begins as a series of small chaste kisses, just enjoying the soft feel of each other's lips, although soon desire grows and the kiss begins to deepen. Alex places a hand at the small of Casey's back pulling her closer as Casey takes Alex's bottom lip between hers. It isn't long before she is lightly running her tongue against the blondes lip asking for entrance with her request being granted.

Casey is unaware of how long Alex and her have been kissing but by the time she hears Owen announcing that he and Caroline are home from the back hallway, her hands are tangled in Alex's hair and she is now pressed against the counter. Breaking the kiss quickly, she and Alex try to regain control of their breathing. By the time her daughter and brother enter the kitchen they have been able to achieve some composure.

"Mommy!" Caroline yells as she runs into the kitchen and into her mother's arms. "Uncle Owen got me cookies."

"He did? Isn't that special." Casey says smiling and looking at Owen with a gaze that says she doesn't approve.

Owen holds up his hands in surrender and says, "Don't blame me she gave me the face."

"The face?" Alex questions.

Casey laughs and says, "Caroline show Miss Alex the face." Caroline looks at Alex and back to Casey and says, "No."

"Aw, please Care-bear for Mommy." Casey begs.

Caroline furrows her brow and sternly says, "No put me down Mommy."

Casey does and Caroline runs upstairs. Owen shrugs his shoulders as he hands Alex the food. "Why don't you all unpack and I will go check on her. Set a place for Kim, she should be back any minute." Owen says as he leaves Casey and Alex in the kitchen.

"I am sorry Casey. I hope I didn't upset her too much." Alex says quietly.

Casey grabs some placemats and napkins and hands them to Alex. "Alex, she just has to get use to you being around. She will get over it once she realizes you are here to stay." Casey says pulling plates out of a cabinet and walking to the breakfast table to help Alex.

Alex pauses setting out the napkins and looks at Casey. "So am I here to stay Casey?" she asks with a wide grin.

Casey flushes and begins to stutter, "I-I don't know Alex."

"What do you know Casey? I don't mean to push, but you keep kissing me and that last kiss was…well let's just say that if Owen hadn't come back who knows where we would be right now." Alex says in a loud whisper not wanting anyone other than Casey to hear her.

"Alex drop it." Casey snaps.

Frowning Alex agrees as the front door opens and Kim walks in calling out, "Hi family!"

Walking into the kitchen Kim can sense the tension. Trying to break the ice she says, "Hey Alex, I didn't know you would be joining us for dinner."

"Neither did I," Alex replies, "I am beginning to wonder if it was a bit of a mistake," Alex adds looking Casey in the eye before adding, "I seem to upset poor little Caroline."

Casey understands what Alex really means. As Kim and Alex talk about Caroline and her ability to bond with people since John's death, Casey thinks about what it is that keeps causing her to go so hot and cold with Alex. She also wonders what on earth compelled her to kiss Alex like that just a little while ago.

Casey doesn't necessarily regret the kiss. As a matter of a fact she enjoyed it quite a bit, she just still feels guilty. It's her guilt that upset her when Alex said if Owen hadn't come home that kiss probably would have turned into way more. In truth Alex was right and maybe that is what caused her to snap at Alex. As much as Casey might be starting to feel okay with the idea of dating Alex she doesn't know if she would be comfortable being intimate with her.

"Casey," Alex says touching Casey's arm, "Are you okay."

"Yeah, why?" Casey answers realizing Owen and Caroline have rejoined them in the kitchen. Everyone is staring at her so now she wonders how long they have been trying to get her attention.

Alex smiles, "You just kind of zoned out there for a minute. Are you ready to eat?"

Casey nodded as they all sat at the table. Dinner went relatively smooth with the exception of Caroline wanting nothing to do with Alex. After dinner Casey put Caroline to bed while Owen cleaned and Kim and Alex knocked out some unpacking. By the time Casey was finished with Caroline she herself felt very tired and ready for bed. Everyone agreed that they could continue unpacking tomorrow knowing very well that it would probably be a week before everything was finished.

Owen and Kim left first, allowing Casey a private moment with Alex. Standing in the doorway, Casey looks at the floor she wants to apologize for snapping at Alex earlier she just doesn't know what exactly to say or how to say it. Finally taking a breath Casey says, "I am sorry I snapped at you earlier Alex. You had every right to ask me what you did. The answer to your question is I do like you Alex and I want to spend time with you in more than a just friends kind of way, but I just feel bad about it at times, like I am hurting John or something. I am sorry Alex it's not fair to you."

Lifting Casey's chin up so that she can look into her eyes, Alex says, "Casey I am more than happy to go at whatever speed you want or need to go at to be comfortable. You don't need to feel bad about needing space occasionally from me all you have to do is ask. Right now I would be more than happy to cook dinner with you and Caroline, or take you out to a nice dinner alone. I am happy to just be with you and have the chance to be with you. Why don't you just let me show you that and then when you are comfortable you tell me, and we can decide what we want to do from there. Does that sound okay?"

"Yeah it does, but can I still kiss you while we figure that out?" Casey says with a sly smile.

Leaning in to place a chaste kiss to Casey's lips Alex replies, "Yeah I think we can work that out."

Casey kisses Alex back and whispers, "Good."

Breaking the kiss and stepping out on the front stoop Alex turns to look at Casey again. "Casey," Alex starts, "Will you go to dinner with me tomorrow night?"

Smiling Casey asks, "Alexandra Cabot, are you asking me out on a date?"

"Why yes, I am Casey Novak, so what do you say?"

"Yes Alex, yes."

* * *

The next night Alex arrives five minutes early to pick Casey up for their date. She is super nervous. It's almost laughable because she doesn't even get this nervous before court. Alex just wants everything to be perfect for Casey.

She made reservations at a nice French restaurant that Serena recommended and had flowers delivered to Casey earlier so she could enjoy them while getting ready for this evening. Alex even cleaned her car so everything would be perfect for Casey. Mentally she laughed at herself in a way it was like it was her first date ever. If she was being absolutely truthful she was hoping it would be her last first date ever.

Owen opened the door and let her inside. Caroline was sitting on the stairs leading up to the bedrooms wearing a full on pout. Alex smiled at her remembering sitting in the same spot upset with her own parents for going out to leave her with a nanny for the night.

Approaching Caroline carefully Alex sat down next to her. "Hey kiddo you want to know a secret?" Alex asked softly.

Caroline just looked at her but didn't say anything. Smiling Alex said, "I use to sit right where you are sitting when I was a little girl waiting on my Mommy to go out." Caroline half smiled at her still clearly upset. "You know what, she always came home and your Mommy will to." Caroline smiled a little more but still didn't say anything to Alex.

Alex hears Casey walking down the stairs and stands. As Casey comes into view she loses her breath. Casey looks gorgeous. She is in a beautiful black dress and strappy heels. Alex swallows hard, trying to will her body to breathe regularly.

Casey smiles when she sees Alex as she comes downstairs. Alex is dressed in a beautiful white form fitting dress with her hair down and she is wearing her contacts again. Casey doesn't think she has ever seen Alex looking so beautiful. Reaching the bottom of the stairs Alex asks, "Are you ready to go?"

"I sure am." Casey answers. Turning to Caroline Casey kneels and says, "Caroline sweetie, Mommy will be home after you fall asleep. Don't worry though Uncle Owen and Aunt Kim are here to play with you. Plus, I think Aunt Kim has a big surprise for you in the kitchen right now." Caroline smiles brightly and Casey continues, "She made cupcakes and they are all ready for you to ice and decorate!"

Caroline squeals and runs into the kitchen. Casey bids Owen a farewell and heads outside with Alex. Opening the passenger side door for Casey, Alex asks, "Casey, are you sure you are ok with me driving?" Casey nods as she climbs in and buckles her seat belt.

* * *

A little while later Casey finds herself sitting in a beautiful French restaurant waiting on what is sure to be a delicious meal while drinking an amazing glass of wine. She is still brutally nervous and feels like she is saying the wrong thing at every corner. All she can do is pray that Alex doesn't think she is being as ridiculous as she currently feels.

Alex realizes that Casey is nervous which is good because she is nervous too. "Casey I have an idea," Alex says, "Let's play a game, like an ice breaker."

Casey smiles and replies, "Okay, I am listening."

"I ask you a question you answer and you ask me one. You have to answer the question, no exceptions. You game?" Alex asks.

"Yes."

"Okay, what is your favorite color?"

Casey smiles, "Blue, yours?"

"Red, your question." Alex says.

"That was my question." Casey states.

Alex laughs and shakes her head, "Doesn't count, I asked it you just inquired mine as well."

"That's the same as questioned, but fine." Casey pauses to think then asks, "What is your favorite holiday?"

"Christmas, yours?"

"Thanksgiving I love the Macy's day parade. Why is Christmas your favorite?"

Alex gets a goofy grin on her face, "I love it, because it feels so magical. Christmas lights are my favorite part. I dream of one day having a house in the suburbs and covering it with lights. You know all Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation. I can see it now, my kids and wife on the front lawn cheering me on. It will be amazing."

Casey laughs at Alex, "That sounds amazing I would love to see that."

"Maybe you will be on the lawn cheering me on." Alex replies with a smile, before adding, "What is your favorite type of weather?"

Casey smiles as she swirls her wine in her glass she replies, "That is an odd question, but I love it when it rains. It is so relaxing, I love to lie around and listen to the rain. After it passes I like to go outside and play in puddles. I know it sounds childish, but I have loved the rain forever. What is your favorite type of weather?"

"Snow," Alex begins, "I love the snow. I love to ski and make snow men and have snowball fights. I act like a total kid when it snows. Once Olivia, Elliot and I were having a snowball fight in front of the courthouse, well a very mild one, but I hit Donnelly with a snowball as she walked out. I thought she was going to kill me, but I couldn't stop laughing. Olivia had to drag me away."

Casey was full on laughing imagining Alex and her snowball fight. The waitress arrives with the food. Alex smiles, she loves hearing Casey's laugh. It's beautiful.

Casey catches Alex starring at her and asks, "What are you thinking right now?"

Alex quietly says, "It's not your question."

"Answer anyway."

Alex smiles at Casey dominance, "I was thinking about you and how I love hearing you laugh. I think you laugh is beautiful, I would like to hear it every day."

Letting her words sink in with Casey, Alex takes a breath and asks, "Have you ever played a sport?"

"Yes, and I still do, I play softball. What about you?" Casey asks trying her lamb, "This is delicious."

Alex smiles she is pleased with Casey liking her meal, "I am glad you like it. I use to dance."

Casey bites her lip she has one major question she would like to know the answer to but is nervous to ask it. Alex knows Casey wants to ask something but is nervous, "Go ahead and ask"

Casey takes a deep breath and asks, "Why did you sleep around as much as you did?"

"I like sex. I never led anyone on ever. They all knew it was a one night stand and nothing more." Alex replies. She figured that question would come up and is happy it is out of the way. Looking into Casey's eyes she asks, "I know you like women obviously but have you ever slept with one?"

"Yes," Casey answers with a quirk of the eyebrow. Alex's game of questions has taken an interesting turn. Casey follows Alex's question with, "Have you slept with men ever or just women?"

"I experimented a lot in high school and college. So yes, I have slept with men, but only prefer women." Alex replies. Hoping to change conversation away from sex she asks, "Do you want more kids?"

"Yes, I do. I wish Caroline had a brother or a sister. I am very grateful for Owen." Casey answers, and asks, "How many kids do you want?"

"A lot," Alex laughs seeing Casey's eyes go wide. "Maybe three. I love kids. Plus, I always wanted siblings myself. Obviously that never happened, but it would have been nice." Alex finishes.

Casey grins, "Have you ever been in love?"

Alex pushes her food around her plate and sheepishly answers, "Yes."

"Who was she?"

"You."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: The reviews from last night were priceless, thank you. Btw, Stussy, yes Alex was promiscuous. Enjoy, I am working hard on getting the next chapter finished! **

Later that night Casey lay in bed thinking about Alex. Dinner with Alex was wonderful. She loved the blondes company, and Alex had gone out of her way to make Casey comfortable with her dinner game. She had found out things about Alex that she doubts anyone knows. Not to mention that Alex had told her that she had fallen in love with her.

The admission had shocked Casey at first, but Alex calmed her initial fears by assuring the redhead that she wasn't trying to pressure her. Alex was just being honest. She told Casey that she never wanted to hide anything from Casey. So as far as Casey was concerned Alex would be an open book and Casey would be free to turn to any page she liked. Casey wasn't sure that anyone had ever given her so much freedom with their thoughts and feelings before. She knew for a fact that John hadn't.

John had seen some awful things while in Iraq and he never wished to talk about the things he and Owen had seen out in the field. She respected his need to keep those details for himself, but often wished she knew what he'd dealt with emotionally from that time. Owen had always had that open book mentality with Kim and he'd even told Casey one Thanksgiving when Caroline was one what all he and John had endured. It was a horrific story and she wasn't surprised the army had honorably discharged them after the attack. Although, she never told John she knew what he'd seen overseas she did understand his need for distance at times. She'd only wished he'd been the one to tell her.

So lying in bed thinking about dinner with Alex, Casey wondered what had caused the blonde to be so open with her. What made Alex want to be with her so much? Why was Alex so accepting of her needing space at times and wanting the blonde close at others?

Serena and Abbie had been over at the house earlier that day when the flowers Alex sent had arrived. They were both happily surprised that the blonde was taking such lengths to court Casey. Abbie said she'd known Alex for years and Alex really hadn't been interested in dating anyone, but that Alex had always said when she met the right person she would take every measure possible to let that person know she wanted them. For whatever reason, Casey was that person.

Casey looked at the clock, it was 11pm. She wanted to talk to Alex, but was afraid it might be too late. Alex might be asleep. Figuring she give it a shot anyway she grabbed her phone and dialed the blonde.

After a few rings Alex answered, "Hey everything okay?"

Casey smiles hearing her warm voice, "Yeah, I just couldn't sleep. I wanted to talk to you."

Laughing Alex says, "You didn't get enough of me at dinner?"

"Not even close to enough," Casey admits with a blush that Alex thankfully can't see.

"Okay, want to get breakfast on the way to work tomorrow?" Alex asks quickly adding, "I know this place Caroline loves."

Casey smiles, "I love how you know of a place my daughter loves to eat breakfast in the City and I don't. You really are one of a kind Cabot."

"Thank you. So was that a yes?"

Casey laughs, "Yes, I will meet you for breakfast."

"Great! Feel better or do you want me to tell you a bedtime story?" Alex asks.

"Are you serious about the bedtime story?"

Alex grins wide even though Casey can't see it. Little does the redhead know Alex would read her every law book ever written if she asked. "I am totally serious Casey."

Casey smiles snuggling down under the covers, "Then yes, please tell me a story."

Alex smiles to herself, "Real or made up?"

"Made up. I want princesses and magic and castles." Casey replies with a yawn.

"Okay, I will tell you a story then until you fall asleep. Ready?" Alex asks, while getting comfortable in her bed.

"Mm, hm."

"Okay, once upon a time there was an Icy blonde queen who didn't believe in true love until one day a magician came into her court with a redhead assistant."

Casey laughs, "I am a magicians assistant Alex? Can we say fantasy?"

Alex scoffs, "This story isn't about you Casey it's made up. Remember?"

"Oh right, sorry." Casey yawns.

"So back to my story, upon seeing the redhead the Icy Queen finds herself falling in love with the magician's assistant. The queen was furious about this sure the magician had placed a spell on her..."

* * *

The next morning Alex waited for Casey to arrive at the diner. Knowing what Caroline would like Alex had already ordered it so the little girl wouldn't have to wait to eat. Luckily the food arrived just as Casey and Caroline walked in the restaurant.

"Good morning ladies," Alex said with a warm smile as Caroline climbed into the booth followed by Casey.

"Good morning," Casey replied frowning at the quiet Caroline, "Caroline can you tell Miss Alex good morning?"

"No," Caroline said picking up her fork and eating the pancakes. Looking up to Casey, the little girl said, "Thank you Mommy."

Casey smiles at her daughter and says, "Don't thank me thank Miss Alex she got those for you." Caroline doesn't say anything to Alex, but she smiles at her. Alex thought at least she was making progress considering that was the second smile in less than 24 hours.

"By the way," Casey starts with a smile, "thank you for my story last night. Sadly though, I fell asleep before finding out how the magician's assistant got free from the fire breathing dragon."

"Oh, that is such a shame. I guess you will have to call me again sometime to hear the end then." Alex says with a smirk.

"You won't tell me now?"

"It's not kid friendly, so no." Alex replies with a wink.

Casey nods in understanding with a big smile on her face. As the waitress arrives and takes their orders, Casey can't help but think about how much fun it is to be around Alex. The blonde just seems so full of life and it makes Casey want to be around her every minute.

The rest of breakfast flew by and before Casey knew it she and Alex were at the courthouse battling motion in judge's chambers. Leaving the courthouse and walking back to the office Alex asks Casey to follow her to her office. The motions didn't go well and Alex had let Casey handle the majority. Casey had tried her best to battle them but out of five she only managed to defeat two.

Walking into the blonde's office Casey sets her briefcase down in one of Alex's chairs as Alex throws hers down on her desk. Casey remains standing not knowing how long she will be saying after Alex vents. In all honesty she was a little nervous, she hadn't yet seen Alex so wound up.

Quickly Alex crosses the room and stands before Casey. Quietly she whispers, "That sucked. We got slaughtered in there. Nice job arguing against Langan he can be really tricky."

Before Casey had time to fully process Alex's words her lips were on Casey's. Breaking apart rather quickly, Alex whispers, "I'm sorry is it okay for me to kiss you here?" Casey nods in approval and Alex pushes her up against the desk. Casey takes the incentive and sits on the edge of the desk and pulls Alex to her deepening the kiss. It isn't long before Casey's hands start to wander from Alex's waist to her chest.

Feeling Casey's hands run up to her breasts Alex breaks the kiss. "Casey we can't I am sorry."

Casey still not yet fully thinking clearly from the kiss asks, "What?" as she pulls Alex back into the kiss. As she starts to trail kisses down Alex's neck, Alex steps back and walks across the room to put distance between them.

Turning to look at a flustered Casey who is coming back down from the high of the passionate kiss, Alex whispers, "Casey I am sorry…we can't not here."

"I know Alex. I am sorry. I was just lost in the moment. I don't want it to be like that the first time with...us." Casey says standing and straightening out her skirt. "I better go."

"Yeah."

* * *

That evening Alex sat in her apartment alone. She'd cooked a microwaveable dinner because she was too lazy to cook for herself. Times like these made her realize just how alone she was since her mom died. Now the worst part was she had this feeling like she didn't have to be alone. Casey had caused her to see a glimpse of what having a family could be like. It was as amazing as Alex always thought it could be.

Alex had always wanted a big family. As a child she'd spent most holidays alone while her parents traveled for business. Then as an adult after her father died and her mother became dependent on her Alex got to see what family holidays could be like. She missed having a family. She wanted a wife and children. She wanted to have someone to love who loved her back, to share her life with. She wanted to be the kind of parent she wanted but never had. Most importantly, she wanted to feel like she had a life.

Hearing her phone ring, Alex jumped from the couch hoping it was Casey. Seeing Abbie's name on the phone she deflated a little. "Hey Abb's what's up?" Alex answered.

"Just checking in on you. We didn't get to catch up after your motions today like we'd planned." Abbie replied.

"Yeah."

Knowing something was up with Alex's one liner response Abbie asked, "What's wrong Alex?"

Taking a breath Alex says, "Casey and I have been getting a little more serious, very much at her pace, which is fine. But Sunday night I took her to dinner and we were playing this question game. Anyway, she asked me if I have ever fallen in love and I said yes. She asked who and I told her."

"Oh my God, you did not. Seriously you did? Why am I just hearing about this?" Abbie exclaims.

Alex sighs, "Because. Now focus Abbie. Anyway, after motions today we ended back in my office and motions had gone poorly and I needed a pick me up so I kissed her. It got hot and heavy fast and I tried to stop us, but then it sped up again and..."

"Oh my God! You had sex in your office!" Abbie again interrupted.

"No! Jesus Carmichael will you let me tell the damn story?" Alex fumes waiting for a response as she walks to her bathroom.

"Yeah, yeah go on. My version was better though." Abbie mumbles.

"Anyway, I stopped it then. I didn't want our first time together to be there. She seemed fine, but now I haven't heard from her and I am wondering if I scared her off or something. I am acting all high school girl and it's driving me nuts and I hate sitting at home alone when I want to be with Casey and Caroline." Alex says as she sits on the edge of the tub. Turning on the water so she can relax in the tub, the blonde waits for her friend's response.

Abbie sighs, "Alex babe you go it bad. You not only want to be with Casey but Caroline too. I feel for you. I am sure you probably didn't scare her off, just take your bath and relax. I hear the tub running, I am not psychic."

"Ok Abbie I will try."

"Good. Now I am going to let you go before I get naked Alex images in my head."

Laughing Alex says bye and hangs up. Tracking down her iPad she climbs in the bath to read. She isn't one chapter into her book we she gets a FaceTime request from Casey.

Answering Alex makes sure to only have her head seen. "Hey Red Hot what's up?" Alex greets.

"Red Hot huh? Why is that?" Casey asks with a laugh and a smile while she lays in her bed.

"Well one, it made you laugh and smile so victory achieved, and two, because you have red hair and you are hot." Alex replies with an equally big smile.

"You know all the right things to say counselor. Are you in the bathtub?" Casey asks with a quirked eyebrow.

"Guilty as charged. I was relaxing when you called."

Casey shakes her head, "What is it with the women in my life and electronics and tubs tonight. Caroline dropped my cellphone in the bathtub tonight. I was going to call you right after and turned to get a towel and she decided she had to play angry birds right then. Needless to say tomorrow when I buy a new one I will also be investing in a LifeProof case."

Alex laughs so hard she almost drops her iPad in the tub. Pulling it together she notices Casey's wide eyes. "What?" Alex asks.

"I totally almost got a boob shot. Call me after you get out." Casey says with a smile as she disconnects the call. Alex lay back in the tub with a big smile on her face. Casey Novak wants her to call back.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Ok! I finished. Finally you get to see Caroline and Alex.**

* * *

"Okay, I am out of the tub and in my pajamas. Better?" Alex asks Casey via FaceTime.

"Yes," Casey replies with a smile as she rolls over on her side and sets the iPad on a pillow to look at Alex. In a way it kind of makes it appear as if Alex is lying next to her. Letting out a deep breath Casey asks, "Alex I have a question for you."

Alex smiles seeing Casey roll on her side and prop the iPad Alex does the same. "What is your question Case?" Alex whispers.

Casey smiles, quietly she asks, "Do you like to spoon or snuggle in general?"

A huge smile falls upon Alex's face, "Yes I do, do you?"

"Yes, I am a huge snuggler. I must warn you I have been told that I am a heater as well." Casey replies with a laugh.

"Great," Alex exclaims, "I am always cold at night, I can't ever get warm enough."

Laughing Casey responds, "Well then Alexandra I am your girl."

"That you are Casey, that you are."

* * *

The next morning Casey is trying to pick out something to wear for her first day in court. Alex is letting her give the opening statement and she is panicking because she can't find anything to wear in her closet. Picking up her iPad since she is still phone less she FaceTime's Alex.

"Good morning beautiful," Alex says connecting the call as she is applying her makeup.

"Alex I am having a serious emergency." Casey exclaims.

Pausing with her eye liner Alex looks down at the iPad, "Casey what's wrong? Is Caroline okay?"

"What? Oh, yeah, she's fine and eating a pop tart in my bed as we speak," Casey says flipping the iPad to show Caroline.

"Good morning Caroline!" Alex yells out, Caroline looks her way and smiles while continuing to eat her breakfast and watch Bubble Guppies.

"Looking back at the screen Casey says the problem is me see." Casey holds the iPad out to view her underwear only clad body.

"Ah, Casey warn me in the future before you show me yourself, I almost poked me eye out!" Alex says as she rubs her eye from where the eyeliner pencil hit the white of her eye.

Casey laughs, "Sorry, I didn't think I would make you lose concentration so much. Anyway help me I can't figure out what to wear."

"Ok, take the iPad to your closet and let me see your clothes."

"Alright, here you go. Find me clothes baby!" Casey exclaims going through her closet slowly.

"Okay babe, black skirt pant suit with jacket and blue button up shirt for under the jacket. If you are wear low black heels or black flats, the floors have a tendency to make a lot of noise in the courtrooms which can be distracting for opening statements." Alex says with a smile.

Casey looks at the iPad, "Oh, you are good."

"I know. By the way, I love it when you call me baby. Now get dressed we have to be at the courthouse in an hour and thirty and you have to get little one to school." Alex says.

"Okay, signing off. Love you." Casey hits disconnect and freezes. She couldn't believe what she just said. It seriously slipped out. She didn't mean it, it was just autopilot.

Alex stood outside of the courtroom. She was early and she knew Casey would be very early. Casey said love you before hanging up and it was clearly an accident, so Alex knew she had a minimal window of time to put Casey's nerves to rest before her opening statement.

It wasn't a minute later before Alex saw Casey coming down the hall. Checking her watch she saw they had about twenty minutes before they had to be in court so she quickly walked down the hall and took Casey's hand leading her into the nearest empty conference room. Walking in Casey was already starting to ramble and Alex cut her off with a quick chaste kiss.

"Casey stop, I know it was an accident don't worry babe." Alex said looking into Casey's beautiful green eyes.

Casey lets out a deep breath, "Oh thank you Alex. I have been a nervous wreck. That sounds awful."

Alex quickly kisses her again, "No it doesn't because I understand you. Please don't worry."

"Okay," Casey replies smiling, "Let's go we don't want to be late."

Walking back to court, Alex looks at Casey, "Have you ever been to the Central Park Zoo?"

Shaking her head Casey says, "No, why do you ask?"

"If you feel up to it, I would like to take you and Caroline on Saturday."

"Really? That sounds great, I am sure Caroline will love it!" Casey replies with a big smile.

Smiling big Alex says, "Alright then it's a date Saturday with my two favorite redheads."

* * *

**Saturday Morning…**

Alex is standing outside of her apartment building waiting on Casey to pick her up. She is nervously bouncing up and down on the heels of her shoes full of pent up energy. Alex is fully prepared for today. Today she is making Caroline her friend.

Seeing Casey come down the street Alex smiles big. As Casey stops the car Alex climbs in the passenger seat of the car and gives Casey a quick kiss on the cheek. Looking back at Caroline, Alex hands the little girl a single daisy saying, "I got this for you Caroline." Caroline takes the flower and just smiles.

While driving Alex talks about all the exciting things they can see when they reach the zoo. She tells Caroline all about her favorite animals from the sea lions to the penguins to the snow leopard. Alex tells Caroline that out of all the animals in the zoo that the snow leopard is her favorite because they can jump up to 30 feet. Caroline's little face changes with every story about the zoo she hears. The little girl is clearly excited about going and that is making Alex even more excited.

Stealing a look at Casey, Alex sees how happy and at peace Casey looks she is so beautiful. "You look very beautiful right now Casey." Alex whispers.

Casey laughs, "Sneakers, shorts, a tee-shirt, and hair in a ponytail and you think I look beautiful?"

"No, I take beautiful back, you look stunning. I wouldn't want you any other way." Alex says with a big smile.

"Well thank you baby."

Hitting some traffic they slow to a miserable crawl the rest of the way to the zoo. "Mommy, are we there yet?" Caroline asks as she becomes restless.

"No sweetie, not yet." Casey answers.

"Mommy, I want out!"

"Hey Caroline," Alex quickly interjects, "Do you want to hear my all-time favorite song?" Caroline doesn't answer but smiles wide. As Alex plugs in her iPhone she smiles at Casey while thinking, this day is going so well already. Pressing play to Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline Casey laughs.

"Nice choice Alex." Casey whispers. Looking at Casey Alex admits, "I am actually a huge Neil Diamond fan and this really is one of my favorite songs."

As Caroline listens to the song she gets super excited when she hears her name in it. "Mommy! Alex's song say my name!"

Casey laughs stealing a look at Alex, "It sure does sweetie." Alex thinks to herself, 'Score she said my name!' As the song ends Alex watches the little girl's behavior for a second.

"Hey Caroline, do you want me to play it again?" Alex asks.

"Please Alex!" Caroline exclaims with a smile.

As Alex presses play again, Casey sees the blonde quietly wipe away a few stray tears. Casey frowns and says, "Alex?"

"I am fine," Alex quietly chokes, "It's just she said my name. I am so happy."

"Aw, baby." Casey whispers squeezing her hand as they finally pull into the zoo.

Walking around the zoo with Caroline was a whole new experience. After the car ride and the song Caroline was smitten with Alex. Casey smiled watching her daughter finally drop her walls and enjoy being with Alex. Plus, seeing Alex interact with her daughter was actually making Casey start to fall for the blonde.

They watched the sea lions being fed and Caroline and Alex had to go up and down in the exhibit so many times that Casey finally took a seat on a bench. Neither could decide if they liked seeing them more above water or below. It made Casey laugh to see the normally composed ADA act like a child. Thinking about it Casey had never heard Alex laugh so much. Moving on to the penguins and then the grizzly bears they eventually made their way to see the snow leopards.

Seeing the giant leopard Caroline's eyes go wide as she moves to Alex's legs. "Pick me up Alex," the little girl begs. Once she is in Alex's arms she proceeds to ask numerous questions about the white spotted beast. Casey laughs and stands on the other side of her two favorite girls. As they left the exhibit Alex passed Caroline to Casey and said she would catch up in a minute. Running to the nearest kiosk Alex purchases a small stuffed snow lion then runs to catch up to Casey and Caroline.

As they sit to eat lunch, Caroline starts to look sleepy. Alex pulls out the bag and says, "Hey Care-bear, I got you a little something earlier you want to see?" Caroline scoots over to Alex's side of the booth and opens the bag. "Mommy! Alex got a baby snow kitty!" Caroline exclaims. Pulling it out the little girl thanks Alex and lays her head in Alex's lap while playing with the toy. Before long Caroline is sound asleep, with her head still on Alex's lap, and Casey and Alex decide to spend their time talking.

"I have had a blast today thank you." Casey says smiling at Alex.

Alex laughs, "Casey, I should be the one thanking you. I practically stole Caroline as we ran all over the zoo." As she runs her fingers through the little redhead's hair she softly says, "Casey she is just so perfect. You really do make beautiful babies."

"Thank you Alex." Casey asks seeing the longing look in Alex's eyes, "What is it Alex?"

"Nothing really, she just looks so peaceful. I am just amazed at how quickly children can forget things. Just yesterday she wouldn't talk to me and today she is my best friend. It is amazing." Alex replies.

Casey leans over the table and looks at Caroline. Smiling she whispers, "That's kids for you."

* * *

That night back at Casey's, Caroline was super overtired and fussy. Dinner was a total fiasco and bath time a disaster and here Casey sat on Caroline's bedroom floor trying powerlessly to get Caroline in her pajamas. Finally Alex walks in finished from cleaning the kitchen and bathroom and touches Casey on the shoulder, "Babe why don't you go get Caroline some water and take a breathier I can finish getting her dressed for you."

Casey looks up at Alex and feels like she could cry. Alex is such a saint. Kissing Caroline and telling her she will be right back Casey heads down to the kitchen.

Caroline looks up at Alex not exactly sure what to think about the blonde. Smiling sweetly at Caroline, Alex says, "If you get dressed right now for me I will sing you Sweet Caroline." Caroline quickly let's Alex help her get dressed, then takes Alex's hand and drags her to the rocker.

Alex sits down and has the little girl sit in her lap. Rocking back and forth she sings to the little girl as Caroline snuggles into Alex and rests her head against the blonde's chest. Quickly she is asleep but Alex remains rocking and singing the song. All she can think is she wishes she could call Caroline her own and Casey her wife. Maybe one day.

As Casey heads back upstairs she hears Alex singing. She smiles as she walks down the hall and realizes the blonde is singing Sweet Caroline, the song that broke down Caroline's walls. Looking into the room her heart melts, seeing Caroline asleep in Alex's arms as Alex sings.

_Sweet Caroline  
Good times never seemed so good  
I've been inclined,  
To believe they never would  
Oh, no, no_

_Sweet Caroline_  
_Good times never seemed so good_  
_Sweet Caroline,_  
_I believe they never could_  
_Sweet Caroline_  
_Good times never seemed so good_  
_Sweet Caroline..._

As Alex finishes the song, Casey watches as she leans her head down and kisses her daughters head. She hears Alex whisper, "I love you Caroline, have all the sweet dreams in the world." And continues to watch as Alex stands and tucks Caroline in bed while placing one more sweet kiss to her forehead. Alex acts as if Caroline is her own child and that is when Casey knows. Casey realizes she is falling in love with Alexandra Cabot.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Sexy times ahead, skip to the next break if you wish to avoid. Love the reviews and hearing what you all think about the happy couple and Alex and Caroline's relationship. :) Working on next chapter now…if I don't get too distracted by Greys and Scandal!**

* * *

As Alex left Caroline's room Casey took her hand and led her into the master bedroom. Entering the room, Casey took Alex into her arms kissing her passionately. She reveled in how simply kissing Alex could turn her on so quickly. Breaking the kiss to catch their breath for a moment, Alex whispers, "Maybe we should take a shower." Pressing her lips softly to Alex's Casey smiles and turns headed into the bathroom pulling Alex along by the hand.

Turning on the shower, Casey turns to see Alex kicking off her shoes. Casey follows suit and soon their undressing becomes slow and purposeful watching the others reaction to their body as they undress themselves. Finally free of clothing, Alex walks up and takes Casey face in her hands as she kisses her. Casey quickly wraps her arms around Alex's waist and pulls the blonde's body flush against hers enjoying the sensation of skin to skin contact.

Feeling Casey's soft lips against hers as their bodies finally touch in the most intimate way Alex feels as if her heart will explode. Leading Casey into the steamy shower and under the water she takes her again in her arms as she kisses down Casey's jaw to her neck loving every sound or gasp that escapes the redhead. Running her hand up Casey's toned stomach to her breast Alex runs her fingers over Casey's hard nipple.

The sensation, however light causes Casey to arch into Alex knowing what eventually will come from such touches. Alex adjusts the spray of the shower to hit the built in seat in the shower and sits on the bench and pulls Casey to straddle her lap. Casey's breathing becomes ragged as Alex runs both hands up her stomach to her breasts pinching both nipples with her fingers as she watches Casey's reaction. "So beautiful," she breathes as she leans forward and takes a stiff bud into her mouth lightly sucking and nipping at it relishing every noise that escapes the redhead. Moving over to the next one Casey is already withering in her arms begging for more.

Alex runs her right hand down Casey's side and to her thigh. "Oh yes Alex, please touch me," Casey gasps, causing Alex to let go of her nipple with a pop. Sitting back a little Alex watches Casey's reaction as she runs her hand up to Casey's center and through her wetness. The sensation causes Casey to throw her head back and moan at the small touch she's wanted for so long. Drawing her fingers up to Casey's clit the redhead bucks her hips into Alex's hand while she pleads for more.

Leaning forward Alex captures Casey's lips in a passionate kiss as she enters the redhead with first one finger then two. Setting a rhythm she begins to move in and out of her while rubbing circles around her clit with her free hand. Casey holds onto Alex's shoulders while rocking her hips into the blonde's hands. Alex is mesmerized by watching Casey lose control under her ministrations. Watching her desperate for release and hearing her cries as she nears her orgasm literally has Alex on the brink as well. Finally Casey goes crashing over the edge crying out Alex's name while Alex feels every quake.

As Casey comes down from her high Alex moves her hands to Casey's back and pulls her against her body. Trying to regain her breath Casey looks into Alex's eyes and smiles, "That was the hardest I think I have ever come."

Alex kisses Casey lightly and says, "It felt pretty amazing from my end," kissing Casey again before adding, "let's go to bed."

Casey kisses Alex and takes her bottom lip between her teeth playfully nipping as she runs her hand between them to Alex's wet core. Alex instantly moans at the contact still wound up from watching Casey come. Casey smirks seeing how close Alex already is with such little contact. Leaning to Alex's ear she softly says, "Not until I get my turn."

With that she slides off Alex's lap and kneels in front of her. Running her hands over Alex's perfect breasts Casey trails her hands down to Alex's center and pushes her legs apart and leans in kissing her way up Alex's thighs. As she nears her prize Alex begs, "Please Casey please make me come."

Casey, not wanting to draw anything out any longer for the blonde, runs her tongue through Alex's waiting wetness moaning lightly at the taste. Alex can't hold back her pleasure and instantly cries out from the sensation. Casey, loving the response her actions are eliciting from the blonde, repeats her actions a few times then pulls back causing Alex to whimper from the loss. Casey quickly slides two fingers in easily and sets a rhythm as she leans back in to capture Alex's clit in her mouth. She runs her tongue in circles around the bundle of nerves as she continues to move her fingers artfully against Alex's g-spot causing the blonde to make the most erotic sounds. She could tell Alex was super close to exploding as she tangled her hands in Casey's hair and began begging Casey to suck her clit. Casey did as asked and Alex came hard crying out Casey's name.

Alex practically slid off the bench into Casey's arms after coming down from her high. Casey held her lovingly under the warm spray of the shower as they both regained their breath. "You are so beautiful," Casey whispered into Alex's ear as she placed light kisses along her shoulder. The only response Alex could manage was a hum.

After a minute Alex looks into Casey's eyes and laughs, "That was amazing."

Casey smiles, "Seemed like it. Why don't we finish our shower and go put on some PJs. We can climb in bed and snuggle the rest of the night."

"Sounds great." Alex replies with a yawn. They quickly finish their shower and Casey gives Alex some pajamas.

Climbing into bed that night Casey curls into Alex's embrace. Snuggling close to the redhead Alex sleepily whispers, "I love you Casey." Casey hears her lovers words and whispers back, "Love you too Alex."

* * *

At 4am Alex wakes to the sound of thunder outside. Opening her eyes she sees Casey looking at her with a sweet smile on her face. "Hi," the redhead whispers.

Alex smiles, even at 4am Casey looks gorgeous leaning forward she presses as sweet kiss to Casey's lips. "Hi back, why are you awake?" Alex asks in a whisper.

"The rain woke me up." She replied with a smile. Alex could hear the rain clearly hitting the windows in sheets between the sounds of thunder. Alex wonders how Caroline is, "Do we need to check on little one?"

"No, she has a way of sleeping through storms. If she wakes up she will come climb in bed with us, I hope that is okay."

Alex smiles again, "That is more than okay Casey." Casey lies back and Alex lays her head on Casey's chest taking comfort in the sounds of her heartbeat and warmth. Listening to the sounds of the rain Casey plays with Alex's hair as the blonde falls into sleep again.

Casey looks at Alex as she sleeps peacefully on her, as if it's the only place she is meant to be. She never thought she'd fall in love again after John but here she finds herself falling fast for this beautiful incredible woman. It's funny they really seem like such an amazing fit. Alex even loves to snuggle, almost the whole night she has either had Casey wrapped in her arms or been wrapped in Casey's. Casey loves it. John wasn't a snuggler...

* * *

The next morning Casey wakes up at 8:30 to an empty bed. Climbing out of the bed, she walks down the hall and finds Caroline's bed empty. Wondering where everyone is Casey walks to the stairs. Standing at the top she hears music coming from the direction of the kitchen and hears squeals of laughter coming from her little girl.

Entering the kitchen she finds Alex dancing around the kitchen while Caroline sits at the breakfast table eating pancakes. Alex is lip synching along to the Coconut song while somehow managing to cook bacon and eggs on the griddle. Casey has to bite her lips to not laugh at the scene before her. She mentally kicks herself for not bringing her cellphone downstairs with her because she could have this priceless moment on video.

As the song finishes, Alex bows for Caroline as the little girl yells, "Again Alex again please!" Casey claps and calls out, "Encore!' for Alex. Alex turns in her direction and points a finger at Casey saying, "You did not pay for my show! Caroline, Mommy has to pay the fee doesn't she?"

"Yes, pay Mommy!" Caroline calls out as she tries to eat another bite of pancake but it falls from the fork.

Casey smiles at Alex. "Okay, I have no problem paying, what is the payment?" Casey asks Alex with a quirked eyebrow as she walks across the kitchen to where Alex is standing.

Alex taps her finger against her chin, "Well Caroline got the early bird discount which was a high-five, but you came late so I think your payment should be a kiss."

"Oh, I see," Casey replies with a big smile, "I think I can handle that payment." As she finishes she leans in and wraps her arms around Alex's neck and places a sweet kiss to her lips. Breaking the kiss the redhead whispers, "Thank you for letting me sleep in this morning."

Hugging Casey tight to her, Alex softly says, "Anytime babe anytime. I do not mind watching little one at all. As a matter of a fact, I find it quite enjoyable."

Casey leans back in Alex's arms and smiles at the blonde as she says, "Alex Cabot, you are too good to be true." Alex laughs, "No, Casey you just bring out all the good in me."

Breaking apart Alex finishes cooking and fixes her and Casey a plate, as Casey makes them each a cup of coffee. As they sit at the table eating breakfast Alex can't help but feel like she finally has a family. She just hopes and prays that it lasts.

Casey notices Alex looks deep in thought as she takes a sip of her coffee. Giving the blonde a moment to be in her thoughts Casey eats her eggs as Caroline tells her all about Alex cooking breakfast for her. "Then Mommy," Caroline takes a deep breath and holds her hands over her head, "Alex fwipped the pancake in the air, way-way up high!"

Casey enthusiastically responds, "Wow, she did! I bet that was so cool to see Care-bear. You are mighty lucky Miss Alex has such talent at cooking. If Mommy did that the pancake would have hit my head!" Caroline starts giggling at Casey, "That's silly Mommy."

Casey looks over at Alex who has a big smile on her face as she watches Caroline. Alex really seems smitten with her daughter and Casey is so thankful for that. Touching Alex's arm Casey asks, "Do you have plans today?"

Alex shakes her head, "No, I don't currently have anything planned. Do you have something in mind?"

"Actually, yes, Caroline and I usually snuggle up under blankets and watch movies when it rains. Would you like to stay? We can order in some food and relax to Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast and if I am lucky Finding Nemo." Casey asks with a hopeful smile.

Alex sees how much Casey wants her to stay and chuckles a little as she replies, "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Caroline overhearing the whole exchange squeals, "Yay! Alex, you sit next to me. You can have my popcorn."

Alex laughs as she stand with her plate and leans over and kisses Caroline's head, "I would love to share your popcorn Care-bear."

Watching Alex clean up the kitchen as she finishes eating, Casey can't help but feel like life seems so normal now. It's not the normal that she was use to with John by any means, but normal in a new and more fulfilling way. She feels a little sad feeling that way, because she still loves John and always will. He was an amazing person, but she is very thankful for having Alex in her life. Alex makes her happy in a way she hasn't felt in a really long time. Casey smiles to herself, she can actually say she is really looking forward to her future right now.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Lol, glad to know you all don't need a warning for sexy times. I had a good laugh with that! Enjoy, I am working hard on the next one for you!**

* * *

**One month later…**

Alex grabbed the last bag from the car and doubled checked for any toys that may have gotten lose during their drive. They'd rented a house with Kim and Owen along with Serena and Abbie for the Fourth of July week. It would be an interesting week for sure, partly because so much had changed over the last month.

First, Kim found out she was pregnant at the beginning of June. Owen was thrilled and Kim was excited for the first two weeks until morning sickness kicked in full force. She had some type of severe morning sickness that caused her to throw up multiple times a day. It had gotten so severe at one point that Owen had her admitted to the hospital. While there the OB did an ultrasound and found out, that Kim was having twins. Owen was ecstatic and Kim in total shock. After that Owen ordered his head of OB to prescribe some anti-nausea medicine for her and she was finally felt a little better. Poor thing was finally feeling a little better but you couldn't cook anything around her so pretty much everything had to be grilled. Needless to say it would make cooking this week quite difficult.

Next, Abbie just proposed to Serena the weekend before so they were full on nose deep in wedding magazines. Serena wanted to get married on the beach and Abbie wanted to get married back in Texas. It was usually a constant battle between ideas, but ended with laughter and kisses and acts Alex was sure she didn't want to imagine her friends in. Of course watching her two friends so happy together planning their wedding made Alex long to propose to Casey as well, but she wasn't about to cross that bridge just yet.

As for she and Casey they were super happy. There was rarely a night they spent apart and Alex found the ones they were apart she couldn't sleep. She was without a doubt in love with Casey and couldn't imagine not being with her. Plus, she loved Caroline as if she were her own child. Alex felt like they were her family and all she wanted was to make them happy, because they made her happy just by being in her life.

Walking back into the beach house Alex is met by a very exuberant three year old. "Alex! Aunt Kim threw up!" Caroline yelled out. "Really? That's awful is Uncle Owen with her?" Alex asked.

"Mommy and Uncle Owen." Caroline replied. Alex looks up to see Serena and Abbie looking a little green themselves in the kitchen. Alex shakes her head, "Are you two okay? You both look like you might get sick any minute."

"It was awful. If that's what happens when you are pregnant we have to adopt." Abbie answers weakly sitting in one of the island bar seats.

Serena rolls her eyes, "She just didn't make it to the toilet exactly. We cleaned it up."

"You two sound like you need some fresh air." Alex replies placing her bag down and handing Caroline her toy Ariel.

"Good idea Cabot! Serena, why don't we go for a walk on the beach?" Abbie asks jumping from the chair.

"Sounds like a fantastic plan. Caroline would you like to join us? We can build a sand castle." Serena smiles and holds out a hand to Caroline.

Caroline beams at the offer and looks to Alex for approval. Squatting down to eye level with the little girl Alex agrees, "You can go, but don't go anywhere near the water, stay with them, and listen to Serena. Got it?"

"Got it!" cheered Caroline running to Serena. Abbie frowns thinking over what Alex had just said, "Wait, why did you just say listen to Serena? Why not Serena and Abbie?"

"Because you are an even bigger kid than I am, and when around a giant body of water, I am going to have my child listen to the most adult person. Sorry Carmichael, no hard feelings." Alex says with a big smile as Abbie shakes her head and follows Serena and the little redhead out the door.

Walking to the window Alex watches the little girl run down the beach with her friends. Abbie chasing Caroline as Serena clearly scolds the brunette. Shaking her head, Alex loves how they all seem like one big family. Feeling warm arms wrap around her waist and Casey kiss her shoulder Alex sighs.

Taking in the scent of her girlfriend's perfume, Casey whispers into Alex's ear, "I love that you referred to Caroline as your child."

"What?"

"I heard Abbie ask you why you told Caroline to only listen to Serena," Casey pauses to turn Alex in her arms, "and you said that when it comes to water and your child you wanted an adult watching…."

"Oh," Alex replies realizing her choice of words, "and you loved that?"

Casey tangles a hand behind Alex's neck and pulls her into a soft kiss breaking it a moment later, "Yes, I did. You act a like a parent to her and I find it amazingly sweet." Taking Alex's hand she walks outside and sits in one of the oversized Adirondack chairs motioning for Alex to sit in between her legs. The blonde does so and leans back into Casey, as Casey wraps her arms around Alex.

Holding Alex tight against her body while watching the waves roll into the beach, Casey can't remember a time she was so happy. Running her finger through Alex's hair Casey thinks to Kim sick in the bed with Owen by her side. Casey doesn't doubt if she got that sick having her and Alex's baby that Alex would be with her every minute. Chuckling a little to herself, Casey finds it funny that she and Alex aren't even officially living together but she is thinking about being pregnant with their child.

"What's funny?" Alex asks.

Smiling as the blonde rolls in her arms to look her in the face, Casey replies, "Honestly, I was thinking that if I were pregnant with our child and super sick that you would be by my side. Then I realized that was a silly thought considering we don't even live together."

"Hmm, I see. You want to change that?" Alex asks biting her lips immediately after out of nervousness for the abrupt question.

Casey smiles brightly, "You want to move in with me?"

"Yes. Well you and Caroline, but yes."

"Okay!" Casey says capturing Alex's lips in a passionate kiss.

Alex breaks their kiss and looks deep into Casey's green eyes. Casey can tell the blonde wants to tell her something but is nervous. Brushing a stray lock of blonde hair from Alex's face she softly asks, "What is it baby?"

"Casey I am in love with you. I know I have told you that I love you, but I want you to know that I am in love with you. You have all of my heart." Alex says softly.

Casey smiles cupping Alex's face in between her hands, "I am in love with you too Alex." As she finishes she presses her soft lips to Alex's kissing her softly at first then more passionately.

Breaking the kiss Alex says, "Let's go to our room." Casey grins as she watches Alex climb off of her and stand eyeing Casey in a way that says all the things she plans to do to her. Standing to follow her gorgeous blonde Casey is sure of one thing...her sex life has soared to a mind-blowing new level.

* * *

Later that evening Casey sat outside with her brother, Abbie and Serena. Poor Kim had gone to bed early after dinner claiming that Owen's demon spawn babies were sucking the life out of her. Everyone found it humorous minus Kim who evidently was dead serious. Meanwhile Alex was putting Caroline to bed with a book and her favorite song.

Casey loved how much Caroline adored Alex. Every night her daughter would ask for Alex to put her to bed and every night Alex would sing Sweet Caroline to her. Alex treated Caroline like she were her own and Casey felt safe letting them both be close to each other because she knew in her heart Alex would never leave them.

Suddenly getting hit in the side with a flying flip flop, Casey is pulled out of her thoughts. "What?" the redhead exclaims at her laughing friends.

Serena high fives Abbie, "Nice shot!" Smiling as she kisses her fiancé.

Looking at Serena, Abbie replies, "With my good luck charm in my arms how could I miss?"

Casey shakes her head, "Okay crazies you have my attention, what's up?"

"We were noticing how extra lovey you and Alex have been this afternoon. Something you feel like sharing?" Serena asks.

"Before you start do I need to leave for this discussion?" Owen quickly asks fearing what story might be coming.

Laughing Casey assures Owen it will be G-rated and he settles back into his seat. Looking at her friends Casey says, "Alex and I decided to move in together."

Abbie's jaw drops and Serena's eyes go wide. "Really?" Abbie questions skeptically. Serena quickly nudges Abbie in the ribs and replies, "That's awesome good for you two."

"Serena?" Abbie starts but Serena jumps up. "Abbie, let's go for that moonlight walk on the beach." Scowling at her fiancé knowing that she is trying to shut her up Abbie begrudgingly agrees and they head off.

Casey looks over to Owen, "Well that wasn't the response I expected to get from my best friends, but okay."

"Casey, I think Abbie is just worried."

"Obviously Owen, but about what? Alex and I are in love what does it matter if we move in together?" Casey asks as she sits up straight and grabs her brother's beer taking a big swig.

Frowning at Casey he says, "Would you like to get your own beer, or do you plan to drink all of mine?"

"I'll get you another, now answer my question." Casey replies rolling her eyes.

"What's worrisome, Casey is you. Your husband died less than a year ago and now you have fallen hard for Alex, which is fine, but you need to be absolutely sure you know emotionally what you are doing. If you don't Casey and it comes to that point of real commitment you will shatter Alex and Caroline. Alex loves you with every ounce of her being and loves Caroline like her own child and Caroline loves Alex like a parent. If you move to fast you will destroy them." Owen answers with a sympathetic look.

Casey frowns at her brother, "So what is everyone sitting around waiting for me to break Alex's heart and ruin my child? Did you all forget that you all pushed us together?"

"Casey, you don't have to get defensive. No one forgets any of that and no one is waiting for you to hurt Alex. We are just concerned about how fast you both are moving is all. If it makes you feel better if you can assure me you know what you are doing I won't worry any longer." Owen sighs taking a sip of his beer and passing it to Casey.

Casey smiles thinking of Alex, "Owen I am sure. I haven't ever been so in love. Alex makes me so happy she is everything I have ever wanted in a partner. I can't imagine living without her."

Owen stands, "I am glad to hear that Casey. After everything you went through losing John you really deserve to be happy, so I am really happy for you. I am going to check on Kim and get us some beers. As in plural, yours and mine. Mine, being off limits to you."

Casey smiles watching him enter the house. Her brother doesn't realize it, but he just said something that hit Casey deep that she hadn't really realized these last few weeks. She didn't really think about John as often now with Alex in her life. She wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

Hearing the door open again pulls her from her thoughts as she sees Alex walk outside. The blonde looks beautiful in a pair of grey sweat pants and a white tank top. Casey motions for her to come and sit in her lap. As she does the redhead wraps her arms tight around her waist pulling her close.

Looking into Casey's eyes, Alex can tell something has recently upset her. Running a hand down her face Alex asks, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Casey shakes her head, "No baby, right now I just need you to snuggle with me and make me laugh. We can talk about it later if that's okay."

Alex kisses Casey lightly then says, "That would be fine babe." As Alex lies her head against Casey's shoulder Casey feels her stress and anxiety start to fade away. The blonde has this way of being able to make her feel like new without saying a word. Casey laughs to herself, it's like Alex has magical healing powers.

"What?" Alex says looking up at Casey.

"You have magical healing powers." Casey answers as they both erupt in laughter.

Owen walks back to the French doors to head outside with Kim following when he sees Casey and Alex in each other's arms laughing and sharing little kisses. Kim sighs seeing the two women, "They really are so happy together."

"Yeah, I just hope for both their sakes it stays that way." Owen sighs.

Kim hits Owens arm, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Owen shakes his head, "I am worried Kim that Casey is moving way to fast. I know she loves Alex, but they are moving in together. You've seen Alex around her, how long do you think she'll wait before asking Casey to marry her? If Casey isn't ready it will destroy both of them."

"Owen you can't worry about those things. Furthermore, don't you go putting all that negative crap in your sister's head because you will screw her up. She loves Alex and Caroline loves Alex. They deserve to be happy. It's why I worked my ass off to set them up! Don't you and your stupid male brain go ruining all my hard work!" Kim fumes.

"Hormones?" Owen smirks

Kim scowls, "Maybe just a little. But seriously, Owen look at your sister."

Owen wraps his arm around his wife as he looks out and watches Casey and Alex. They are wrapped in each other's arms, looking into each other eyes talking. Suddenly Casey throws her head back laughing; Alex obviously said something funny because she has a beaming wide smile on her face. He can tell that they are really happy. Maybe everything will be okay.

"See how happy she is Owen. I loved John and he made her happy, but not that happy. Alex has a way with Casey and she would move heaven and earth for Casey. What could possibly be wrong with that?" Kim asks laying her head against her husband's chest.

Kissing his wife's head he whispers, "You are so very right Kim. I don't know if I've ever seen Casey this happy. Have I ever told you that you are not only beautiful but smart?"

"Every time I prove you wrong sweetheart. Let's go join them before your demon spawns' make me sick again." Kim replies opening the door as Owen laughs.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Sorry, it is probably going to be a minimalist weekend, but enjoy anyway! I will make it up to you though…eventually! To answer reviews…yes it is fast. That is all I will say about that. :) Also, Tracer you made my day by finding my 'Owen's demon spawns' line funny! **

The next morning of the Fourth, Alex awoke to Caroline in bed with her and Casey. Casey had her arm wrapped protectively around the little girl as Caroline had her head snuggled into her mother's chest. It was the most beautiful sight Alex had ever seen in her life. Grabbing her phone she snapped a few pictures of them before sneaking into the bathroom.

After brushing her teeth she walks downstairs to make some coffee. As she reaches the main floor and heads to the kitchen she hears a little voice call out, "Alex."

Turning around she sees Caroline waiting at the top of the stairs. Smiling up at the little girl she say, "Yes, Caroline."

"Can I come with you?"

"Of course sweetheart, come on." Quickly the little girl makes her way down the stairs and follows Alex to the kitchen. As Alex makes the coffee she asks, "What kind of cereal do you want for breakfast today sweetheart?"

Caroline instantly frowns, "I want you to make pancakes."

"I can't sweetie the smell will bother Aunt Kim she's sick remember?" Alex tries to persuade.

"I want pancakes, Alex. Please." Caroline begs giving the face. Oh that face, she scrunches her eyebrows together and just barely sticks out her bottom lip and you can't help but laugh and cave every time. Alex shakes her head wondering how she is even a successful prosecutor when she can't stand up to Caroline's 'face'.

"Okay, let's see if Mommy brought the microwaveable kind. If she didn't you and I will go out for pancakes." Alex caves. She knew she shouldn't give in to Caroline but she felt for the little girl. Caroline wasn't a huge cereal fan and four straight days of it was a bit much for the tike. Soon Alex finds the pancakes and has them cooking in the microwave for Caroline while praying that it won't upset Kim's nausea.

Picking the little girl up Alex walked to the back windows of the house to look out over the water. It was going to be a beautiful day. Caroline lays her head against Alex's shoulder looking outside with her while she plays with Alex's hair. Alex smiles thinking these are hands down the best moments of her life.

Hearing footsteps on the stairs Alex looks over to see Casey motioning for her to be quiet and keep looking out the window. Casey spotted Alex and Caroline as she was coming down the stairs and thought it would make the most beautiful picture, so she quickly takes a couple pictures before Caroline sees her. As soon as the little redhead notices her Mommy picture time ends with a squeal of, "Mommy!"

Smiling Casey opens her arms and scoops the little girl over into them just in time for the microwave to ding. Walking back into the kitchen, Alex doctors up Caroline's pancakes and serves them to her while Casey fixes them both some coffee. As she hands Alex her cup she steals a kiss and whispers into her ear, "I missed my good morning kiss when I woke up."

Alex grins, setting her and Casey's coffee down. Taking Casey tight in her arms she bends her over and kisses her causing the redhead to laugh into the kiss and wrap a hand behind Alex's head and kiss her again. Flipping her back up right she hears Caroline giggle and sees a now laughing Serena and Abbie.

Without missing a beat, Casey asks, "Did you enjoy the show?"

Serena laughs, "Enough to take a picture!" Abbie just shakes her head and says, "Alexandra there was a child present. Now, who is more of a child than an adult?"

"Still everyone but you honey," Serena laughs as Abbie scowls and throws herself into an arm chair. "There is no winning with you two!" The brunette grumbles.

"Ah, but I love you just the way you are honey. Did you ever stop to think that I wouldn't like you enough to marry you if you were so serious?" Serena asks with a smile.

"Okay, fine." Abbie grumbles but still kisses Serena.

Unexpectedly, Kim emerges from her and Owen's room. "What have you been cooking?" she asks with no inflection in her tone so it is hard to read her mood.

"Um that depends, do you hate the smell?" Alex replies hesitantly looking at Casey with a little fear in her eyes.

Kim quirks an eyebrow still trying to decipher the smell through her new heightened senses finally it clicks. A look of pure excitement and supreme happiness comes across Kim's face as she claps her hands together much to the shock and surprise of everyone since it is so unlike the serious brunette. "Pancakes!" she exclaims, "I smell pancakes. I want some. You make them Alex you cook them for Care-bear all the time, make me some please."

"Oh my God, what did Owen give you, I want some!" Abbie calls out to Kim regarding her sudden super happiness, as she crosses the room quickly to take a seat at the island counter with Caroline. Kim quickly turns to face Abbie with an evil look in her eyes and replies, "Um yeah, he gave me demon spawn 1 and 2 so no not sharing any of that with you if you get my drift." Abbie pales about ten shades as Serena bursts out into a fit of laughter quickly joined by Casey and Alex.

Trying to change the subject, Casey asks, "So Kim, where is Owen?"

With a wave of the hand Kim replies, "Out running the beach probably. He has it in his head we are going to have baseball stars so he has to be super fit or some nonsense. I tried to tell him he has at least five years before he has to worry about that, but no such luck. Now, where are those yummy pancakes?"

* * *

Later that afternoon, Casey sat on the beach next to Caroline making a sand castle while Alex, Abbie, and Owen were trying who could out swim the other. Watching the three was becoming increasingly funny as after every lap one of them was claiming the winner had cheated. In truth, Owen could most likely out swim both women, but was holding back for the fun of it.

Hearing someone walking up behind her, Casey turns to see Serena. "Kim is sleeping again. I didn't know being pregnant could make you so tired." Serena said sitting next to Casey to watch the other three in the water.

"Yeah, pregnancy takes it out of you. I remember when I was pregnant with Caroline it was all I could do to not fall asleep at work during the first trimester. After that I felt great though until about month eight then I was just ready to have her out of me." Casey replied with a laugh.

Serena looks over at the redhead. Finally she asks, "Do you want more kids Case?"

"Yes, of course I do. Why would you think I wouldn't" Casey asks.

"I didn't think you wouldn't, I just asked." Serena replied playing with a shell in the sand. The blonde is really avoiding what she wants to talk to Casey which she feels is rather childish. At last, Serena asks, "Casey, what I am avoiding asking you is do you know what you're doing having Alex move in with you? I know it's not an eloquent way to ask you, but I am really worried about you and Alex. I don't want you two to rush into something and you to get hurt Casey. I hate to ask you, but I just need to know that you are sure."

Casey watches Alex in the water for a bit before answering. Alex, Abbie, and Owen are now splashing each other in the waves. She is laughing and having so much fun. Seeing her like this just makes Casey's heart fill more with love for her blonde. She doesn't doubt that she is in love with Alex, which gives her the courage to answer.

Looking at Serena, Casey answers, "To be honest, no I don't know what I am doing Serena. But, do any of us know what we are doing really? What I can tell you is I am in love with Alex, and I love being with her. She makes me so happy, and seeing her happy makes me even happier. So, in the end, I don't really care if anyone else thinks it's the right or proper thing to do, because at the end of the day it's the right thing for Alex and I to do."

Serena smiles at her friend. She might still agree with Abbie that it isn't a good idea, but she can respect her friend's logic. "Okay, Casey. I just wanted to know that you had thought it through, and you clearly have so I will support you." Serena says wrapping an arm around Casey's shoulder.

"Thanks, it means a lot."

* * *

That evening everyone sat on a blanket on the beach to watch the fireworks. Every couple situated on their respective blanket watching the best part of the Fourth together. Casey and Alex sat next to each other with Caroline in between them as the colorful explosions lit up the night sky.

Alex loved fireworks since she was a child, but watching them with Casey and Caroline made her love them in a whole new way. Seeing the awe in Caroline's eyes as she watches the fireworks go off seems to make the experience all that more special. Then just watching Casey's face light up with each blast makes Alex love her even more. Bending her head down, she laughs at the cheesiness of her own thoughts.

Casey sees Alex duck her head laughing and wonders what the blonde could possibly find so funny. Leaning into her girlfriends ear she whispers, "What is so funny baby?"

"My thoughts," Alex's whispers back. Turning her head to look at Casey, Alex smiles knowing she's been caught and won't hide the truth.

Casey looks into her girlfriends eyes. No matter where she is or what she looks like she is the most beautiful person Casey has ever seen. "A penny for them?" Casey asks as a beautiful blue firework lights up the night sky.

"Mommy, it's your favorite!" Caroline says pointing up. Smiling Casey replies, "Good eyes sweetie you are right!" As she finishes she looks back to Alex.

Alex smiles, "For you Case they are always free. I was just thinking about how ridiculously in love with you I am."

Casey runs her hand up behind Alex's head and pulls her in for a kiss. Hearing Caroline squeal in delight they break the kiss to see what firework has caused the little girl so much joy. As Casey watches the firework diminish in the sky she looks at Alex. Leaning in again to Alex's ear she whispers, "I love you so much. Thank you for being in my life and in Caroline's."

Whispering back into Casey's ear Alex said, "I will be in your life as long as you want me Casey."

After the fireworks, Casey and Alex carried a very sleepy Caroline to bed. Working together, they quickly got the little girl bathed and dressed for bed. It didn't take long for her fall asleep once Alex laid her down. The blonde had barely begun Sweet Caroline when she noticed the little girls breathing even out. Walking to her and Casey's room she smiled thinking about how much of a routine she and Casey had gotten into with Caroline in such a short amount of time.

Entering their room, Alex finds Casey already in her pajamas asleep on the bed with a book. Shaking her head, she walks over to take the book out of her girlfriend's hands. Looking down at the slumbering woman, Alex smiles and brushes a strand of red hair from Casey's face. She knows that Casey was trying to stay up for her and couldn't manage. It had been a long day in the sun and then a late night watching the fireworks. Honestly she was amazed they'd all made it as long as they had.

Standing she walks into the bathroom and quickly brushes her teeth and puts on her own pajamas. Walking back into the bedroom she turns off the light and slowly pulls the covers out from under Casey not wanting to wake her. Covering Casey up, Alex crawls into bed. Pulling the sleeping woman into her arms Alex takes a deep breath of her perfume and sighs. Without a doubt she loves Casey Novak and will one day marry her.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Omg, you all crack me up with your reviews. Anyway, here is the next installment. It was one giant chapter, but I broke it into two just to make it easier in case you didn't have enough time to finish it. Enjoy!**

* * *

**One month later, August 14…**

Casey lay in bed reading a book and listening to the rain fall outside her bedroom windows. Sighing deeply she laid the book on the nightstand and rolled over to look at the empty side of the bed. Pulling Alex's pillow over she takes deep breath stealing what feels like the last remaining smell of her girlfriend from the linen. She missed Alex terribly.

It had only been two days but to Casey it felt like it had been a lifetime. Alex had traveled to Attica to go over testimony with an inmate relating to a current case, and was expected to arrive home tomorrow. Casey could hardly wait. She was so ready to have Alex back in her arms. Plus, Caroline's birthday was on the 16th and Alex would make it home in time.

Rolling onto her back Casey watches the rain continue fall outside. Alex had only officially moved in about a month ago and it surprised Casey how easy of an adjustment it was for the two of them. Granted they did have a few disagreements when she moved in, but all had been worked out. Casey smiled remembering the first hurdle they'd overcome.

_Casey was pacing__the back courtyard while Caroline played in the playhouse. As usual Casey was trying desperately to burn off her frustration through pacing. She wanted to calm down some before her blonde girlfriend arrived home. Hearing Alex open the door from the kitchen and walk outside with her typical greeting of, "Hello my two favorite redheads!" Casey scowled._

_Seeing how displeased her girlfriend was with her Alex approached Casey with caution. "Case, did I do something to upset you at work today?" Alex asked. She figured it was the most reasonable option since they hadn't been home all day, but she was still a little confused since they'd split caseloads before July. _

_Casey instantly huffed at Alex's wrong guess, "Work Alex, really? I only saw you for like fifteen minutes on lunch and that is your guess. Try again." Casey really wasn't sure why she was being so hostile, it was more that she felt insulted by Alex than anything else and it hit her in every raw spot possible. Finally she sits at the outdoor table and laying her head down. So much for putting up a decent argument she just doesn't feel like arguing._

_Tentatively Alex sits next to her and places a hand on her shoulder. "Casey, I don't mean to sound dense babe, but I really have no idea what I did to upset you. I would like to know though so I can begin the groveling process to fix my offense." Getting no response the blonde brushes a handful of red hair away from her girlfriends face and kisses her cheek, "Please Casey tell me."_

_Casey sits back up and sighs, "Why did you hire a maid? Do I really suck at cleaning that bad that you felt the need to hire someone to clean up after us?" As she finishes she hangs her head feeling quite foolish._

_Alex can't help but laugh causing Casey to look up with a disapproving look. "I am so sorry Casey," Alex begins and trying to cease her laughing, "I didn't hire a maid because you suck at cleaning. I've always had a maid so ending her cleaning services at my former apartment I just brought her over here instead of let her go."_

_Casey smiles and shakes her head, "So you don't think I suck at cleaning?"_

"_No, but I know I hate to clean. I would much rather spend my time doing other things than cleaning a toilet or dusting." Alex admits with a light laugh. _

Almost every hurdle they'd had encountered was easily handled. It was a major contrast to when she and John had begun living together. Alex had never spent the night on the couch whereas when she and John would argue he often took the couch and a day to cool off before discussing the matter again. She and Alex had a tendency to avoid the pointless arguing and instead handle their problems rationally and go straight to the makeup sex. Honestly, she preferred her and Alex's way of handling things.

Snuggling up with Alex's pillow Casey settles into the cool sheets and lets the sound of the rain begin to ease her to sleep. Taking deep breaths she imagines that it is Alex she is holding onto she can't wait until tomorrow night when it really will be. Soon she is drifting into a deep slumber.

_Casey looks over at Alex. They are driving down a winding road. Casey doesn't remember where they are going but she is happy. Alex and Caroline are singing along to some song on the radio while they make their way. Casey keeps trying to remember where they are headed but she can't. _

_Suddenly it is night and Alex is still driving. Casey looks into the backseat not hearing Caroline anymore. Her little girl is sleeping and seems so peaceful. Looking back at Alex, she smiles and starts to ask where they are headed when she notices it is snowing. Casey can feel her heartbeat speed up. Looking around the vehicle she realizes they are in the old Range Rover. They are in the Range Rover and driving in the snow. Something isn't right. Starting to feel like she can't breathe Casey looks over to Alex to tell her they need to pull over but it's too late the car begins to spin and roll down the mountain._

_Once the descent is over, Casey feels the familiar feelings. The pain in her head and right arm, the sticky sensation of blood, however, looking over to the driver's side the memory changes. It's not John its Alex. _

_It's Alex in the seat with the windshield wiper through her chest. It's Alex. Alex has been taken from her this time, the love of her life. Casey can't even think rationally, she just begins to scream. Everything is wrong. How did they get in the car? Why is Alex not waking up? Why is this happening?_

Suddenly Casey is being shaken awake. Opening her eyes she sees Alex over her. Realizing its Alex, and that she is alive Casey begins to cry uncontrollably. Alex sits on the bed and pulls Casey tight into her arms while she rocks her back and forth and kisses her head reassuring her that everything is okay. She has no idea what Casey was dreaming but whatever it was it must have scared her.

While soothing Casey, Alex kept mentally thanking god that she decided to come home early. Granted she was exhausted from not sleeping and driving all night, but she wasn't sleeping in the hotel either, so she decided to be reckless at midnight and pack her things and make the drive home. She and Casey had already arranged the day off work to shop for the supplies they needed for Caroline's birthday party so she figured she could steal a nap at some point today, and the best part was she could nap with Casey.

Finally feeling Casey settle down, Alex whispered, "Want to talk about it?" Casey just looked into Alex's blue eyes with her redden puffy ones. Alex didn't wait for her to say anything before she pressed her lips to Casey's. She could tell that Casey needed a moment to just feel close to her so Alex kissed her softly enjoying the softness her lips. Breaking the kiss after a minute she kisses away Casey's remaining tears. Looking into her eyes she waits for the redhead to speak.

"I dreamt we were in a car accident, _the car accident_, except it was you in John's place this time." Casey finally whispers. Taking a breath she continues, "For a few months after the accident I would relive the nightmare in my dreams, although, I haven't dreamt about it since moving back to the city. I don't know what made me dream about it now or with you being the one killed, but seeing you like that…I-I just wanted to die too," pausing to look right into Alex's eyes Casey adds, "I didn't want to live without you Alex."

Running her fingers through Casey's hair Alex whispers, "Case, its okay it was just a dream. I am fine and I am here with you now. I love you so much Casey." She continues to hold Casey for another couple of minutes before she hears Caroline's bedroom door open from down the hall. Casey looks up at Alex with a big grin on her face she knows her daughter is going to be ecstatic to see Alex home early since she thought she wouldn't see her until after school today.

As the little girl enters the room she rubs her sleepy eyes removing her hands she spots the blonde on the bed, and Casey and Alex watch as her face goes from confusion to excitement. "Alex!" Caroline squeals as she runs and jumps on the bed. Pulling the little girl between them Alex, Caroline, and Casey snuggle on the bed. Caroline immediately goes to playing with Alex's long blonde hair while Casey looks lovingly into her girlfriend's eyes.

"So how is this even possible? I wasn't expecting you home until noon at the earliest." Casey states.

Alex gets a super guilty look on her face and confesses, "Don't get mad but it was kind of impossible to sleep without you Case, so I might have decided after tossing and turning for a couple of hours to pack my bag and head home at midnight."

"Alexandra Cabot, you haven't slept at all?" Casey exclaims.

"No, but I figured after Care-bear went to school you and I could take a long nap."

"Hmm, I like the way you think counselor. It has been a long two days without you," Casey replies kissing Alex quickly before jumping out of bed. "Come on Care-bear. Let's let Alex get a shower and get to bed. She has to be exhausted and we need her well rested for tomorrow sweetie."

Caroline frowns at Alex. The blonde smiles and says, "Aw, Caroline, I promise sweetie we will play as much as you want when you get home today." The little girl nods, but still looks sad as she climbs off the bed to join Casey. Watching the scene unfold in front of her is more than Alex can handle and soon she is running after them. "Wait! I am making pancakes!" she calls out.

* * *

That afternoon Casey and Alex made their way through the party store. "There are so many options Casey I think we should just do a Disney princess theme." Alex suggests.

"Yeah baby, I agree. Next year though, I think we should plan way ahead. This was a little to last minute for me." Casey responds. Looking over the still multiple plate choices she mentally says 'fuck it' and grabs five stacks of dinner plates, dessert plates, and stacks of beverage napkins and dinner napkins. Turning to Alex with a devilish smiles she says, "Okay, I did my part, now you are in charge of figuring out silverware, cup choices and decorations."

"Oh really?" Alex questions, "And where are you going pray tell?"

Casey walks backwards down the aisle smiling wide at Alex, "To the best aisle of all of course! I am going to go make the party favors!"

Alex looks hurt with the list of what they need in her hands, "Hey! No fair! Help me then we can do the fun part together."

"Not a chance Cabot. That part is to stressful! Hurry up and meet me over on aisle 10." Casey says jogging off.

Alex looks helplessly at the wall. How had she managed to draw the short stick when she didn't even know they were drawing? Quickly grabbing a giant box of silverware, two giant packs of solo cups, and jumbo size pack of Disney princess theme décor she walks down to Casey's aisle. Reaching the aisle she finds Casey standing just as confused looking as she was on the previous aisle. Walking up the redhead she softly asks, "Just as stressed as you were on the last aisle?"

Casey turns to face Alex, "Seriously? It took you less than a minute to figure that stuff out?"

"I will admit I didn't put much thought into it. I just threw stuff in the cart with Disney princesses on it. Plus, it took you no time to figure out the plate and napkin thing so what are you talking about?" Alex questions with a quirked eyebrow.

Looking through the cart Casey sees that together just aimlessly throwing stuff in the cart they did a pretty good job. Smiling at Alex, Casey admits, "So this is Caroline's first real birthday party and I haven't done this whole buying party stuff for her past parties. I got a little overwhelmed back there and threw stuff in and bolted thinking this aisle would be easier. It's harder Alex."

Alex laughs, "Casey you are so silly sometimes." Pulling her girlfriend into her arms she kisses her and says, "Why didn't you just tell me all that from the start?"

"I don't know. I really didn't expect it to be so overwhelming." Casey answers laying her head on Alex's shoulder with a chuckle.

Alex quickly browses through their cart. "For winging it I think we did pretty well. So why don't we try to figure this whole party favor thing out together. We can't screw it up to bad right? I mean they are what four years old so how bad of a judge could they be, right?"

Casey laughs at the truth in the blondes words. After about another ten minutes they figured out the favors and bought the balloons. Now all they had to do was get the cake and Caroline.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Second half of the last chapter…I hope you enjoy! I loved writing this chapter! Let me know what you think.**

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That evening Alex and Casey sat downstairs of the sofa in the family room with Caroline sleeping curled up next to Alex. The wedding scene of The Little Mermaid was playing on the television in the background as Alex ran her fingers through the little girl's hair. Casey sat quietly watching Alex with Caroline at this moment. Every time she saw her daughter and her girlfriend in a situation like this she could see how much love Alex had in her heart for Caroline.

"She really missed you while you were away. We both did." Casey whispers. Alex smiles at Casey's words. "I missed you both terribly. I don't understand how some parents travel for work. I would be forever miserable and probably have to take pills to sleep." Alex replied sincerely.

Pushing Alex's hair behind her ear and tilting her face up to look into her eyes, Casey says, "Why don't we get her up to bed? We are going to have a super busy day tomorrow."

"Yeah I think you are right. Let's head to bed."

* * *

**The next afternoon…**

Opening the door to Casey and Alex's house, Kim and Owen instantly freeze. There are shrieks of joy coming from all directions and little people running all over. Slowly making their way to the kitchen they arrive to find Abbie and Serena standing next to the refrigerator. Abbie looks a little scared while Serena has a warm smile on her face. Moving to stand next to the other couple, Owen says, "There are way too many little people here."

Kim huffs pointing to her stomach, "Owen this is too many little people," pointing her finger out at the frenzied scene she continues, "that is a zoo of little people."

Abbie can't hold back her laughter, "Greylek hit the nail on the head. It is a zoo of little people in here. I don't think I've ever hated the rain so much."

"Have either of you seen Casey or Alex?" Owen asks.

Serena nudges Abbie out of the way so she can open the fridge and grab herself a beer while answering his question, "Last I saw them they were headed downstairs to set up some more toys for the kids. I bet you twenty bucks next year this shindig is at a kid's party place or a playground. You want a beer?"

Owen nods, accepting one and taking water for Kim. Serena quickly asks, "So did you find out during the ultrasound?" Kim smiles at Owen with a hand on her now clearly showing belly.

Owen nods while Kim answers, "Yes, we were able to find out, but we have a very special way to tell everyone."

"Hey that's great you two. Just let me know what color I need to order their boots in!" Abbie exclaims.

From behind them they hear, "Uncle Owen! Aunt Kim!" turning they see Caroline in Casey's arms.

"I finally caught the birthday girl and brought her to say hello." Casey huffed, clearly a little worn out. Setting the little one down to say hello, she decided to take a seat to rest for one minute.

"So where did you leave Alex, Case?" Serena asks.

"She is downstairs in the midst of the madness. By the way Abbie, she is asking for you. She says if she ever needed your craziness it is now. So tag your it." Casey says taking the brunette's beer and taking a big swig.

"You owe me Red." Abbie says walking away to help her best friend. Heading down the stairs Abbie finds Alex in the midst of probably fifteen kids although it feels more like a million at the moment with them all squealing and excited about playing a game. Alex is going over the rules of what seems to be some sort of preschool friendly treasure hunt. Sending the little ones on their way Alex walks over to Abbie.

"Thank you I needed someone who could help me supervise crazy-ville." Alex admitted.

"And why is that me and not Casey, you know Caroline's mother?" Abbie asks.

Alex frowns at her friend, "Casey had to go get the food and cake set up, it you would rather be upstairs with the others you are welcome to go Abbie, I just wanted to hang out with my best friend."

"Alex I am sorry that came out really wrong," Abbie says smacking her hand to her head, "I really didn't mean it like that. I was just wondering why you are down here monitoring all the kids with Casey sitting upstairs relaxing. I didn't realize she was working too. I just seemed like you were playing the mom role."

Alex touches her friends shoulder, "Don't worry about it Abbie. Hopefully one day I will actually be another mom to her anyway."

"Whoa Cabot, what does that mean?" Abbie asks cautiously.

"It doesn't mean anything Abbie other than I could see myself marrying Casey one day. I love her Abbie and I am amazingly happy with Casey and Caroline. I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with them is all." Alex replies.

Abbie nods breathing an internal sigh of relief. She loves her best friend and Casey; she just highly doubts Casey is anywhere near ready to get married again. Honestly she was shocked they'd survived moving in together. Maybe Serena was right and these two knew what they were doing after all.

After the games and cake, Caroline sat down to open her presents. Casey was reading off the cards while the little girl opened them. She opens one from Abbie and Serena finding a new set of princess dress up clothes, then the next from Kim and Owen which is a beautiful Ariel doll. Casey grabs the next present and looks at the tag a little confused.

Alex sees Casey's state and asks, "What is it Case?" The room quiets down a little while Casey still examines the card and Caroline begins tearing into the present suddenly it clicks and Casey looks up smiling.

"It says Happy Birthday Caroline, can't wait to meet you, Love, Nolan and James! You are having boys!" Casey exclaims at Owen and Kim as tears stream down her cheeks. Caroline finishes unwrapping the present to find twin baby boy baby dolls.

Casey jumps up and hugs Owen and then Kim touching her belly and saying hi to babies Nolan and James. Alex quickly steps in to continue helping with opening the presents so their home can clear out again. About thirty minutes later that goal is achieved.

* * *

Later that evening after their friends had gone home and the house was cleaned up, Casey started the bath for Caroline while Alex laid out her new pair of pajamas she'd gotten for her birthday. Alex walked into the bathroom with Caroline in tow and sat down on the edge of the tub. Casey's sits back to eye Alex, she knows her girlfriend has done something she just can't put her finger on it. Finally smiling she asks, "What?"

"I made you a nice hot bubble bath complete with a glass of wine. I thought the wonderful woman who provided this world with a beautiful princess Caroline deserved to be pampered today as well." Alex says proudly.

Laughing a little with a big smile Casey gives Alex a quick peck to the lips and thanks her. Scooping Caroline up in her arms she gives her little girl a big hug and kiss and tells her that she is so thankful for her and will be back in a bit. Quickly she makes her way to her waiting tub.

Undressing and sinking her sore body into the warm water she begins to relax. Today was definitely an action packed day between Alex's castle shaped pancake disaster, to decorating and the unexpected rain with too many little children in their home. Luckily Alex thought quick and suggested they bring the playhouse inside, Casey owed her one for that lifesaver.

Oh and Casey can't forget finding out that Demon Spawn 1 &amp; 2 have officially gained names of sweet babies Nolan and James. Funny how finding out what their babies were and getting to actually see them looking like babies not blobs quickly changed Kim's perspective on them, although, it quite possibly could be the fact that she isn't sick anymore too. This time next year they will actually be here with them on Caroline's birthday. She can't wait for her brother and Kim to have their babies it reminds her of how happy she and John were when Caroline was born. John…

Casey closes her eyes tight and sets her wine down with a shaky hand. Sitting up in the tub she pulls her legs up to her chest as she starts to cry. She feels like the worse wife ever. Not once today had she thought of him. It's their daughter's birthday and she literally probably wouldn't have thought of him once had it not been for Owen and Kim and the twins. What the hell was wrong with her? This was their daughters first birthday without him and she didn't once think of the man who helped make that beautiful little girl.

Casey just continued to cry until she realized that she had to pull herself together to go kiss Caroline goodnight. Climbing out of the tub, she quickly got herself dry and dressed. Walking down the hall she encountered Alex walking out of Caroline's room.

"Casey, I am sorry she fell asleep while I was reading to her. I just looked down and she was out. I am sorry babe I should have come and gotten you when she got out of the tub." Alex apologizes. Realizing Casey looks like she's been crying Alex asks, "Casey, are you okay?"

Not saying a word, Casey walks around Alex and into her daughter's bedroom. Walking over to her daughter she leans down and kisses the little girls head. As she pulls back she whispers super quietly to not wake her, I love you so much baby girl and so did your daddy. Quietly she leaves her daughter to sleep.

Walking back down the hall to her and Alex's room she climbs into bed. About ten minutes later she is joined by Alex. The blonde wastes no time pulling her tight into her arms resting her head in the crook of Casey's neck. Alex whispers, "I love you Casey. I understand you don't want to talk to me right now about what is bothering you, but I want you to know that no matter what I love you."

All Casey can say is, "I love you too Alex. Thank you for everything." She wants to tell Alex what she realized in the tub, but she doesn't even know where to begin.

It also strikes Casey that Alex was sweet enough to draw a bath for her as a thank you for bringing Caroline into this world. John hadn't ever done anything like that. Maybe it was just that Alex treated her so well that she didn't have to reminisce about John. Although she felt guilty that she was realizing more and more that she almost never thought of him. Closing her eyes she wished that she could just be happy and not guilty for one month with Alex.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: I love your reviews! And I am greatly enjoying writing this story! So enjoy!**

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**Three weeks later, September…**

Alex stands in Caroline's doorway after getting her to sleep. She smiles seeing her height measurements growing up now with Caroline's next to it and recent height measurements of her and Casey. Caroline thought since they were marking her height that they needed to update Alex's and take Casey's as well. It was a fun Saturday afternoon.

She and Casey had encountered a few ups and downs since Caroline's birthday, but nothing they couldn't seem to handle. In all honesty, Alex felt like she and Casey were closer than ever. Life is really working out for them.

Walking down the hall towards their bedroom Alex stopped at the hall table at the top of the stairs. Looking at the pictures of them it really made Alex feel like they were a family. The ones of her and Casey wrapped in each other's arms at a Mets game and ones of them with Caroline at the beach during the Fourth said it all. She loved them like family and that was enough to make it so in her book.

Entering the master, Alex freezes seeing Casey. The redhead is sitting in the bed with her current case file in her lap and a pen behind her ear with a big frown on her face. Despite her frown she looked beautiful. "The case got you down babe?" Alex asks resuming her path to the bed.

"Ugh, you have no idea. This Sweeny kid is a sadistic menace. I mean he rapes a kid with a frat paddle and I have the fraternity ledger in his writing detailing the assault, but can't use it because it was quote unquote stolen. Preston is driving me mad with this!" Casey answers closing the file and tossing it on the nightstand.

"Trial starts tomorrow right?" Alex asks with a look in her eyes as she crawls across the bed to Casey.

Casey smirks, "Why yes it does Counselor."

Climbing in between Casey's legs Alex smiles biting her bottom lip as she runs her hands up Casey's legs to her hips and pulls her down into her, "Good, because that means you need to relax, and I have just the thing in mind." Finishing her statement Alex runs her hands under the hem of Casey's shirt and quickly pulls it from her body.

Coming down from their highs, Casey and Alex lay in each other arms. Casey had her head on Alex's chest enjoying the sound of her girlfriend's heartbeat as it slowed. Pushing up on her elbows Casey looked lovingly into Alex's eyes with a lazy smile on her face.

Seeing Casey, Alex smiled, "What is it?"

"Mm, I love you. Oh, and I think we should go on a vacation somewhere romantic." Casey suggests. Alex brushes a stray lock of red hair behind Casey's ear, "When would you want to go?"

"Would end of October be enough time to plan? We could go for a long weekend? Only take a few days off?"

Leaning in to kiss Casey softly enjoying the feel of her lips Alex says, "Sounds perfect. I think I know the perfect place to go. It's a bed and breakfast about an hour and a half away. My mother and I use to go there after my father died. It's a really special place to me and I would love to take you there."

"Let's go," Casey says entwining her fingers with Alex's. "Alex, I am sorry for how difficult I have been the last couple of weeks. I have been dealing with some skeletons you could say."

Alex frowns at Casey, and whispers, "Case, you can talk to me about anything. I have told you I am always here for you."

"I know Alex, but this is internal and there isn't anything you can do to fix it. It's something I have to deal with. The best thing you can do for me is just be you. So thank you for being you and loving me through everything." Casey replies quietly.

Smiling at Casey, Alex pulls Casey in for a kiss and then says, "I will love you forever, no matter what. Although, I do want you to know that you haven't been hard to deal with we have had a few bumps the last couple of weeks, but I honestly feel closer to you now than before Casey. I love you."

"I love you too Alex." Casey says laying her head against the blonde's chest again. Listening to Alex's heartbeat again Casey feels so safe and so loved. Alex holds on tight to Casey she loves her so much that she never wants to let go. It didn't take long for them to fall asleep tangled in each other's arms.

* * *

**The next morning…**

Waking up to the alarm the next morning Casey stretches and nudges her blonde lover awake. "Ugh, why nudge me? I only like to wake up to kisses." Alex groans. Casey smiles as she stands and heads into their bathroom. Turning on the shower she stands in the doorway of the bathroom watching Alex approach, "I am sorry my throat is a little scratchy, I don't want to get you sick if I am coming down with something."

Alex laughs at her girlfriend. "Babe, after last night I am pretty sure that if you are coming down with something I am doomed to catch it. Come on let's get a quick shower so I can make you a cup of tea before you head to court. I will take Care-bear to school and after my motions with Petrovsky today I will bring you some chicken noodle soup while you have lunch."

Wrapping her arms around Alex neck Casey says, "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"Let me ride the elevator with you," Alex says with a chuckle.

After getting ready Alex and Casey head out of their bedroom. As Alex heads downstairs to fix breakfast Casey goes to wake Caroline. She was a little surprised that Caroline was still asleep because normally the little girl would come to their room while they were getting dressed. Opening her door and walking over to wake her up Casey sees how flushed her daughter looks. Placing a hand to her head she can tell Caroline has a fever.

As the little girl wakes up she begins to cry, "Mommy, I don't feel good."

"Oh sweetheart," Casey says scooping the little girl into her arms, "Let's get you downstairs and take your temperature. Does anything hurt?"

"My head and throat," Caroline cries. As they reach the bottom of the stairs Alex comes bounding out of the kitchen hearing Caroline's cries.

"What's wrong?" Alex asks as the tea kettle starts to whistle.

"She has a fever and says her head and throat hurt." Casey starts, "I need to call Owen and see if he is working today. If not he can come over and check her out. Otherwise, I will just have the babysitter take her to the doctor. I wish I didn't have court so I could stay home with her. I have always been home with her when she is sick."

"Casey, don't call the sitter, I will stay home and watch her. I will take her to the doctor as well in case Owen can't come. If she needs antibiotics I will pick them up. If she can't have you she can have me." Alex says removing the kettle from the stove and pouring some water in a cup with a teabag for Casey and fixing another cup for Caroline.

"Alex, you can't, you have motions today?" Casey reminds the blonde.

"Casey, they are just motions. I can send someone else to cover them. I will call Abbie to cover them, she doesn't have court today and I won't be headed to court for at least a week. Caroline having one of us here is way more important than me covering motions." Alex says, quickly adding, "If we both had court that would be one thing but we don't."

"Thank you Alex," Casey replies as the thermometer beeps and Casey reads the temperature, "103. Geez, Care-bear you are super sick. Let me get you some Advil."

"Here Casey," Alex says handing her the cup of tea, "let me get her medicine and call Owen or the pediatrician you go ahead to court before you end up running late. We will be okay babe, right Care-bear?"

Caroline nods her head at Casey and gives her a hug. Casey looks at Alex and quickly places a little kiss to her cheek. "Thank you again Alex," Casey says grabbing her tea, briefcase and keys, "call me as soon as you know what she has and send me text updates. Caroline I love you sweetie and I will be home as soon as I can!"

Watching Casey run out the door, Alex picks Caroline up. "How about we go upstairs and I put something more comfortable on and we go downstairs and watch the Little Mermaid?" Alex asks while she fixes the Advil. Caroline takes the medicine and nods.

* * *

**Later that morning...**

Alex sits in the exam room with Caroline curled into her arms playing with her long blonde hair as they wait for the doctor. The little girl still doesn't feel any better and Alex is starting to get a little worried. Other than a popsicle, Alex has barely been able to get her to drink anything.

Finally, the doctor enters the room with a smile on his face. "Hi Caroline, and Alex I presume? I am Dr. Jason Matthews." He says holding out his hand.

"Alexandra Cabot," Alex replies shaking the doctor's hand. Going over Caroline's symptoms with the doctor, he checks her over. Looking in her mouth he nods, "I think I have found the culprit. Caroline I am going to take a swab of your throat honey. I think you have strep throat."

"Strep is really contagious isn't it?" Alex asks worried about Casey.

"It can be why? Is your throat sore?" Dr. Matthews asks.

"No, but her mother's was this morning. I haven't had strep since I was really little," Alex says. Chuckling a little she adds, "Actually since having my tonsils out."

"Well, that won't make you immune to it, so be mindful, but I will write her mother a prescription for an antibiotic as well since she is in court. We should have the results from the rapid strep test back in 15 to 20 minutes. You can wait if you like or take the prescriptions and we can call you."

"We will wait, that is if you can call in the prescription. That way when we leave the prescription can just be delivered." Alex replies.

The doctor nods and heads out. Alex sends Casey a quick text filling her in on Caroline and then sits back and reads Caroline a book while they wait. About ten minutes later the doctor comes back in the room.

"It's strep, so we went ahead and called in the prescriptions. Lots of sleep, fluids, and love along with the antibiotics and she should be feeling ship shape in no time." Dr. Matthews relays.

Alex stands with Caroline, "Thank you doctor, I will keep you posted."

* * *

**That afternoon…**

Casey walked back to her office during the recess for lunch. She was due back in the court room in an hour and all she wanted to do was go home and go to bed. Her throat was starting to hurt worse but she was toughing through it. Part of her wondered if it was all in her head because she received the text from Alex saying Caroline had strep, but she didn't know for sure.

Arriving at her office she found her secretary walking out. "Hey Margaret," Casey asks, "Were you looking for me?"

"Oh Mrs. Novak, I was just dropping off some soup and medicine Ms. Cabot sent over for you." Margaret answers with a smile.

Casey smiles and blushes a little, "Thank you Margaret." Walking into her office and seeing the soup container from her favorite soup restaurant and a prescription bottle Casey pulls her phone from her pocket. Sitting at her desk and removing the lid from the soup she calls Alex.

"Hey babe, did you get the soup and meds?" Alex asks when she answers the call.

"I did thank you. How is Caroline?"

"She's good, curled up in our bed with me now. We decided after some soup of our own that a nap with Bubble Guppies in the big bed would be best." Alex replies.

"Ah, I see. Well thank you baby for everything today. I ran past Abbie while leaving the courthouse. She said to tell you she nailed all of the motions." Casey relays taking a small bite of soup.

"Glad to hear it. Well, I will let you eat. I know you are probably fast running out of time. Don't forget to take your medicine."

"I will take it right now. Thank you again Alex. I love you."

"I love you too Casey."

Hanging up the phone Casey looks at the photo of Alex holding Caroline in the window at the beach. She loved that picture of them so much. You could see how much they both loved each other. Casey and Caroline were so fortunate to have Alex in their lives. She honestly didn't know where she would be without Alex.

* * *

**Later that evening…**

Casey had run into an issue in court that afternoon when her complaining witness had been torn apart practically on the stand. She left court and headed straight to the precinct to try and figure out something with the squad on finding more evidence she could use in court to crucify the defendant. The meeting quickly ended up with her practically begging Elliot for help which was a little humiliating. If tomorrow didn't go well in court then she would surely lose her case.

Arriving home after 8:30, Casey headed straight up to her and Alex's room. Finding her bedroom empty she walked down the hall to Caroline's room. Opening the door she found Alex asleep in the chair with a sleeping Caroline in her arms. Her heart ached with love for the blonde. Alex had clearly fallen asleep rocking and singing to Caroline.

Walking across the room, she picked her little girl up and carried her to bed tucking her in for the night. Then she turned back to the rocking chair and lightly pressed a kiss to Alex's cheek and whispered, "Baby, wake up it's time to go to bed" Alex opened her eyes with a start until she realized where she was and that it was Casey speaking to her. Smiling she stood and followed Casey out of the room.

In the hallway, Alex whispered to Casey, "Are you hungry? I still have some soup if you are?" Casey nodded yes and followed Alex down to the kitchen. Entering the kitchen Casey sat down at the table and while Alex quickly heated up the soup and made Casey some chamomile tea.

"Are you feeling any better?" Alex asked setting everything down in front of Casey.

Casey looked lovingly at Alex, "No, but I am super fortunate to have this gorgeous blonde girlfriend that spoils me and send me medicine and soup to work. Not to mention, when I come home even after she has had a long day she makes me soup and tea so I am sure I will be on the mend before I know it."

"Well, I am sure she does all of those things for you because she is crazy in love with you." Alex replies with a smile squeezing Casey's hand.

"Then I think we are both super lucky because I am crazy in love with you, I mean her too!" Casey replies with a small laugh and a cringe of pain.

"Aw babe, let me get you some Advil too. It really helped Care-bear. The doctor said after 24 hours on the antibiotic you both should feel better."

"God I hope so. Talking in court is about to kill me. I really hope you don't get this Alex."

"Honestly, I'd be shocked if I did. I use to get it nonstop as a child until they removed my super infected tonsils after that I haven't had it. My college roommate would get it but never me." Alex says returning with a glass of water and the Advil for Casey.

"I hope you are right."

"I hope I am too Casey. I would hate to be in your position. Strep throat and trying a case, ugh sounds miserable." Alex replies cringing.

"Wow Cabot, I love you too." Casey says shaking her head with a smile.

* * *

**Friday night…**

Alex sat in bed waiting on Casey to finish up with Caroline. Sure enough she had ended up with Strep throat at least she would be over it before Monday when her case went to trial. Watching Casey strut over to the bed she knew what she was about to hear from her girlfriend.

Climbing onto the bed and next to Alex, Casey says, "I won my case."

"You did? Wow, way to go counselor. I guess you have come to claim your victory sex then." Alex replies with a weak smile.

"I would love to say yes, but you do not look like you are in the mood." Casey answers honestly.

Rolling on her side to face Casey, Alex answers, "You would be right. Rain check? I will make it so worth your while."

"I am so on for that rain check. Honestly, I just want to take care of you like you took care of Caroline and me. No one deserves to be taken care of as much as you do Alex." Casey says running her fingers through Alex's hair.

"Thank you so much babe. If that's the case would you mind running me a bath?"

"My pleasure I will be right back baby." Casey says walking into the bathroom and starting the tub. Sitting on the edge she thought over the whole week. Alex truly had been amazing as usual. She still couldn't believe Alex put her case at risk to stay home and care for Caroline. It was the most amazing and selfless thing. Even John wouldn't have moved an elective surgery around to care for her or Caroline. Casey was seriously blessed to have Alex be a part of her life.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Sorry this chapter didn't get posted yesterday. It took me longer than I anticipated but I think you all will enjoy it! Let me know what you think!**

* * *

**Five weeks later, October…**

Casey ran down the hall towards Alex's office, upon reaching the closed door she barges right in not even bothering to knock. Seeing Alex sitting on her couch with an ice pack to her head Casey instantly rushes to her side. "Oh my God Alex, are you okay? I heard you got knocked to the floor and hit your head. I was so scared. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I am fine babe." Alex says reassuringly kissing Casey, "I was just a little stunned and I cut my head when I fell. Honestly, I am more worried about poor Sam. I could tell he was really shook up by seeing that scumbag Barnett."

"I heard you might have another complaining witness."

"No such luck, he passed the statute of limitations. I don't even know why they have a statute set for child molestation. I tell you Casey, I don't know if Sam is strong enough to handle going to trial. He already botched getting Barnett to confess, I set him off trying to talk to him in the squad room, and he seems so uneasy about everything. Like I was saying the other night, I wish I had more time to find someone else, but Liz says push through or move on. I just can't move on from this one Casey, but I am afraid I am going to break this kid." Alex confesses as she leans over into Casey.

Casey wastes no time in wrapping her arms around Alex. Kissing her girlfriend's head she asks, "Are you finished for the day? It sounds like you need to relax and take your mind off of this case. If you are I would love to take you home and draw you a bath. Maybe give you a long massage…"

Alex laughs, "Case that sounds fantastic. I have to go over trial procedure tonight with Sam for court. How about after? Say you get little one to bed and when I get home we can relax and have some fun?"

Casey leans in and kisses Alex taking Alex's bottom lip between hers and pulling her closer at the waist. Breaking the kiss she smiles leaving Alex breathless as she whispers, "I really like that idea."

"I hope so, because if not I am going to have some serious problems later." Alex laughs as Casey stands. Casey gives Alex a wink, "See you in a little while baby. Be safe." Alex smiles watching Casey leave. She is really lucky to have such a wonderful girlfriend.

Walking down the hall Casey decides to stop by Kim's office. Making her way there she wondered what state she would find her expecting sister-in-law in today. At just over halfway through her pregnancy Kim's moods could shift easily from super happy to super emotional. It was an enormously different version of her best friend.

Arriving at her office Casey finds Serena standing in the doorway. "I think it looks great Kim. It's a really nice choice of colors." Serena says to Kim trying to escape the room as Casey places a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you leaving just as I am arriving?" Casey says with an evil grin.

Serena doesn't miss Casey's attempt to keep her around as a buffer. Despite wanting to leave she has a question for her so she has to hang around. "Well, I was but seeing as you are here I want to ask, how is Alex? I heard she got decked in the courthouse today." Serena questions.

"Oh my God, is she okay?" Kim quickly asks sitting up straight in her chair obviously unaware of the day's events.

"She's fine just a cut on her head is all. I think she will be fine, it's just this case is just getting to her. Hopefully she will be able to relax tonight and take her mind off of it. It always helps her to distance herself from the tough cases." Casey says leaning back in her chair.

"That is why I prefer homicide over sex crimes. I would hate to have to deal with live victims." Serena says mournfully.

Kim frowns at her blonde friend. Looking over to Casey she adds, "Well at least in two weeks you and Alex have your long weekend at the B&amp;B, which will be a nice way to put whatever outcome from this trial behind you. Now until then Casey, help me look through these paint colors and fabrics I want the spawn's nursery to be perfect!"

"I'm out!" Serena says quickly standing and running from the office as Casey laughs.

Looking back over to Kim she sees that her sister-in-law looks heartbroken. "Aw Kim, don't let it bother you. People who haven't had babies don't understand." Casey soothes.

"To think I was going to ask her to be Nolan's godmother." Kim gripes as she passes Casey the samples.

"You were asking Serena to be a godmother?" Casey asks.

"Yeah," Kim starts, "Owen was going to ask Richard and Derek from the hospital to be godfathers and I was going to ask you and Serena. Why is something wrong with that? You look a little upset Case."

Casey felt hurt hearing Kim's words, so she was positive she was showing her dislike for her sister-in-laws choice. "I just figured you would ask Alex since she has been such a huge part of all of our lives and doesn't hesitate to run and get you a milkshake when you crave one in the middle of a work day."

Kim rubs her belly and sighs, "Casey it's not that easy. I like Alex a lot and so does Owen, but we are thinking long term."

Casey can feel her face turn red she knows where this is going and she doesn't like it at all. Taking a breath she forces herself to speak calmly, "What does that mean Kim."

"Casey if you and Alex don't work out we don't want the child she is godmother of to suddenly be without a godmother." Kim stated flatly.

Casey stands so fast she almost knocks the chair over. Placing the samples down with a little more force than necessary she says, "You and Owen can go to hell with your constant worrying about Alex and I. I am in love with her and I don't ever intend to lose her. If you two can't respect that then don't bother even asking me to be James is godmother and don't bother asking my girlfriend, the love of my life, to be your milkshake bitch anymore." With that Casey turns to leave Kim's office.

As quickly as she can, Kim stands and starts after the redhead. "Casey, wait! Casey, please slow down! I can't run with the little people weighing me down!"

"What Kimberly?" Casey says turning on her heel to face the brunette.

"Casey," Kim says catching her breath, "Geez, that was hard. Anyway, what I am trying to say is I am sorry first off. It would be different to me if you and Alex were married or hell engaged, but you are just dating. If it bothers you though and makes you think I don't support you then yes I will ask her, because in all honesty if you weren't dating and she was as helpful as she is now then I would ask her. So you and Alex, okay?"

"Did I pressure you Kim?" Casey asks rubbing Kim's belly.

"No, you ran me to death. Now help me and the spawns pick colors and fabric because I am confused and Serena's choices didn't even match." Kim grumbles as they turn to walk back.

"Kim, if you want Serena to be Nolan's godmother you should pick her. It's not my baby and not my choice, I was just more bothered by feeling like you and Owen thought Alex and I were doomed and that's why you weren't asking Alex." Casey admits as they walk in the office.

"Thanks, but I will stick with Alex, she at least likes kids. I am getting the idea that Abbie and Serena are trying to avoid me. It's like they are scared I am going to drop a baby in front of them or something." Kim says sadly.

Casey smiles at her sister-in-law and dishes out the honesty, "Aw, Kim honey that's not it at all. I think they are just scared of you is all. Your moods are all over the place."

Kim suddenly looks up with a big smile, "Really! They are scared of me! Oh my God, Casey best present ever. Thank you! I am totally going to take advantage of that knowledge. Best cases here I come!"

Casey shakes her head. Pregnant Kim was turning out to be a lot of fun. She wondered if Alex would want to carry their baby if they ever decided to get married and have kids. If so, she wondered how she would act pregnant. Either way having a baby with Alex was a nice thought.

* * *

**Later that evening…**

Alex walks upstairs to her and Casey's room. She was so ready for her hot bath and massage. Going over trial procedure with Sam was hard. Honestly Alex didn't know what it was with this kid, but she felt for him on a deep level. She was going to make sure Roy Barnett hung for his actions if it was the last thing she did.

Entering her bedroom she instantly begins to forget about her day. Casey has candles lit around the room and soft music playing and the bedroom smells a little like black currant and vanilla. It is all so amazing and she is so excited about climbing into a warm tub to start unwinding.

Walking into the bathroom she sees Casey already in the tub with a glass of wine. "Hey, I thought the bath was for me?" Alex says jokingly while removing her shoes and then clothes.

"Oh, it is, I just made it and you weren't home so I had to climb in to make sure I could keep it nice and hot to your liking. Although, now that I am here I think you should climb in with me that is unless you would like me to get out." Casey says with a grin watching Alex shake her head no.

Alex walks to the tub and motions for Casey to scoot forward. Casey very willingly complies with Alex's request. Climbing in the tub Alex lets out a moan of pleasure from the warm heat of the water enveloping her as she sits down. Getting comfortable she pulls Casey back into her arms kissing her shoulders and neck. "I have been looking forward to this all evening," Alex says as Casey turns enough to kiss her lightly.

Alex runs her hands up Casey's abdomen to her breasts cupping them both and pinching her nipples simultaneously. As Casey arches up at the sensation Alex lightly bites her neck quickly soothing the mark with her tongue. Alex runs her hands back down Casey's abdomen to her knees, and then lightly drags her nails up Casey's thighs causing the redhead to whimper from the sensation. "Alex I am supposed to be taking care of you." Casey says breathlessly as Alex repeats the sensation.

Alex stops kissing Casey's neck and softly says, "Hmm, you still can, I just wanted to start here first." As she finishes her statement she runs her fingers through Casey's wet center. "Oh Jesus Casey you are so wet."

"I know I couldn't stop thinking of all the things I wanted to do to you." Casey replies with a moan at the end as Alex rubs her fingers around Casey's clit.

"What were you thinking about?" Alex questions in a breathy voice as she continues to rub Casey's clit loving how she is turning the redhead into a panting mess in such a little amount of time. She watches a red flush begin to cover Casey's chest as her legs begin to stiffen as she tries to press herself further into Alex's hand.

"Casey, what were you thinking about?" Alex questions again. She knows Casey is incapable of answering but she wants the thoughts running through her head. Kissing down Casey's neck and rolling a nipple through her fingers she hears her lovers gasps for air turn to whimpers and feels her body start to shake she knows Casey is close. Running her tongue up Casey's neck to her ear Alex whispers, "Come for me Casey, come." As if Alex's words were all the redhead needed Casey begins to let the first of many loud moans escape her as her whole body trembles in Alex's arms. Alex holds on tight while Casey rides out her orgasm.

Casey lies in Alex's arms catching her breath. Finally she speaks, "When I can stand I am taking you into that bedroom."

"Oh you are, and what do you intend to do babe?" Alex asks with a smirk. Looking into Alex's eyes, Casey huskily says, "I plan to make you come like you never have before." Alex swallows thickly. The look on Casey's face says she is dead serious.

Suddenly, Casey pushes up and stands, stepping out of the tub. Lightly drying off, Casey hands Alex the towel while finishing her wine. Alex drops the towel and lies back in the tub slowly drinking her wine. "What are you doing Alex?" Casey asks.

"Finishing my wine, why do you need me?" Alex asks teasing Casey. Casey smiles picking up on Alex's game, "Nope I can take care of myself." Alex's eyes go wide as she sits up in the tub and watches Casey walk into the bedroom and lie down on the bed.

Quickly finishing her wine Alex climbs out of the tub barely drying off with the towel before she follows Casey into the room. "I thought you were taking care of yourself." Alex states.

"I was waiting on you to join me." Casey says as Alex climbs on the bed and straddles Casey.

"Oh you were, were you? So you were luring me out of that wonderful tub Counselor?" Alex asks as Casey sits up to kiss the blonde. "Yes, I was, but I will make it up to you." Casey replies kissing Alex again this time deepening the kiss tangling her tongue with Alex's. As she begins to break the kiss Casey takes Alex's bottom lip between her teeth pulling away slowly.

Kissing down Alex's neck Casey supports her with a hand as Alex leans back a little to give Casey access to her breasts. Moving to a stiff bud Casey runs the tip of her tongue around it before taking it into her mouth causing Alex to gasp. As she moves to the other breast she runs her hand down towards Alex's hot center scrapping her nails lightly over the blonde's toned abdomen. Knowing where Casey is headed, Alex pants, "Oh yes Casey," as she adjusts her hips to give Casey better access.

Reaching her destination, Casey lets Alex's nipple go and sits back a little to watch as she runs her fingers through Alex's waiting wetness. Alex watches while a whimper escapes her lips the small touch causing her to ache wanting more contact. "Please Casey, I need more," she begs.

Pulling her now wet fingers from Alex she sucks them slowly tasting her lover's arousal. Lying back down onto the pillows she slides two fingers into Alex causing her to hiss in pleasure as she presses her fingers against Alex's g-spot. Casey begins to move her fingers against the sensitive area as Alex rolls her hips as she lets her sounds of pleasure escape her.

Casey watches as her ministrations begin to bring Alex to the brink of ecstasy. She knows touching the blonde's clit would be enough to send her crashing over the edge but she has other plans. Pulling out her fingers she watches as Alex starts to deflate into her, "What are you doing? I was so close." She whines.

Casey doesn't answer she just pulls Alex's hips towards her. Understanding what Casey wants Alex moves up her body and settles her aching center over the redhead's mouth. Easing herself down Alex lets out an audible gasp as Casey grabs her thighs and licks through her pooling wetness moaning at the taste. "Jesus Case," Alex sighs loving the new sensations coursing through her.

Using the headboard to steady her trembling body, Alex looks down to watch Casey artfully flick her tongue around her clit. Within minutes Alex is again on the brink on ecstasy and begging Casey to make her come. Finally she crashes over coming while her cries of pleasure fill the room.

Helping Alex to lie down next to her Casey softly kisses her lips and whispers, "I love you Alexandra Cabot." Slowly opening her eyes to look in her girlfriends beautiful green ones Alex smiles. She can see Casey's total sincerity of her words shinning in them.

Brushing a lock of red hair from her face Alex kisses her softly, trying to convey all of her emotions through a single kiss. As the kiss ends Alex looks back into Casey's eyes and whispers, "Casey Novak my entire heart is yours."

Pulling the redhead tight against her Alex whispers, "I love you." Snuggling into Alex's embrace Casey closes her eyes soon drifting asleep with Alex quickly following her.

* * *

At around 2am their phone rings waking Alex from her deep slumber. "Hello," Casey hears Alex answer. Feeling Alex instantly tense at the call, Casey sits up. "I'll be right there," Alex relays to the caller weakly.

Casey watches as Alex stands and starts to get dressed. "Alex, what is wrong?" Casey asks a little nervous by the blonde's behavior.

Alex swallows thickly and looks at Casey as she pulls her hair back into a ponytail. "Sam Cavanaugh is in the ER. He tried to kill himself," she says weakly.

"Oh my God, Alex I am so sorry." Casey replies.

"I am going to meet Olivia and Elliot at the hospital. I will call you when I know more," Alex says kissing Casey quickly before she leaves the room.

Lying back in the bed Casey pulls Alex's pillow close to her. She hopes and prays that Sam will be fine. If he isn't, she doesn't doubt Alex will blame herself. She will have to really take care of Alex these next few days.

Casey wakes up at 4:30am to Alex sitting on the side of the bed crying. "Alex," she whispers stretching out a hand to hold the blondes. Alex squeezes Casey's hand but doesn't say anything which tells Casey what she needs to know.

Sitting up in the bed, Casey pulls Alex tight in her arms and kisses her head while whispering words of comfort. Clutching onto Casey's pajama top, Alex sobs, "He may never wake up again Casey. It's my fault."

"Shh, no it's not baby. You were trying to help him. It's Roy Barnett's fault Alex and you are going to make him pay for hurting Sam in the first place." Casey says.

"Casey, I told him tonight that Roy never cared for him. I thought he needed to hear it. I pushed him over the limit." Alex starts to cry hysterically. Casey pulls her girlfriend tight and keeps assuring her it isn't her fault. After about thirty minutes the blonde's tears begin to subside and Casey realizes she has fallen asleep.

The next morning Casey wakes up to an empty bedroom and a note on the bathroom counter.

_Casey,_

_I left early to try and save my case. See you tonight. _

_Love, _

_Alex_

Reading the note Casey frowns noticing its only 7am. She wonders how much sleep Alex could have possibly have gotten if she arrive home at 4:30.

* * *

Arriving home that evening with Caroline in tow Casey sees Alex's car. Entering through the back door Casey calls out to her girlfriend as Caroline runs ahead. As she walks down the back hallway towards the kitchen Casey hears Caroline talking to Alex.

"Alex why are you sad?" Caroline asks.

"I made a big boo-boo Caroline." Alex replies.

Walking to the door she sees the little girl kiss Alex's cheek as she sits in the blonde's arms. With a big smile on her face Caroline says, "Now it's all better!"

Alex smiles at the little girl and pulls her into a tight hug saying, "Yes it is Caroline. You make everything better."

Casey can't help but silently cry at the beautiful scene before her. Wiping her tears she walks over and kisses Alex and Caroline's heads. Sitting next to Alex she takes her hand and they sit in silence for a bit just letting the quiet family moment heal the wounds from the day.

Finally Caroline breaks the silence, "I'm hungry Mommy."

"Why don't you go play Caroline and let Mommy order some dinner." Casey suggests. The little girl gets up without question and runs up to her room. After placing the dinner order, Casey returns to sit at the table next to Alex, "So what's the verdict? Are you going to be able to save it?"

"No," Alex starts, "the only other victim within the statute of limitations is a convicted child molester himself. I am fucked, Sam Cavanaugh is fucked, and this case is fucked." The blonde looks teary eyed at Casey again. Softly she says, "Casey it's my fault all of it. I pushed him too hard to fast. His mother told me he couldn't handle it and I convinced her to push him to do it. She did because she trusted me Casey to help him. Instead I broke him. I broke this beautiful boy just to win a case and put an evil man behind bars. Where is the justice behind that Casey? I feel just as evil and I can't even make it better because I can't win a case without evidence. Plus, I lost it in the precinct today and yelled at the detectives to work harder to find me evidence, that I couldn't do both our jobs. I think my exact words were I don't work for you, you work for me."

Casey doesn't answer instead she moves over and sits in Alex's lap. Placing her hands on either side of Alex's face, she lifts Alex's head to look in her eyes and firmly says, "Alexandra you got dealt a shit hand and you did your best. Had I been in your position I would have handled it the same way. No one knew he was suicidal, and if we had we would have gotten him help. I love you Alexandra and I wouldn't love you if you were evil. Caroline wouldn't love you. We do love you and you are a part of our family. Please don't be so hard on yourself. I know your head and heart are confused right now and you are thinking the worst but please believe my words over everything else. I love you Alex and you are an amazing, strong, compassionate, loving woman who loves unconditionally and your family loves you unconditionally." Pausing she kisses Alex softly trying to make the blonde hear her words through the intimacy, pulling back and resting their foreheads together Casey softly says, "You will figure out a way Alex, I know you will."

Looking back into Casey's green eyes Alex smiles this amazing woman she loves with her whole heart helped her find the way. "Thank you Casey. I love you more than you will ever know. In rough times you help to steady me and make me whole." Alex says and then kisses Casey.

* * *

**Late afternoon the next day...**

Alex sits at her desk and watches as Casey paces her office. It's Casey's typical get a grip and calm down move before she will talk when she is upset. The blonde knows her girlfriend is stressed with her actions and probably a little pissed at her suspension but she can't help but smile. Casey Novak looks hot when she is frustrated and pacing.

"Alexandra Cabot you have nothing to be smiling about right now!" Casey snaps in a mother like tone which only causes Alex to laugh.

Hearing her girlfriend laughing Casey storms over to her chair and spins Alex to face her. Alex stops laughing instantly a little nervous from Casey's sudden actions and not really knowing what is going through the redheads mind. Suddenly, Casey has straddled Alex's lap and is kissing her forcefully at first but quickly becoming more languid and loving with the passing seconds.

After a couple of minutes Casey breaks the kiss and looks into Alex's blue eyes. Alex finally breaks the silence and asks, "What was that for?"

"To show you what you are going to miss out on now that we can't go away for our long weekend." Casey replies with a smirk.

"Why aren't we going?" Alex questions with a frown.

"Well, you see the other ADA of Sex Crimes had to go and do an illegal search of premises and got her crazy ass suspended. So the time that I was going to spend catching up in order to take three days off work has now been revoked since girl genius got herself suspended for an entire month. Did I mention she was suspended? Oh, and how lucky she was to not get disbarred for her actions?" Casey said.

"Point taken…ugh, this sucks. I was really looking forward to five whole days with you." Alex says throwing her head back.

"Well, you should give that ADA a piece of your mind baby." Casey says kissing Alex again. Breaking the kiss she whispers in Alex's ear, "Good job by the way. Even if it wasn't the right way you got justice for Sam and got an evil person off the streets. I am proud of you Alex."

Climbing off Alex, Casey walks to the door. "Guess I will see you at home. I am going to make a stop on the way before I pick up Caroline, but we should have dinner waiting for you babe. If you get bogged down in paperwork, bring it home and I will help you. I might be banned from the office, but I can help you at home!" Alex says with a smile.

Casey smiles at her girlfriend, "You have a deal Counselor."

On her way home Alex stopped by a sadly now familiar apartment. Walking up to the door Alex knocks lightly. As Linda Cavanaugh opens the door she sighs loudly seeing the blonde attorney. "What do you want now Ms. Cabot?" the older woman asks.

"I want to say that I am really sorry about what happened to Sam." Alex apologizes trying to look the woman in the eye without crying. Taking a breath to steady her voice she says, "My girlfriend has a little girl her name is Caroline and she is only four years old. I love Caroline as if she were my own daughter, and I don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to her. Sam…I don't know what it is about Sam, but his innocence and sweetness in a way reminds me of my Caroline and I got to close and tried to fight too hard for him and his case. I am sorry he got hurt in my crusade for his justice. I am happy that I finally got him justice, I just wish it had happened a different way. That's all I wanted to say, I won't bother you again."

As Alex finishes she turns and leaves the woman in the doorway. Walking out of the building and down to where she parked her car she felt a little lighter than before she'd gone to apologize. Maybe her guilt could be eased a little.

Driving towards Caroline's school Alex began to smile. At least she could spend her month playing with Caroline. They could take Casey lunch every day, and play in the park. They could even make plans for a big Thanksgiving dinner. Alex wouldn't be back to work until after Thanksgiving so it was perfect.

Honestly, if it hadn't been for Casey these last few days Alex would have fallen apart completely and Roy Barnett would have gotten off for sure. She didn't know where she would be without the redhead, either of her redheads for that matter. Caroline had been just as supportive. She loved Casey and Caroline like family, they were her family and she wanted them to be her family forever. Pulling into Caroline's school, Alex smiled brightly she knew what she was going to do for Casey for Christmas. She was going to propose.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Another long chapter, enjoy!**

* * *

**One month later, November, day before Thanksgiving…**

Alex sat on the edge of the bathtub with a small box in her hands. Casey was bathing Caroline and Alex was hiding out in their bathroom preparing for tomorrow morning. Opening the ring box she looks at the beautiful ring she plans to give Casey in the morning.

It's a stunning three-stone engagement ring the center stone being a 2 carat diamond with two deep blue sapphires on either side of the diamond wrapped with a halo of pave-set diamonds all set in a platinum band. The ring was as gorgeous as Casey and Alex knew she would love it. At the beginning of her month long suspension she spent a week looking through all of New York's finest jewelry stores and not being able to find what she wanted had this ring made for Casey. The jewelers unexpectedly finished the ring a week early and while picking it two days ago Alex got the genius idea of how to propose. She was going to put the ring inside of a Christmas ornament and give the ornament to Casey as a present to add to the Christmas tree.

Removing the ring from the box, she picked up the special ornament and twisted opened it tucking the ring safe inside. Wrapping the ornament she stands and walks into the bedroom tucking the present in the nightstand drawer. Casey and Owen have a tradition of decorating the Christmas tree after the Macy's Day parade so she will give Casey the ornament in the morning when they wake up. That way they can still have their private moment and she can hang the ornament on the tree later as a keepsake of their engagement. She can't wait to make Casey Novak her wife.

* * *

**The Next Morning...**

Alex wakes up at 5am. She is buzzing with so much excitement about proposing that she can't sleep. While she waits for the sun to at least start to rise she watches her beautiful girlfriend sleep. Never in her wildest dreams would she have imagined meeting someone as perfect as Casey.

The redhead was sweet and caring, had an amazing sense of humor and an incredible laugh, and she had the ability to put Alex in her place when needed, not to mention she had the cutest four year old alive. As far as the blonde was concerned Casey Novak was her perfect match and she couldn't wait to make the redhead her wife. Hopefully this time next year they would be a legitimate family.

Finally, 6am arrived and Alex couldn't wait any longer. Pushing Casey's red hair away from her neck, Alex began to wake Casey by kissing her shoulder working her way up to the redhead's lips. By the time she made it to Casey's neck she felt her arms wrap around her waist.

Reaching her lips they kissed passionately for a minute before Alex broke the kiss looking into her green eyes. "Good morning to you too," Casey whispered as she moved to kiss Alex again. Stopping the kiss Alex whispered back, "I have something for you first."

Casey's eyes grew wide with delight as a smile appeared on her face and she pushed up in bed. Alex excitedly moved to the nightstand drawer and pulled the wrapped box from it, turning on the light as well before climbing back up next to Casey. Looking at Casey's growing enthusiasm Alex smiles brightly and says, "Casey I wanted to start a new tradition to go with an old tradition of yours. So here's to new traditions."

Passing Casey the present with shaky hands, Alex watches as Casey tears into the present. Opening the box, Casey gasps, "Alex what a beautiful ornament! I love it baby." She leans in and kisses Alex. Smiling into the kiss Alex whispers, "Open it Case, there is more."

Sitting back Casey examines the ornament and sees it does in fact twist open. Twisting it she discovers a gorgeous ring and freezes as she looks up to Alex. Alex smiles and takes Casey's now shaking hands, "Casey Hunt Novak, I love you more than life itself and never want to spend a moment without you. Will you please make me the happiest woman in the world and be my wife?"

Casey just stares at Alex in shock. Closing her eyes as if to will words to her mouth Alex sees tears stream down the redheads cheeks and she lets go of her hands. "Alex, I am sorry..." She finally manages.

"Don't, just don't Casey," Alex whispers picking up the ornament and closing it. She places it in her nightstand not sure what to do with it as she cleans up the mess from the paper. Standing Alex quietly walks into the bathroom and closes the door flipping the lock to prevent Casey from following her. Turning on the shower she climbs in and sits on the cold tile and finally lets herself fall apart into a sobbing mess.

Alex can hear Casey knocking at the door begging to talk. She knows she should but she doesn't want to hear why Casey doesn't want to be with her, she just wants to forget this moment of her life and go back to the happiness she felt before this heart shredding pain she is feeling now. She wants to be able to return to feeling like she has a family and that she isn't alone again. She wants to be able to think about a future with Casey not the breakup they are clearly facing at this moment.

Finishing her shower, Alex doesn't hear Casey any longer outside the door. Quickly she dries her hair and puts on her makeup. Exiting the bathroom she can hear Casey downstairs with Caroline and another knife like pain strikes her in the chest realizing this will be one of the last times she hears that familiar sound. Stepping into her closet Alex gets dressed and grabs a small bag quickly she throws some jeans underwear and sweaters inside along with her travel makeup bag. Zipping up the bag she tosses it next to the closet door and walks out of the room.

As much as she wants to leave right this minute she will stay for Caroline. The little girl doesn't deserve to have her whole world turned upside down right this minute she deserves to have a good holiday. She deserves to have everything she wants. Walking into the kitchen Alex's heart breaks seeing how excited the small child gets at seeing her.

"Alex!" Caroline exclaims jumping from the chair and running into the blondes arms.

"Happy Turkey day Care-bear!" Alex says kissing the little ones cheek before continuing, "Are you ready for my special pumpkin filled pancakes?"

"Yes," she squeals in delight. Smiling at Caroline, Alex places the girl back down on the floor and walks towards the kitchen cabinets where Casey is standing. They lock eyes and Alex can tell she has been crying. Alex takes the redhead into her arms and hugs her tight. She doesn't want to ever let her go. She just wants to stand here and hold onto her forever.

Casey seeing Alex enter the kitchen and talk about making breakfast starts to wonder if the blonde is just going to forget about the proposal. She just wants everything to go back to normal. She just wants Alex to hold her and let her know that they are going to be okay. She just wants to be reassured that she didn't just torpedo their relationship with her insecurities.

When Alex wraps her arms around Casey the redhead feels like she can finally breathe again. Taking in the sweet smell of Alex's perfume she feels safe and loved. If Caroline wasn't there right at this moment she would probably collapse into Alex in a sobbing mess.

Suddenly Alex starts to pull back and Casey feels like she is falling back into the abyss seeing the look in the blonde's eyes. She starts to feel tears prick behind her eyes and she swallows thickly hoping to hold them back in enough time to leave the room. Taking a shaky breath, Casey softly says, "I am going upstairs to get cleaned up myself. I will be right back."

She quickly leaves the room and heads upstairs. Looking around the room she doesn't see a bag so she lets herself breathe easy. At least Alex wasn't packed to leave. There was still time to explain and try to fix this mess she made.

Turning on the shower she lets herself softly cry. She didn't mean to answer like that, she thought if Alex ever asked she would scream yes and end in a tangle of limbs. She never anticipated saying no. She never anticipated causing Alex to cry like she had. She just wanted to hold Alex and apologize profusely for hurting her.

Climbing under the water she could hear Owen warning her at the beach this past summer. Was he right? Had she destroyed her relationship? Had she ruined Alex? Would Caroline be another casualty in the wake of her response this morning? Why couldn't she just say yes?

She was in love with Alex. Alex was the love of her life. Hands down she wanted to spend her life with the blonde. She never wanted to be without her. She wanted to have children with Alex and the house in the suburbs with Alex and crazy Christmas lights. So, what was stopping her from saying yes?

Climbing out of the shower, Casey quickly got ready. She needed to try and fix this mess fast. Heading back downstairs and to the kitchen she can hear Alex and Caroline laughing and talking.

"You're a turkey!" Alex exclaims with a laugh.

Caroline looks shocked and points her little finger at Alex and firmly says, "No, you're a turkey Alex."

Smiling Casey laughs, "You are both turkeys." They look at her, Caroline smiling brightly thinking it's just another day and Alex with sad eyes that say just how much Casey has hurt her. Knowing she can't wait another minute Casey asks, "Alex can I see you in the dining room? We have to figure out seating for later."

Alex nods and stands following Casey into the room. Casey wastes no time pulling Alex into her arms and kissing her. Alex wants to push her away but can't, she knows Casey is going to ask her to stay. Breaking the kiss after a minute or two Casey softly begs, "Alex please let me explain, please let me make this right."

Looking into Casey's green eyes she knows she isn't going to hear what she needs to hear. Shaking her head Alex says, "Not now Casey, we need to get through today for Caroline. We can talk tonight after she goes to bed." Alex can barely look in Casey's eyes; the redhead looks like she might fall apart at any second. Pulling Casey close again Alex whispers, "We will figure everything out Casey. I love you just as much as I did this morning babe. Let's just get through the holiday. Okay?"

Casey just holds Alex tight not wanting to let go. She is so afraid if she breaks contact the blonde will disappear. She can only nod a reply of yes as a small sob starts to break from her. "I love you Alexandra, I love you so much."

"I know you do Casey. I know." Alex whispers.

By 11am Owen, Kim, Serena, and Abbie had arrived. They all sat downstairs watching the parade on television and eating goodies while Owen and Alex started putting the Christmas tree together. Casey would occasionally come over and point out one of Alex's favorite balloons and steal a hug wanting to be close for comfort and Alex was more than happy to oblige wanting the same security for the time being.

Finally when everyone was paying attention to a dance number Owen whispered, "Alex is everything okay with you two? Casey seems a little needy. Did you two have a fight or something?"

"Or something. We are not going to discuss it until later tonight Owen. Please don't say anything to her about it. We really need to figure some things out first." Alex whispers back hanging her head trying to fight off the tears she had so successfully been holding back.

She wanted to tell Owen so he would talk sense into Casey, but the redhead needed to figure things out on her own. That was the only way they could work and Casey wouldn't feel pressured. Excusing herself for the moment Alex headed upstairs to make a phone call.

Finishing the call she checks the turkey and starts to prepare her mother's famous pumpkin pie. The silence in her childhood kitchen is more than she can handle, it's a reminder of what she may be returning to soon, silence and an empty apartment and lonely holidays. Letting her quiet tears fall into the kitchen sink she feels a pair of familiar arms wrap around her.

"She said no didn't she?" Abbie asked. Alex just nodded into her best friends embrace. Abbie turns Alex around and gives her a proper hug letting the blonde cry into her shoulder. "I didn't see the ring so I figured. Serena doesn't know because I couldn't trust Kim not leaking the secret to Casey in her crazy pregnant hormonal state so no one will bother you. Do you want to leave?"

Alex pulls bad and wipes her tears not wanting the others to catch her crying, taking a breath to steady her voice she replies, "No, I can't leave Caroline like that today. Plus, Casey is devastated as well. She tried to talk to me twice earlier. I had myself locked in the bathroom the first time and the second I told her we would talk tonight. I owe her the chance to explain her answer before I leave."

Abbie frowns and hugs her friend again. She wishes she could take some of the pain Alex is feeling away. "You were right Abbie, I should never have moved in here. I fell way to hard way too fast for her, and now I've destroyed us. We will never be the same because I can't let it go. I want to marry her, I want to adopt Caroline, I want to have more kids and be a family. I don't want to go back to being alone." Alex breaks down crying again.

Rubbing soothing circles on her friends back Abbie softly says, "Alex you don't have to break up. Just talk to Casey and hear her out. She might have a completely logical reason for her answer one that doesn't require you to leave or break up. If she doesn't or you just can't agree with her answer then give her space to sort out her feelings." Pausing to push Alex back to look in her eyes, Abbie continues, "And no Alex I was wrong, you and Casey were right to move in together. Alex, she adores you. Everyone who sees you two together can see how in love you two are. Plus, Caroline worships you. Casey might have said no, but she will come around. Just give her time."

Alex nods, "Thank you Abbie, I will."

"Good, now go fix your makeup, you look like hell." Abbie says with a laugh.

The rest of the day had passed with a blur. Alex only remembered bits and pieces of it. She remembered holding a laughing Caroline up to the top of the tree to put the star on top. She remembered feeling the twins kick whenever Owen spoke near Kim. She remembered sneaking hidden passionate kisses with Casey whenever they could manage. Every kiss felt like it might be the last one so she made a point to try and memorize every one. How Casey's lips felt, how her breathing was, what she tasted like, how she felt wrapped in her arms, even how her hair smelled like lavender. Alex didn't want to forget anything.

Sitting around the table downstairs eating a beautiful Thanksgiving dinner with the Christmas tree lit beside them Alex felt like this would be the last family event she may ever have in her life. She couldn't imagine ever finding someone she loved as much as Casey ever again. This moment in her life felt so ambivalent. She was so happy and so sad at the same time. It was getting to see how wonderful life could be but seeing it disappear all at the same time. She wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time.

"Alex honey, are you okay?" Kim asks and Alex looks her way.

"Yeah why?" Alex answers in a slightly shaky and unconvincing voice.

"Because you are crying," Serena answers. Alex touches her cheeks as she looks at Casey. Sure enough they are wet with tears.

"Alex why are you sad?" Caroline asks climbing into the blondes lap.

Kissing Caroline's head Alex says, "I am not sweetie. I am just so happy I am crying." Looking up at her girlfriend and friends she sees Casey quickly wipe her own eyes and sees the sympathetic frown on Abbie's face. "I am just so happy to have you in my life Caroline. Do you know how much I love you?" Alex asks the little girl only loud enough for her to hear.

Caroline beams at Alex and whispers in her ear, "All the way to the sun, the moon and all the stars."

"And back again. Always remember that. Go eat sweetie." Alex replies smiling at her friends.

No one questioned her crying. It was as if they all knew in their own way she needed her space on the subject. Conversation continued over the delicious food and at the end of the night all friends left with a promise that they needed to get together for Christmas as well.

Once everyone was gone, Alex followed Casey and Caroline upstairs for what may be the last bedtime routine she was a part of with them. While picking out Caroline's little pajamas she ran into the master bedroom and dug her iPod out of her workout clothes drawer. She sets the device to Sweet Caroline and sets it on the nightstand.

Once the little girl's bath is over, she gets her dressed in her jammies remembering the first time she took over for Casey after the zoo trip. She holds Caroline in her lap and reads her as many books as she wants savoring the last minutes of feeling like a mom. Carrying the little girl to bed she tucks her in and kisses her forehead. Taking a breath she says, "Caroline, I might have to go out of town for work but I don't want you to have to go to bed at night without your song sweetheart so I am going to give you my iPod okay. You know how to work it and it's already set to your song so you just have to hit play. Make sure mommy charges it in the morning." As she finishes she closes her eyes willing her tears away.

Swallowing thickly she opens her eyes and smiles at the little girl and sings Sweet Caroline for possibly the last time. Kissing Caroline goodnight she whispers, "I love you Caroline all the way to the sun, the moon and the stars and back again. Have the sweetest dreams little one."

Walking out of the room and into the hall she closes the door and walks down to the master bedroom. Entering the room she finds Casey sitting on the bed crying. Slowly the redhead looks up into Alex's eyes and asks, "You are leaving aren't you?"

"Casey, I don't know." Alex says sitting beside her on the bed. Taking a breath she asks, "Why did you say no Casey?"

"I love you so much Alex. I can't lose you. I thought if you asked me I would say yes, but then you did and all I could think was that's it he's really gone now." Casey confesses wiping her steadily falling tears.

Alex looks up confused, "John? You said no because of John?" Casey doesn't say anything she just cries.

Alex stands and shakes her head. She can't believe all of this is happening. She just wants to get away and breathe. Running her hands through her hair she tugs the ends lightly and turns to face Casey. Taking a breath she says, "I can't compete with someone who isn't even here. I thought you said no because you thought it was too soon, not the fact you can't get over your late husband."

Alex walks to the her closet and grabs her bag out from behind the door and walks over to the nightstand and takes the ring out and sets it next to Casey, "I had this designed for you Casey so you should have it."

"Alex, please don't go! Please don't leave me, I love you Alex. I love you." Casey begs once realization that Alex is for sure leaving kicks in.

Alex shakes her head, "Love me completely Casey or lose me. Either way you have to make up your mind."

"Alex you don't understand." Casey sobs, "You make me so happy and I love you so much that I forget about John. I don't want to forget him completely Alex. If we get married I am afraid I will."

"I can't fight a ghost for you Casey. I will always love you but I am sorry." Alex says as she turns and walks out the door.

Casey sits for a moment frozen in shock and disbelief before she jumps from the bed and runs after the blonde. "Alex, wait! Please!" Casey calls out running down the stairs after her, "Alex please, please don't leave me. Alex I love you. Please Alex please don't leave me."

Standing at the door with her hand on the knob Alex looks at Casey, "I love you Casey, but I can't stay here while you figure out what you want." With that she walks out the door. As she heads to her car, she hears as Casey let out a loud sob but she doesn't turn back.

As she drives away from her home, she calls Abbie and fills her in on what Casey said and that she left. Before disconnecting the call Alex tells Abbie to check on Casey that she is worried greatly about her. Hanging up the phone, Alex goes to the one place she can be alone.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: I didn't want to say anything at the start of the last chapter, but I was tearing up just writing it. It was literally putting me in a state of depression… Anyway, here's the next installment. Thanks for your reviews; I love to know how the chapters make you feel too!**

* * *

**The night Alex left…**

Abbie hangs up the phone with Alex and sees Serena standing in the doorway looking at her. "Abigail Carmichael what have you not told me?" Serena asks with a frown. She can tell from the expression on her fiancé's face that something awful has happened.

"Alex proposed to Casey this morning and Casey turned her down. That is why they were both acting weird today. Anyway, they just talked about it and Casey said it was because of John. Alex told her that she wasn't going to fight a ghost so Casey needed to figure out what she wanted and Alex left her. She wants us to check on Casey. She said she could hear her crying when she left." Abbie relayed in a small voice.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me earlier!" Serena says grabbing her coat and keys. Turning back to Abbie she yells, "Get up we have to go now!"

Abbie jumps from the couch and grabs her coat while following Serena out the door. "Rena what are we doing?" Abbie asks.

"Abbie, we are going to make sure Casey is okay and that Caroline is still sleeping. Kim said Casey needed medicine to calm her after John I can only imagine how she is now." Serena says as they get in the car.

"Oh my God, why didn't you tell me that Serena? I would have told Alex to stay." Abbie states worriedly.

"No, she needs to go. Casey doesn't understand what is going on inside her. She thinks it's wrong for her to forget and move on from John, what she isn't realizing is all of that is happening because Alex is her soul mate. John never made her this happy and sure as hell did not treat her as well. She just needs to come to terms with that and the best way is for Alex to not be there." Serena answers. Quickly she adds, "Call Kim and Owen, they need to know what's going on."

Abbie pulls out her phone but pauses and grabs Serena's hand, "I don't tell you enough Serena but right now in the wake of this I want to say I love you and Serena Southerlyn I am so thankful you are marrying me. You are my soul mate."

Serena smiles, "Thank you Abbie. I love you too and yes you are my soul mate."

Abbie quickly calls Kim and informs her of the situation. Kim assures them they will be over in a minute. Hanging up with Abbie, Kim quickly tells Owen what is going on and that they need to go back to Casey's immediately. Owen quickly packs him and Kim a bag and grabs his prescription pad on his way out the door.

Worried about his little sister, Owen drives so fast that Kim asks him to slow down. "I am sorry honey. She just isn't strong enough to handle this and I am worried about her." Owen sighs.

Kim takes his hand in hers and squeezes, "I know sweetheart. We will be there shortly and you will help her."

Arriving at the house, they find Abbie and Serena standing outside. Getting out of the car, Owen calls out, "Why are you two not inside?"

Serena looks at Abbie and Abbie nods running down to Owen and Kim, "She won't open the door Owen. You brought your key didn't you?" Hearing the news Kim grips Owen's arm and he closes his eyes for a second trying to displace all fears of things that may be waiting for him inside. Opening them again he says, "Help Kim. Wait just inside the door until I say it's okay to come in."

Kim pales holding on to Abbie and shakily says, "Owen?"

Running up to the house Owen yells, "Just do what I say Kim!"

Unlocking the door, Serena firmly states, "Don't think for one second I am not coming inside with you." Owen just looks at her and nods. Opening the door, Owen runs inside making a sweep of the downstairs like he would when he was enlisted, precise and quick. As he exits the kitchen and heads to the stairs he sees a form in the back hallway near the door. Realizing its Casey he runs over and assesses her state, he looks up to Serena and orders her to go check on Caroline.

She isn't crying, just lying on the floor trembling with her eyes fixed on the door. Owen lies down next to her and looks into her eyes, "Casey, its Owen. Are you hurt?"

Casey closes her eyes and holds them shut for a minute, when she reopens them tears are streaming down her face again. Shakily she tries to speak but her voice is almost gone, "Alex," is all she manages to say. Rolling her over, Owen sees she is okay and picks her up. Seeing Serena at the end of the hall he asks, "How is Caroline?"

"Sound asleep." Serena replies.

"Tell Kim and Abbie its okay to come inside and tell Kim to come upstairs with my prescription pad. I will need you or Abbie to run to the pharmacy for me." Owen says climbing the stairs with Casey in his arms.

Walking into the bedroom, Owen lays Casey down on the bed and covers her up. Then he lies down beside her and holds her like their parents use to hold them when they were upset as children. Rubbing her hand he kept assuring her that she would be okay. Finally, she starts to cry hysterically.

Kim arrives and Owen scribbles down a script for a mild sedative. About an hour later Abbie walks back into the room and hands the pharmacy bag to Owen. He immediately fills the syringe and gives Casey the shot. Soon she is in a deep sleep and he knows she won't be up anytime in the next few hours.

Standing he walks downstairs to find the rest of the women sitting at the kitchen table. Kim looks up at her husband, "How is she?"

"She's had a total emotional breakdown. I gave her the sedative so she will sleep now. When she wakes in the morning I will assess her then. I am going to sleep in her room with her tonight so in case she wakes up in hysterics again I can administer the medicine immediately." Owen says weakly.

Everyone nods and Owen turns and grabs two bottles of water and heads back upstairs. Walking into the room he notices how Casey in her sleep moved to Alex's side of the bed. She is clutching a pillow he assumes to be Alex's.

He remembers coming to the house a few months back to check on the blonde when she had strep throat. Casey was so upset that she couldn't be there to take care of Alex that she made Owen spend the day at the house taking care of Alex, the following day she had Kim and him take Caroline so she could spend all of Saturday spoiling Alex the way Alex had cared for them. There was no doubt in his mind that his sister was madly in love with Alex Cabot.

Lying down next to his little sister he watches her sleep. "Casey, you need to be okay when you wake up in the morning. You have to be okay so you can get a grip and go after her. You need her Casey," he says as he holds his sisters hand and falls asleep watching over her.

* * *

**The morning after Alex left…**

Casey opens her eyes and sees her brother sleeping next to her holding her hand. He had always taken care of her since their mother died. He would be an amazing father; he already was an amazing son, brother, and husband. Trying to speak, she very hoarsely says, "Owen."

Owen immediately opens his eyes and sits up. "Casey, are you okay?" he asks his voice full of concern. Casey sits up herself and shakes her head no. Owen pulls the medicine bag over but Casey touches his arm and weakly says, "No Owen. If I lose it completely okay, but not right now. I deserve to feel bad. I was so stupid, I ruined everything."

"Casey, why did you say no?" he asks.

Casey hangs her head and lightly starts to cry, "I wanted her to ask. I kept thinking about it happening and dreaming about where we would get married and thinking we would have two or three kids. I kept thinking about how wonderful our lives would be. I had a slight set back at Caroline's birthday but a few weeks after I was better and we seemed so much stronger." She laid her head against her brother's shoulder and he held her close. Soothing her tears away, he tried to reassure her that everything would be okay.

"No it won't Owen. She asked me and it was the most perfect proposal and I said no. What the hell is wrong with me? I said no because I was worried about forgetting John, when I should have been worried about losing Alex, losing her feels so much worse Owen. I want her back. How do I get her back?" Casey asks as she lies back down pulling Alex's pillow tight to her chest.

"Casey you should get up and eat and drink something." Owen suggests.

Casey shakes her head no, "I am not going anywhere until I figure out how to get her back. Owen hand me the ring please. Owen picks the ring up, it's beautiful and completely Casey's style. Handing it to her he watches as she puts it on her finger and curls back up. Kissing her head he walks out of the room to let her sleep.

As Owen walked out of the room Casey lay in the bed thinking of everything that happened over the last day. She wished she could just go to sleep and wake up and it all be a nightmare. She had never felt pain like she felt right now. John's death didn't even affect her like this; it didn't hurt like this, this constant twisting knife in the chest feeling. She just needed Alex. She wanted to close her eyes and open them to see the beautiful blonde lying next to her. She wanted to have Alex comfort her and tell her it was all a nightmare.

She imagined what she wished had happened, what she wanted to happen. She imagined opening the ornament and seeing the beautiful ring Alex had had made for her. She imagined tearing up at Alex's perfect words and barely being able to say yes because her enthusiasm was too much. She imagined pulling Alex into her arms and kissing her passionately, and making love to her.

Casey dreamt of going into Caroline's room that morning with Alex to tell her the happy news. To see the excitement on Caroline's face as she realized Alex was going to be a permanent part of her family. Making breakfast with happy laughs and kisses, watching the parade in each other's arms with nothing but love and excitement for their future between them. Telling their friends and sharing ideas for their wedding. Having a happy Thanksgiving dinner filled with the joy of things to come in their lives and being thankful for finding each other. Plus she would have been able to go to bed that night in each other's arms, being so in love.

Sadly though, it didn't happen that way. Instead an answer she didn't expect came out of her and as a result she lost the love of her life. She had to fix this she had to get Alex back. She will never feel whole again without Alex by her side.

Casey hears the bedroom door open but doesn't look up. Hearing little steps come across the floor, Casey forces herself to roll over to greet her child. She knew Caroline would be wondering where her beloved Alex was which only hurt her more. She had caused Caroline to lose another vital person in her life.

"Mommy, are you sick?" Caroline asks coming to face her mother.

Casey swallows hard. She hates lying to her child but right now it's the easiest answer. Hoarsely she says, "Yes sweetie, I am."

"Don't worry Mommy. Uncle Owen will make you better." Caroline replies climbing on the bed and snuggling up with Casey.

Casey notices the little girl has Alex's iPod in her hands. "What are you doing with Alex's iPod?" Casey asks dying a little more inside from saying her girlfriend's name.

"She gave it to me last night so I could hear my song. She said she might go away so this way I could hear it without her. Did she have to go?" Caroline asks with big eyes.

Casey can't hold back her tears now. She turns her head into her pillow and tries to quiet her sobs. She needs to be strong for her little girl, but she can't stop herself. She feels like the worst mother alive right now.

"It's ok Mommy. Alex comes home remember." Caroline tries to soothe, but Casey only cries harder. Soon she hears Kim come into the room.

"Caroline, honey, Mommy is sick. She needs to rest." Kim sees Casey's state, "Oh Case, Caroline, go run and tell your Uncle Owen to come upstairs now and stay downstairs with Abbie and Serena baby."

Caroline does as asked and runs off. Kim climbs on the bed and holds Casey in her arms. "Casey everything will be fine honey. It will all work out. I promise you two will figure things out and be okay." the brunette soothes.

Casey tries to control her breathing, "She told Caroline she might be leaving and gave her, her iPod so she could have her song before bed. She isn't coming back Kim. She isn't coming back. I-I need her. I love her. I just want to die I hurt so badly. I want her-her ba-back. Why couldn't I answer how I wanted to?"

By the time Owen reaches the room, Casey is completely hysterical. He quickly gives her the sedative and as it kicks in they tuck her back into the bed. She again pulls Alex's pillow flush with her chest.

Kim notices Casey is wearing what must be the engagement ring and shakes her head. Looking at Owen she says, "Has she had anything to eat or drink?"

"Nothing to eat and only a little water. I am going to go to the hospital and get some IV fluids for her. Stay with her and see if you can contact Alex. If she keeps unraveling like this I will have to admit her for stronger meds. She doesn't need that. Alex will need to come back before that. She told me this morning she wanted to say yes. She wanted Alex to propose that she was just as shocked when she said no." He runs his hand through his little sisters hair and kissing her forehead whispering, "everything will be okay Casey." Then he leaves.

Kim pulls out her phone and texts Alex, "_Alex where are you Casey is falling apart."_

* * *

Alex Cabot wakes up alone hearing her phone ding alerting her to a new message, but she doesn't look at it she just turns it off. She snuggles back into the plush bed and closes her eyes. Her whole world is falling apart. All she wants is Casey, she feels hollow without Casey. All she wants is to be home with Casey and Caroline. She wanted to make Caroline pancakes and sing silly songs with her while cleaning the kitchen. She wanted to take Casey in her arms and make love to her until neither of them hurt anymore. She wanted to right her world, but she couldn't. Only Casey could fix this mess.

Alex thinks maybe she shouldn't have left. It just about killed her to leave Casey crying like she did. Honestly, she thinks cutting her heart out with a knife would have been easier. After ending her call with Abbie the other night Alex cried the whole way here. When she checked in the bed and breakfast staff asked if she was okay her eyes were so puffy. She could only nod yes but promptly broke down again once she was in her room.

She had no intentions of going anywhere the next few days and no intention of turning her phone on until she was ready to speak to Casey. She needed time to process and if it were a real emergency they could easily track her through her car or credit card. No one was ever fully off the grid anymore.

Closing her eyes she wills herself to sleep. Her dreams are filled with Casey. Her dreams are better than reality.

* * *

**Three days after Alex left...**

_Casey is sitting on the park bench watching Caroline play with Alex on the playground. They look so happy and Casey feels nothing but happiness watching them. Deciding to go join them Casey realizes someone is sitting next to her, it's John._

_"They look happy Casey. I like her, she good for you." He says calmly._

_"How are you here?" Casey asks clearly confused at her dead husband's presence._

_"Your dreaming Casey, I am not hear and neither are they really." He answers pointing to Alex and Caroline. As Casey watches them she sees Alex fade away as Caroline plays then slowly fades as well._

_"I screwed everything up John." Casey mumbles._

_"Yeah you did Case, but you can fix it and you should. You deserve to be happy Casey. Stop punishing yourself." John says._

_"What do you mean?" She asks._

_"You know what I mean Casey. You feel bad for moving on so you push the best person for you away. Don't feel bad Casey. I don't. Go get your girl." He says standing._

_Casey shakes her head, "I don't know how John, I don't even know where she is she won't answer anyone's calls." _

_"You know what to do in your heart Casey. Plus, you know Alexandra better than anyone. You know where she is Casey." He answers with a smiles and fades away as well._

_Suddenly it's just Casey sitting on the bench. She hangs her head and whispers, "Where are you Alex?"_

_"Right here Casey." the blonde answered._

_Casey looks up and sees Alex sitting next to her. "Alex, I wish you were really with me." She whispers back._

_"Casey you know where I am. I would never go someplace you couldn't find me. Just think about it babe." Alex replies before leaning in and kissing Casey lightly._

Casey wakes up alone in her bed. Rolling over she realizes Owen must have removed the IV while she was sleeping. He knows she hates IV's so at least he was nice enough to insert it and removing while he had her drugged. Sitting up in bed she thinks about her dream. Her subconscious had just dumped a shit ton of information in her lap and now she had to process it. Laying back down and smelling the last traces of Alex on her pillow Casey thinks about the so apparent differences between Alex and John.

John was a good man but he was obsessed with work. He never put Casey or Caroline before his job and Casey thought it was because he was a surgeon despite seeing Owen do differently. He also never thought to do little sweet things for her like leaving love notes or running her a warm bath. He hated to snuggle. He just simply wasn't her perfect match.

Alex on the other hand left her love notes and did sweet little things for her, like bringing her coffee. She ran Casey hot baths after a long day, and would rub Casey's shoulders when she was stressed. Casey would do all the same things for Alex too. Best of all Alex loved to snuggle just as much as Casey did to the point that they were always touching through the night. Alexandra Cabot was clearly her soul mate.

Climbing out of bed she walked to the bathroom and took a shower. While the warm water ran over her body washing all the bad memories from the last few days away Casey made up her mind. Alex and she were meant to be together and she wasn't going to rest until she was here with her again. She was refusing to let Alexandra Cabot go. She was the love of her life and she would fight for her until the day she died. Forming a plan she exited the shower.

After cleaning up and getting dressed Casey walked downstairs to find Owen sitting at the kitchen table. "Hey," he said seeing her enter the room. He was astonished to see his sister awake nonetheless showered dressed nicely and makeup applied. Shaking his head he said, "Wow, you are feeling much better."

"Thanks I feel it. Where are my cars keys?" Casey asks blandly.

"Casey, you aren't okay to drive anywhere until tomorrow at least. You have had some serious sedatives coursing through you for the last couple of days. Honestly I am shocked to see you this put together." He admits.

"Great, then get your car keys."

"Casey, where are we going?" He asks standing to get his jacket. He knows if he refuses she'll just take a cab.

"Tiffany's." She answers and Owen's jaw drops.

"Tiffany's as in the jewelry store?" He questions as they walk out of the house and he locks the door.

"Yes, I am going to buy Alex the most beautiful ring and then I am going to go ask her to please forgive me and marry me." Casey explains.

"Casey, do you know where Alex is?" Owen asks climbing into the car.

Buckling her seatbelt Casey smiles at her brother, "Yeah, I think I do actually. If not I will have her car traced by Elliot and Olivia. I will find her one way or another because I don't plan on coming home without her."

* * *

That evening Casey sat downstairs snuggled up with Caroline watching Cinderella. The little girl picked that movie instead of The Little Mermaid because Cinderella looked like Alex. The notion suddenly made Casey appreciate the movie more.

Finishing the dishes, Abbie walked down the stairs and sat in a chair near Casey. She noticed the redhead playing with the new engagement ring she purchased earlier that day for Alex. It was a gorgeous two carat white diamond encircled by a row of pink and white bead-set diamonds on a diamond band. She knew her best friend would love it. It was exactly Alex's style.

"So how are you going to ask?" Abbie asks.

Casey thinks for a minute placing the ring back on the necklace she was wearing around her neck. Turning to look at Abbie she answers, "I don't know for sure Abbie what I am going to say. It's what I was just thinking about when you asked. First thing I plan to do is beg for her forgiveness and tell her that I intend to spend the rest of our lives making it up to her. The rest I guess I will figure out as I go."

Abbie smiles at her friend. She can tell just how much Casey loves Alex and is truly determined to bring her home. "I am sure everything will work out fine for you two. I would be shocked if she turned you down Casey. Then again I did just say those words to Alex not too long ago as well." Abbie says with a smirk.

Casey frowns, "You are so evil Carmichael. And to think everyone thinks Kim is the bad one."

Abbie gets a dead serious look on her face and whispers, "You better hope old bat ears didn't hear you say that. She might be three floors up asleep but she does have evil powers since being pregnant. I am beginning to think she is carrying demon spawns. The last month she has become even scarier especially when she wants a case. Even Serena is afraid of her now so we get stuck with all the crap cases."

Casey can't help but burst out into laughter at this knowledge. She didn't know Kim had actually used the knowledge of Serena and Abbie being afraid of her to get cases. She would have to give Kim a high five later for going through with it. Abbie frowns at Casey confused by how she could possibly find her and Serena's situation funny.

"You better put a plug in it Novak. Just remember Serena and I, are taking on a lot of work for you and Alex right now so that Donnelly doesn't fire your asses." Abbie deadpans.

Casey quickly covers her mouth to silence her humor. Caroline looks over at Casey and asks, "Mommy when is Alex coming home?"

Feeling a pang of guilt for being the cause of Alex's absence Casey quickly answers, "Well Care-bear, Alex is working really hard on our case and as a matter of a fact Mommy has to leave tomorrow to go help her. So while Alex and I are gone you are going to stay here with Abbie, Serena, Uncle Owen and Aunt Kim. You are such a lucky girl to have so many people who love you and want to play with you that they all had to come and stay. Plus, when Mommy comes back Alex will be with me!"

"Casey!" Casey turns hearing Serena call her name, "What if it doesn't work? Don't say something that might not work, if you get my drift."

Casey smiles understanding what her friend means and replies, "I am not coming back without her Rena so it will be okay."

* * *

**Four days after Alex left...**

Casey stands by the back door giving Caroline a hug and kiss while Owen puts her bag in the car. "Okay, Kim you know the drill. If you need me call, I will have my phone on me at all times. I should be there in a couple of hours and I will call you all tonight." Giving Caroline another hug and kiss she sets the little girl down and adds, "Caroline I love you so, so much. You be good for everyone while I am away."

"Yes ma'am Mommy. Mommy don't forget to bring Alex back!" Caroline exclaims.

Smiling at her daughter, Casey whispers in her ear, "I won't sweetheart, I promise."

Giving Kim and Owen a hug she starts to her car thanking them again for everything as she climbs inside. She hoped she was right about where Alex was hiding out; however, she already had Liv and Elliot on standby just in case she was wrong. One way or another Casey was going to fix everything with the blonde today.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Wrapping this story up, so enjoy! Hopefully I will have the next story started for you wonderful readers tomorrow! Thank you all for your amazing reviews, they really keep me motivated and inspired! :)**

* * *

**Four days after Alex left…**

Alex woke up alone again in her room at the bed and breakfast. She was beginning to hate waking up because when she slept she dreamt of Casey. She dreamt of Casey smiling and laughing, of having sweet family moments with Casey and Caroline, of future plans they shared. Something had to give something needed to change.

Climbing out of bed she decided to get a shower and go for a walk of the premises around the B&amp;B. She hadn't left the room since she got to the B&amp;B as a matter of a fact she had only gotten out of bed to use the bathroom and get more water. After showering, she pulled her hair back and threw on a sweater, jeans and a pair of boots and walked out into the crisp morning air.

The morning air was a little colder than she had expected and Alex debated going back for a jacket but in the end decided against it. She thought the air might help keep her thoughts progressing; she really needed to figure out what to do about Casey and their relationship. It had been four days since she left and they hands down had been the four worst days of her life. She missed Casey more than anything and wanted to go home and make things right.

Although, she wondered how could they possibly have a real relationship if Casey couldn't let go of John. She wasn't asking Casey to forget John completely, just love her completely. She could still love John, but Alex wanted to know that Casey loved her to the point that she wasn't holding anything back and she didn't get that the night she left. It was why she left.

Sitting down on a bench along the path, Alex wondered could she return and look past Casey's insecurities. At this point, after spending the last four days with zero communication with Casey she fully believed she could. She would rather have what Casey could offer her than not have Casey at all. Simply being with Casey made her feel complete and she wanted that feeling back, she wanted to be with Casey and Caroline, they were her family now.

Pulling out her cell phone, Alex knew it was time to go home. She would let Casey know that everything was fine between them but that the offer of marriage still stood so when she was ready all she had to do was put the ring on. They could make everything work, she knew they could.

Turning on her phone it began to alert her of multiple messages. Going to the last one from Abbie, Alex hit play and put her ear to the phone to listen to Abbie's message, "Alex, where are you? Turn your phone on and call me back ASAP. Casey is having some sort of emotional breakdown or something. Owen has her drugged and says if she doesn't improve he is going to have to take her to the hospital. You need to come back. NOW ALEX! Call me please."

Alex paled hearing the message. Her heart rate sped up as she wondered what had she done. Shakily she stood running her hands through her hair she paced back and forth. What if Casey had been hospitalized? How was Caroline without either of them for support? What had she done?

Suddenly, Alex takes off running back towards the bed and breakfast. She had to get back to her room; she had to get back to the city now. Hopefully, she could get to Casey in time. Hopefully, she wasn't too late. Hopefully, Casey would forgive her for leaving.

Finally spotting the inn as she ran, she saw someone sitting outside on the porch steps. Alex began to slow down so she didn't plow the person over and as she did she noticed they had red hair like Casey's. Slowing to a walk the redhead looked up and she saw it was in fact Casey. Casey was sitting on the steps in front of her.

Casey sat on the steps of the porch. She saw Alex's car in the parking lot, but the inn keepers at the B&amp;B wouldn't give her Alex's room number. Not knowing what to do Casey walked outside to sit on the porch steps. She hoped the crisp air would help her think maybe she would just sit here until Alex showed up. It was lame, but at least it would provide her a chance to see her. At least she was right about Alex's location.

Hearing someone coming her way, Casey looked up and saw Alex to walking towards her. Seeing her caused Casey's heart rate to sky rocket. Here she was and Casey had her moment staring her in the face, she had to make her move, it was time to make things right with her girlfriend. Slowly she stands and walks towards the now still Alex.

Alex's eyes were wide as if she was in shock. Casey was afraid that once she started talking Alex was going to run away. She didn't know if she could survive being left by Alex twice in a week's time, but she didn't have a choice she wasn't going to lose her again. Taking a breath to calm her nerves Casey finally spoke, "Alex, I am so sorry for hurting you the way I did."

Feeling tears start to slip from her eyes Casey wipes them away quickly and continues, "I am so sorry Alex. I love you and I don't know exactly what happened. I want to marry you Alex and I want to raise a family with you and spend every day of our lives making up for how much I hurt you. I have been so lost without you and I don't want to spend another day without you by my side Alex."

Casey's tears are falling steadily as she looks into Alex's eyes and walks up close to the blonde. Reaching into her shirt she pulls her necklace out and unclasps it. Sliding the ring from the chain Casey kneels in front of Alex and looks up in her eyes, "Alexandra, the moment I saw this ring I thought of you, your smile, your laugh, your love. I love you more than anything. Since buying it I have worn it close to my heart because that is where I want you to be and stay forever. Please Alexandra, please say yes you will marry me and make me the happiest woman in the world." As she finishes she slips the ring onto Alex's finger and stands.

Running her hand up to Alex's face she softly asks, "What do you say Alex?"

Alex is slightly shaking now, her emotions are in overdrive. A second ago she thought Casey might be in the hospital and then she was right in front of her. Now she just proposed and she is wearing Alex's ring. She opens her mouth to speak, to say yes but nothing comes out. Seeing a look of fear start to cross Casey's face Alex grabs the redhead by the waist and kisses her.

Casey was clearly shocked at first, but soon realized what was happening, what this kiss meant and melted into it, enjoying the softness of Alex's lips, the faint taste of coffee on her tongue, the feel of her magical body pressed into hers. Finally needing air, Casey broke the kiss and pressed her head against Alex's, smiling she softly says, "I take it that's a yes then?"

Alex smiles and says, "Yes, yes I want to marry you Casey," and pulls Casey in for another heated kiss. Casey breaks the kiss again and presses her cheek against Alex's whispering in her ear, "Let's go to your room." Quickly the blonde takes her lovers hand and leads her into the building and up the stairs to her room.

Once in the room, Casey looks around the spacious area. "You were right Alex, this place is really amazing." Casey says lightly turning to see the look on Alex's face she laughs, "What?"

Alex shakes her head with a smirk on her face as she approaches the redhead, "I didn't bring you up here to discuss the inn Casey and you know that," she pauses taking Casey in her arms and lightly kissing her lips before continuing, "You know that because you suggested coming up here."

Casey lick's her lips softly and says, "Your right," as she slips her hands under the hemline of Alex's sweater slowly lifting it over her head. Her breath catches instantly in her throat realizing Alex wasn't wearing a bra. Slowly, she runs her hands over Alex's breasts causing the blonde to gasp at the sensation. Leaning in, Casey begins kissing up Alex's neck as she slides her hands down to unbutton Alex's jeans.

Laughing Alex stops the redhead. "Casey, you are going to get hung up if I don't take my boots off first." Casey bites her lip as she smiles at Alex and removes her own shirt while kicking off her shoes. Getting the idea Alex sits in the window seat and takes off her boots and socks as she watches Casey remove her jeans.

As the last articles of clothing fall to the floor, Alex looks over Casey's magnificent body. Taking her into her arms she kisses her softly while running her hands over Casey's back and sides, enjoying the feel of her soft skin beneath her fingertips. Walking the redhead back towards the bed Alex has her lay down as she climbs on top.

Kneeling between her legs, Alex looks over Casey's body and leans forward pressing her body to the redheads sighing at the sensation of their bodies meeting again. Looking into Casey's eyes Alex whispers, "I love you Casey, I love you so much."

Hearing Alex's words, Casey pulls the blonde in for another searing kiss quickly flipping the blonde over and kissing down her neck towards her chest as she lets out a gasp. Reaching Alex's breast Casey runs her tongue around a hard nipple before nipping it between her teeth causing Alex to arch up towards her. Smiling at how she is affecting the blonde, Casey kisses over to her next nipple repeating her actions as she runs her right hand up Alex's leg towards her center.

Kissing her way back up to Alex's mouth Casey moves to straddle one of her legs. As she kisses the blonde softly she runs a finger lightly over Alex's soaked center. Alex sucks in a deep breath at the sensation causing Casey to smile. Sliding a finger inside the blonde Casey quickly finds her sweet spot and begins to slowly move the fingers against it.

Alex arches into Casey letting out a soft moan as the pleasurable sensations take over her. Grabbing onto Casey, Alex rolls her hips into Casey's hand as her breathing starts to quicken. Watching Alex's reactions to her ministrations Casey feels herself growing hotter and more desperate for release and begins to grind herself against Alex's thigh.

Casey can feel Alex tightening around her fingers and notices her breathing becoming irregular. Continuing to rub against herself against Alex's leg Casey can feel her own orgasm closing in and lets out moan. Alex opens her eyes hearing Casey and watches as the redhead works to get them both off. Feeling Casey plunge a little deeper into her, Alex gasps, "Yes Casey there." Seeing how close Alex is to crashing over the edge Casey moves her left hand to work Alex's clit causing the blonde to cry out from the sensation. Casey knows she is about to come, but wants Alex to finish first so she frantically rubs against Alex's clit causing the blonde to come hard crying out her name. Feeling Alex come around her fingers is enough to cause Casey to join her with her own orgasm.

Falling down on the bed next to Alex, Casey gasps for air. Rolling over to face Casey, Alex whispers, "I love you Casey," and places a light kiss to her lips. Casey smiles and answers, "I love you to Alexandra. Don't ever leave me again." Alex smiles and replies, "I never will," as they drift off to sleep in each other's arms.

* * *

**The next afternoon…**

Alex and Casey pull up next to the townhouse and park their cars. Climbing out, Alex knowingly smiles at Casey as she rushes to her side. Kissing her briefly, Alex whispers into the redhead's ear, "Do you think Serena will be pissed?" Casey laughs and lays her head on Alex's shoulder before answering, "Oh hell yes."

Laughing herself Alex says, "Well she can get over it, I couldn't wait." Taking Casey's hand she leads the redhead up to their house. Unlocking the door, Casey grins at Alex and says, "Brace for impact baby." Alex smiles wide understanding what Casey is meaning as they walk into the house.

"Hello family!" Casey calls out but doesn't get an answer.

"Maybe they are downstairs?" Alex asks when they suddenly hear a shriek and see Caroline coming running up the stairs.

"Guess so," Casey laughs seeing her little girl running from the stairs towards them. Alex drops to her knees and opens her arms wide to collect the little girl. Hugging her tightly Alex says, "I missed you so much," before kissing the little girls head and picking her up.

"You were gone so long!" Caroline exclaims as Owen, Kim, Abbie and Serena file into the room.

"I was Care-bear and it was awful. I missed you and Mommy so much. How about I try to never leave for that long again?" Alex offers with another kiss to Caroline's cheek.

Caroline beams and hugs Alex's neck hard saying, "Okay deal."

Casey looks at Alex and then to her brother and friends, taking a breath she says, "So Alex and I have some news."

"You're engaged!" Kim exclaims. Alex places Caroline on the ground and takes Casey in her arms before saying, "No, we got married!"

"What!" Serena yells.

Alex looks into Casey's eyes and laughs, "You were right," as she places a kiss to Casey's lips. Breaking the kiss, Alex looks to their friends and explains, "We knew what we wanted and the inn had a chapel and a minister so we asked if they would marry us and they agreed."

"I can't believe you two are married. Congratulations!" Owen says walking to give Casey and Alex a hug.

"Alex!" Caroline calls out.

"Yes sweetheart." Alex answers, getting on Caroline's level. The little girl looks at her intently and asks, "Does this mean you are my Mommy too?"

"I sure can be if you want me too." Alex answers with a big smile. Caroline smiles brightly and hugs Alex's neck again.

The newly married couple spends the next hour explaining how their nuptials occurred to their friends and what their plans are for announcing their marriage to the rest of their friends and the DA's office. Additionally, they took the lashing Serena felt was necessary about 'stealing her thunder' which lasted about all of two minutes before she hugged them both and told them how incredibly happy she was for them.

That evening they went out to dinner to celebrate. It was a nice quiet celebration with the people they loved the most. Coming home that evening, Casey looked over to her wife and smiled. She couldn't be happier being married to Alex. She honestly couldn't believe that she almost let her get away.

"I love you Alex and I am so happy to be married to you." Casey said kissing the back of Alex's hand.

"I love you to babe and am super happy to be married to you too." Alex says with a smile keeping her eyes on the road.

"I love you to!" Caroline calls out from the back seat causing Casey and Alex to laugh.

"We love you to Caroline." Alex replies.

"Alex, since you are mommy to do I call you Mommy?" Caroline asks from her booster seat.

Casey looks over to Alex with a big smile, she can see a tear running down her wife's cheek and she leans over to wipe it away. Taking a breath to steady her words Alex replies, "Care-bear since we already have a Mommy why don't you call me Mama. I called my mommy Mama so you could call me that as well that way Mommy and I will know who you are talking to."

"Okay Mama." Caroline happily replies looking out the car window as they continue their drive home. Casey lightly squeezes Alex's hand thanking God for how perfect her life really was now. It amazed her that just a few days ago it all seemed hopeless, but that one day literally changed the rest of her life.

Arriving back home, Alex and Casey quickly began bedtime routine with Caroline. Like normal Casey started Caroline's bath while Alex got her pajamas and bed ready then joined them in the bathroom. "Caroline, what do you want Santa to bring you for Christmas?" Alex asked as she sat on the floor next to Casey.

The little redhead tapped her chin and thought. Suddenly her face brightened and she squealed, "A baby brother!"

"Oh no!" Casey exclaimed while Alex laughed so hard she fell into Casey's lap. Casey quickly fixed there dilemma, "Caroline sweetie, Santa Claus doesn't bring babies. You have to pick a toy or something."

"Why?" Caroline asks as Alex sits back up composing herself.

"Why what Care-bear?" Alex asks.

"Why does Santa not bring babies?"

"Oh, um…" Casey stutters trying to find the right answer. Seeing her wife's problem Alex jumps to answer, "Because babies grow in mommies like Aunt Kim's babies remember. So would you like a new doll? Or how about a dollhouse?"

"Dollhouse!" Caroline says happily.

"Okay, a dollhouse it is sweetie. We can go talk to Santa tomorrow, but right now you have to get into bed." Casey says helping the little girl out of the tub.

Alex quickly dresses the little girl in her pajamas and read Caroline her books. She held the little girl close, so happy her dream has come true and now she really is a mom. Tucking the sweet little one in her bed Alex sang Caroline her song. As Alex kissed her goodnight and began to walk from the room Caroline sleepily called out, "Night Mama."

Smiling Alex replies, "Goodnight Caroline. I love you all the way to the sun the moon and all the stars and back again."

Walking down the hallway, Alex smiles thinking that the last time she put the little girl to bed she thought it might be the last time but now Caroline and Casey really were her family and her future. She couldn't ask for a better life.

Entering their bedroom, Alex sees Casey sitting in bed reading a book. Life already seems so normal again and it feels like the best thing ever. Quickly getting ready for bed, Alex climbs in next to Casey and pulls her close.

"I have a secret," she whispers into Casey's ear. Casey smiles brightly and whispers back, "Tell me please."

"You have to kiss me first."

Casey leans in and slowly kisses Alex enjoying the softness of her lips. Pulling back after a minute, the redhead says, "Spill it."

"I love you Casey Novak." Alex replies with a grin.

"I love you too Alex Cabot, but you need to get my name right." Casey replies with a smirk.

"What?" Alex questions with a confused expression on her face.

"I thought I might change my name. I would like to take your last name if you are okay with that." Casey answers entwining Alex's fingers with hers.

Alex smiles and replies, "I would love that Casey, but only if you really want to."

"I do." Casey quickly answers kissing Alex again.

Pulling back from the kiss Alex says, "There is one more thing Casey, I would like to adopt Caroline. I want to adopt her for all the legal reasons, but I most importantly I want her to know just how much I love her that I think of her as my own child. I don't ever want her to question my dedication and love to her when we one day have our own children."

Looking tearfully into Alex's eyes Casey nods while answering, "Yes Alex, yes I would love for you to adopt Caroline. I love you."

"I love you to Casey Cabot." Alex says with a chuckle as Casey snuggles into Alex's side laying.

"Don't laugh at my name Cabot."

"Okay CC." Alex says kissing Casey's head goodnight.

* * *

**Ten years later, Christmas Morning…**

"Casey, wake up!" Alex whispers loudly into her wife's ear.

"Haven't we gone over this baby? I only like to be woken up with kisses." Casey complains rolling back into Alex for warmth.

Running her fingers through her wife's gorgeous red hair Alex sighs, "Well in five seconds don't say I didn't warn you."

Casey looks up confused at Alex and blinks trying to think what the problem could be before her eyes go wide remembering what today is. She quickly sits up as four children come bounding into their room and jump on their bed. "It's Christmas!" they all exclaim happily.

Casey smiles as she looks over her four children. Caroline was now fourteen, followed by Neil who was 8, then Charlotte who was 6, and 4 year old Alexander at the end. They fondly referred to Alexander as Little Alex.

"Merry Christmas kids," Casey replies laying back into Alex's arms. She leans up and gives Alex a quick kiss before adding, "Merry Christmas baby. Thanks for my warning."

"Anytime CC," Alex replies with a grin as Casey pinches her. Alex laughs, "Ten years later and you still don't like my nickname for you. Oh well, Merry Christmas to you too. I love you Casey." As she finishes, she steals one more kiss before getting out of bed.

"Okay kiddos! Who is ready to go downstairs and see what Santa brought us all?" Alex asks their children.

"Mama," Caroline groans, "We all are can we get the show on the road?"

"Only fourteen and already so sassy," Casey grumbles climbing out of bed, "Santa may have just brought you coal this year."

Caroline smirks at her mother, "So funny Mom, but I might already know just what Santa brought me this year."

"Oh do you," Alex asks.

"Mommy can we go!" Little Alex asks tugging on her night shirt. Picking up her miniature clone of her wife, Casey says, "Yes, children lets go downstairs, but you all will not tear completely into all the presents until your mother and I have time to each have a cup of coffee."

"Yes Mom," Caroline grumbles. Putting her hand on her oldest shoulder Alex jokes, "Care-bear it might be time for you to start drinking coffee. You sure are not a morning person."

"More like anytime person." Neil retorts.

"Hey watch it or I will change your name to something else!" Caroline calls back.

"Mama!" Neil cries out.

"Caroline, Neil it is Christmas so please let it go." Alex firmly states as they reach the ground floor and the kids go racing to the presents. Casey wraps her arms around Alex as they watch their children's excitement over all the new stuff.

Kissing Alex's neck, Casey whispers, "Thank you for giving me the best Christmas present of all..."

"Oh, and what was that?" Alex asks turning in Casey's arms to look her in the eyes.

Casey smiles brightly, "You and our children, our life together. It's all because of you Alexandra Cabot."

"Well if you like that for a present then you should love what Santa brought us." Alex says leading Casey into the family room.

Leaning against the wall sat a family portrait of them. It had clearly been painted from Casey's favorite picture of them from the beach the summer before when they forced poor Abbie to play photographer. Casey loved it because it was a rarity for all four children to be smiling at the same time.

"Alex its beautiful thank you!" Casey replied wrapping her arms around her wife's neck.

"Anything for you Casey. Why don't you sit down and watch the kids for a minute while I run upstairs and fix us some coffee."

"Deal," Casey responds as Charlotte comes up to her. "Mommy can you open my dolly please," Charlotte asks holding up the boxed toy doll. "Yes sweetheart," Casey says taking the toy from her.

Charlotte had her red hair, and reminded Casey so much of Caroline at her age that it was shocking. Casey had Charlotte while Alex had carried Neil and Little Alex. Neil turned out to have light brown hair and striking green eyes, Alex thought he looked like her father, while Little Alex literally looked like Alex. It was funny to see the differences between the two boys, whereas the two girls looked almost like carbon copies.

Handing the freed doll to Charlotte with a kiss Casey sat back and observed her children. Caroline was loving her new art easel and paint set, Neil was fascinated with his giant set of K'NEX, Charlotte was lovingly playing with her doll and doll accessories, and Little Alex hadn't even opened a present yet because he was far to captivated by his new bicycle. Their children were beautiful.

Seeing Alex walk back into the room with their coffee Casey smiled. Taking the coffee from her wife, she asked, "Did you ever think life would be this amazing?"

Sitting next to her wife and wrapping an arm around her should Alex answered, "Before you no, after you yes."

"Always so smooth with your words Cabot."

"I try." Alex smiles.

"So you gave me my present, are you ready for yours it's big." Casey says with a big grin on her face.

Alex's eyes go wide as she asks, "How big Casey?"

"Really, really big Alex," Casey hands the blonde a small box.

"You didn't, seriously!" Alex exclaims opening the box to pull out a set of house keys, "Casey! You bought me the house!"

All four children are now staring at their mothers in shock. "Oh my God, I love you so much Casey. I can't believe you bought me the house. You are unbelievable." Alex exclaims again before kissing her wife.

Breaking the kiss, Alex looks at her kids with a big smile, "We are moving kids! You all will have your own rooms, and a yard to play in and a big driveway to ride bikes in and the most awesome Christmas light display every year!"

Their children instantly begin cheering and running around as Alex looks into Casey's eyes, "Thank you Casey."

Casey smiles saying, "Anything for you baby. I love you Alex."

Pulling her wife tight in her arms as she looks at their four rambunctious children Alex whispers in her ear, "Well thank you anyway for being here with me always. I love you."


End file.
